My dearest Mercedes,
Thank you for your kind letter. I think you have been sick for a long time and I am very sorry about that. I think your life has been very positive, even when you were a layperson, and when you became a nun, of course, no question. It is so great that you were able to do the Master’s program. You were very lucky to have such a great teacher. I think it is a very positive thing.
In one way, because you are practicing correct devotion to the virtuous friend and you studied well, maybe some very heavy, past negative karma is ripening now, in this life. You have had such a stable life, studying and practicing. All along everything has been very stable, unlike many people who are very excited in the beginning and practice strongly for a few months, then give up.
Experiencing some past negative karma now means that we don’t have to be reborn in the lower realms and experience that very heavy, unbelievable suffering for so many eons. It may be manifesting in this life in the form of sickness, but compared to being reborn in the lower realms, experiencing it now is a very positive thing. If we have to experience this karma in the lower realms, we can’t help ourselves or others. If we are born there, the length of time we have to stay even in the very first hot hell according to human years is two great tre bums. One tre bum equals one hundred million years, and one great tre bum equals ten times one hundred million years. So, two great tre bums equal two times ten times one hundred million years. That is how long we have to spend in just the very first hot hell. The suffering we would experience there is inconceivable, so we do not want to be born in the hell realms even for one second; it is so unbelievable.
Therefore, your sickness is an extremely positive thing and you should feel great happiness. You should feel a billion, zillion times happier than people who win soccer, football or the Olympics, when people get so excited and shout (which sometimes looks like anger to me). You can rejoice in what is happening.
I did an observation, and you need to do the following:
1) The Chag-sum puja needs to be done; I will do this for you.
2) Do the practice Liberation from Bondage of Body, Speech and Mind.
3) Have the naga landlord puja done for you. If you can, ask the geshe in Madrid, but you need to be there when he does it; that is very important .
4) The Most Secret Hayagriva puja needs to be done at Sera Je Monastery. This puja will not be done by the whole of Sera Je; it will just be done by the Hayagriva monks. I will sponsor the puja for you because you are unbelievably kind, offering service to the FPMT, to me, and to the teachings of the Buddhadharma. Actually, offering this small puja for you is nothing in comparison to your kindness.
5) If you can, do the Most Secret Hayagriva torma offering and praise to Hayagriva. This is in the protector prayers section in the FPMT prayer book. Then, if you can, recite four to five malas of Most Secret Hayagriva every day until you are better. When you are chanting the mantra, visualize according to the sadhana. There are a few different visualizations you can do.
6) It also came out very beneficial for you to make offerings to the pretas. This is available as a small booklet from the FPMT Foundation Store, called Offering Water Charity to the Pretas.
7) Several druk-chu-ma pujas are needed; I will do these for you.
8) Recite the Padmasambhava prayer, Eliminating Obstacles. There is a long and a short version.
9) Recite the names of the Thirty-Five Buddhas every day, with your hands in the mudra of prostrations. Visualize that you are covering the whole ground while you prostrate to all the buddhas—not just to the Thirty-Five Buddhas, but to Chenrezig, etc, as well.
I chanted mantras over two bottles of water and have now sent them to you. Please drink a few spoonfuls at the following times—early in the morning when you first wake up, before lunch, in the afternoon and before bed. Thank you very, very much. I hope to see you soon.
With much love and prayers...