5. The Refuge Ceremony

An Object That Will Never Cheat Us

We are very fortunate. Somehow we find ourselves with the positive mental attitude that leads us to take refuge and to rely absolutely forever upon an object that will never cheat us. Relying, instead, on material-­level happiness, which is so transitory and empty, is of little value. Dharma refuge, on the other hand, is so worthwhile. 

Of course, in the regular sense, here in England people are living the good life according to their ability to manage the material world. Compare life here to that in Nepal, for example. Even samsarically speaking, people there are living in very poor conditions. Like they can die from even a minor ailment that here you can easily cure by going to a doctor and taking medicine. With closed minds, they say, “God is my only medicine; I rely solely on God.” When you guys get sick you just go to the doctor. You’re prepared. 

As you now know, the principal cause of disease is delusion, mental disorder, which manifests at the physical level as some kind of sickness. But we can cure that cooperative cause by countering it with another physical energy: medicine. In the East, Westerners often contract hepatitis or something like that. It would be stupid if they were to say, “I’m sick, but this is my karma. I don’t want to see a doctor. I’m not hungry so I’m just not going to eat. Let whatever happens happen.” I think that’s stupid. Yes, we have the principal cause within us, but we can apply an antidote to the cooperative cause that’s making us sick. That will fix the problem, at least for a little while. 

At the moment we’re all healthy, aren’t we? We’re not crazy. We’re OK. But still, the seed of madness is within us. All it takes is one small thing to change and we can become crazy. That can happen, can’t it? The principal cause, the seed, of hepatitis and all other kinds of horrible disease is within us right now. We’re healthy at the moment because we have not yet contacted the cooperative cause to bring it out. But the potential is there. If I touch this candle I’ll get burnt. Once the cooperative cause and the seed are in apposition, pam!—I get sick. 

Anyway, I’m just speaking conventionally, but I think it’s a fact that in general, Western people live better and healthier lives than a lot of people in Nepal and Africa, for example. You can see that. It’s small wisdom, but wisdom nonetheless. It does take a certain kind of wisdom to know how to live a better life. Similarly, taking refuge in the preeminent qualities of Buddha and Dharma also comes from the wisdom that thinks, “It’s completely stupid to rely on material things for happiness. There’s no way they can lead to profound, lasting happiness, especially with the kind of grasping, reactive mind I have, which just leads to confusion and restlessness.” So taking Dharma refuge is extremely worthwhile. Also, taking refuge in the superior qualities of the Buddha doesn’t mean some impossible thing happens, like your body becomes that of the Buddha. That is impossible. It means that your inner qualities become like those of the Buddha; ultimately, you become Dharma. Those are not external attributes. 

Perhaps before meeting the Dharma you thought that there wasn’t much you could control, but now, with even your small experience of Dharma, you find that you do have some control. You can explain to yourself what’s going on, and that lifts your spirits. You know that it’s Dharma wisdom that brings you up. By developing your understanding, by developing your wisdom, your Dharma knowledge, you can see how you can develop your tranquil, peaceful mind infinitely. 

What you really need to understand is that the true savior, the true liberator, is the light of wisdom, not material possessions. When you acknowledge this, when you understand clean clear that it’s your superstitions regarding the sense world, looking at things with a dissatisfied mind, thinking, searching continuously, day and night, “What will make me happy? What will make me happy? I’m unhappy; what can make me happy?” you will recognize how ridiculous the I-­grasping mind is. I’m talking psychology here. This is not a physical explanation. The never-­ending searching, “I’m lost, I’m lost,” grasping at things, always feeling empty, “I want,” constantly feeling that you are nothing but that up there somewhere is something special, totally comes from the ridiculous I-­grasping mind. That’s what you have to understand. 

I explain the ridiculous mind as one that is always thinking, “I’m nothing; I’m nothing. I want something special.” So you’re constantly seeking something special, which you can never find; searching the sense world for something that will bring you satisfaction, which is impossible. But it’s the ego’s nature to be looking for something outside. It’s really painful. That produces superstition; that produces delusion. When you find that something within, your superstitions decrease automatically; there’s less dissatisfaction and less desperate external seeking. Life becomes much simpler. 

Your life is complicated because of superstition and your grasping attitude. When you understand this, have some insight into the nature of your own mind and put your energy into right livelihood, you’re automatically led in the direction of everlasting, peaceful realization. 

As I said just before, we need an object that will not cheat us. What does “cheat” mean? It means we interact with objects in the external world with the great expectation that they will bring us lasting happiness, but sooner or later, contrary to our expectations, they automatically separate from us. There’s no choice. They are transitory by nature. 

Let’s say we have a close friend or we’re in a relationship with someone we’ve chosen. Out of the billions of people on earth, we’ve chosen this one person, feeling, “Oh, he’s so good for me; he’s this, this, this; she’s so good for me; she’s that, that, that,” whatever it may be. Things are good for a while but then something comes along that strains the relationship and it disappears. That’s the nature of relationships. They break up, and it’s painful. That’s the material world. No matter how much you love your dear friend or your material possessions, they’re so transitory. When you don’t need them, they’re there; when you need them, they’re not. 

Wisdom, on the other hand, is always with you, day and night, throughout this life, the intermediate state and your next life, irrespective of the conditions you’re in. When you’re having a horrible time, even your dear friend might not want to come near you, but even if you’re really miserable, wisdom will always be right there. 

Old folks’ homes are a good example. When people get old, some young people can be too terrified to even look them in the face. If you go into a nursing home it can seem as if everybody has basically given up. The residents have given up, society has given up, and it’s almost as if the aged are no longer in the human realm. But what has failed is the material human body. Because of its constantly changing, impermanent nature, there’s no way it can last, and that’s what has cheated the person within. But as I said, the light of wisdom is always with you; it will never cheat you and that is what makes you free.

So Dharma wisdom is your best friend, the best wife, the best husband, the best girlfriend, the best boyfriend. If you have a boyfriend, you worry so much; you’re so afraid that he will leave you. If you have a girlfriend, you worry so much; you’re so afraid that she will leave you. All this fear in relationships comes from your mind. You have the fixed idea, “I really want this to last,” but fixed ideas and reality are different. The nature of reality is change, but that’s not what you want. In fact, your expectation is that things will not change. As a result, you experience so much worry. The movement within objects is like that of a watch—one moment pushes the next one to change: tick, tick, tick. The ephemeral energy of objects is what distresses you: “Maybe he’ll leave me; maybe she’ll leave me.” I don’t know this from experience, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. 

So really, you need to understand how the light of wisdom supports you. Putting it another, simpler way, the light of wisdom offers you more pleasure than your boyfriend or girlfriend does. Your grasping attitude and the fear of being dumped make it impossible to experience real pleasure with them. Experiment in this simple way: check how much in one day your partner makes you happy. Taking everything into account, what is it? An hour? The rest of the time your mind is kind of shaking, shaking, shaking. Do you understand what I mean? I think you do.

I’m not criticizing the object of your partner. It’s psychological. It’s because of your insecurity. Maybe you see your girlfriend chatting with some other guy, and even though it might be completely innocent, you freak out and get all paranoid: “Oh, no, look at them talking. Maybe I’m going to lose her.” Again, I’m sure you people know better than me. You’ve all been on that psychological trip. 

When you put your full trust in Dharma wisdom, though, it can lead you to perfect, indestructible inner happiness. You don’t have too much expectation; you become more reasonable. If you have strong expectation that your partner will make you happy, it will never happen. It’s impossible. You can see: every day you’re dissatisfied with your partner because you’re expecting too much. Most relationships tend to be constantly up and down because the people in them expect too much from the other. Today you might see your girlfriend as beautiful, your boyfriend as handsome, and think, “Oh, she’s the one for me, he’s the one for me,” but tomorrow your partner doesn’t make you happy and you’re dissatisfied: “Oh, maybe this relationship isn’t the best thing for me after all.” Something like that. It’s incredible, but that’s because you expect too much. Another person can’t give you everlasting blissful peaceful realization. No physical relationship can give you that. 

But still, dissatisfaction expects as much. Then the woman runs to another man; the man runs to another woman. That’s what this kind of trip shows. But if you consider it in a simple, everyday life kind of way, keep your expectations reasonable: “I must be as sensible as possible. We have a physical relationship, but at the same time we should help each other. We’re not together simply for physical pleasure. I should look further ahead and make this relationship one of human growth, to achieve higher levels of happiness.” If you think like that, then the physical aspect of your relationship doesn’t really matter all that much and there’s less chance of conflict between you. If you’re psychologically unreasonable and expect too much, you place excessive value on the sense world and prevent yourself from discovering the value of your internal world. Taking refuge counteracts these tendencies by helping you understand how to develop and achieve your inner wisdom light. That is so worthwhile.

People die smuggling diamonds and gold, for example, because they forget their own lives’ value—they value diamonds and gold over their own inner humanity. That’s foolish, isn’t it? People value their own human qualities too little and material objects too much. That’s just wrong. Check out the whole world, but don’t get obsessed with yourself, “I’m like this, I’m like that.” Look at the world at large. You can be sitting here but at the same time you can see the way everybody on earth is. You can see how everybody’s judgment of the external world is too extreme. Forgetting their own intrinsic value, they perpetually look outside, preoccupied with material things. In other words, they spend their whole life for nothing. Examine this from different perspectives. 

Even we ourselves are a good example of this. We know our own inner value and that meditation brings tranquility and peace of mind, yet we never make time for meditation. I’m not talking about when we’re at a meditation course such as this. I mean when we leave and go back to our familiar routines. “Oh, I have no time today.” You had no time yesterday; you have no time today; you have no time this week; you never have time: “I have no time, I have no time, I have no time.” In fact, what you’re doing is valuing external things more and more and forgetting your own value. Like everybody else. 

I’m not saying everybody is necessarily like this but I’m pretty sure the old students know their own trip. Ask them. At the moment, new students have lots of energy because they haven’t had the experiences that old students have had. I think it’s simple, isn’t it?

You should be able to take advantage of the opportunities that Western life offers. If you get yourself together with wisdom, you can make time for everything. Cars and planes have been created to make time. So have supermarkets. In Nepal, if we want to buy several things, we have to go from store to store to store. It can take all day. Supermarkets offer one-­stop shopping. You buy everything you want, go home and you’ve still got time for other things. Like meditation. There are many ways you can take advantage of Western life. 

So that is really worthwhile. Especially if you look at the sense world: how many different religions are there in the world today? I’m not criticizing other religions, but just look at how many followers they have and how these people practice their religion. What kind of refuge do they take? Check up. 

Forget about materialists, who haven’t discovered any religion; they only take refuge in material things. But even religious people, who have a little better understanding, still mostly take refuge in ridiculous ways. For example, statues of Lord Buddha are material objects; if we take refuge in them, we too are taking refuge in material things. 

Many people are like this. They have no understanding that it’s only the light of wisdom that can elevate you into liberation, nirvana, salvation or whatever you want to call it, so they take refuge in mere atoms instead. They also engage in mistaken practices. Like in Nepal, many people believe that their religion says they have to sacrifice animals to the gods, so at certain times they can kill as many as 100,000 sentient beings in a day.¹⁹ The streets run with blood; if you were to go there you might slip and fall in it. This is just so wrong. I’ve seen the same thing in certain parts of Africa on TV. They sacrifice animals and rub their blood on the image of their god to appease him. Such wrong conceptions and wrong paths lead you to ruin your life.

Again, I’m not criticizing other religions, merely trying to point out reality—if you engage in such practices you’re leading the wrong kind of life. We’re allowed to explain the way things are. Saying that one thing is right and another is wrong is not criticism. If, with a biased, deluded mind, you say, “My religion is better than yours; yours is just wrong,” that might be considered to be criticism, but if, with discriminating wisdom, you point out the difference between right actions and wrong, that’s a completely different thing.

It’s similar in Buddhist countries, too. Simple, uneducated people take refuge just by going to temple and folding their hands at their heart. That’s how they take refuge. They light candles, make prostrations and pray hard for something, but they don’t understand how their everyday actions could instead be leading them to liberation or the unified state of buddhahood and so forth. 

The advantage of growing up in the West is that you receive a good education and intellectual training. In general, people from common Eastern families aren’t taught how to think, nor do they have much religious training, so all they can do is take refuge in the simplest way. Western people are very intelligent and good communicators and can examine all of the world’s religions. That’s good; you can see the whole picture instead of just a narrow section of it. And when you do survey the entire range of possibilities, you can see how worthwhile it is to take refuge in the preeminent qualities of the Buddha, the wisdom of the Dharma and the support of the Sangha, your Dharma friends who give you a good visualization and help you in your practice. 

It’s so worthwhile to take refuge in that which can truly liberate you. You have to understand that. Otherwise, you’ll see people taking refuge in the sun, the moon or something else up in the sky. Thinking God is up there, people look up into the heavens, fold their hands and cry, “Please help me.” They gaze upwards pleading for God’s help, yet down here on earth engage in ridiculous actions, somehow expecting him to reach down and say, “My child, come to me.” God can’t guide you in that way. It’s impossible.

However, taking refuge in Lord Buddha’s good qualities and Dharma wisdom is not some kind of partisan political act: “Now I’m a member of the Buddhist party.” Be careful. It’s easy to develop that kind of attitude through attachment to your own ideas. You think, “I like the Buddha’s philosophy; now I belong to his party,” and then look down on others. You look down on others but you don’t look into yourself. 

Lord Buddha’s philosophy is a way for us to relate to our own everyday life. It’s a boat to cross the river of delusion, an elevator to the heights of everlasting peace. Its purpose is to take us beyond delusion, to make our mind happy and healthy. That’s why we take refuge, why we practice Dharma. Be careful to ensure that that’s your purpose too.

Lord Buddha’s teachings are incredible; absolutely too much! You can see how they can raise you up. But when you listen to or try to practice his teachings, your preconceptions flavor them. It’s like when you bake a cake you can add this flavor or that. Similarly, Dharma means one thing, but you flavor it to mean something else. Buddha means this, but you make it that. It’s extremely difficult to act purely with the right understanding of reality.

However, it’s so worthwhile, really worthwhile, just to discover that—instead of superstitiously looking outside of yourself, seeking happiness out there—there’s something much better than the material world to be found within. Discovering that and deciding to seek happiness within yourself rather than out there, you take refuge in the wisdom of Dharma and the preeminent qualities of the Buddha, knowing that if you act in accordance with his teachings, you too can attain his level of understanding and become a buddha yourself.

That’s why we practice the Guru Shakyamuni yoga method. Normally we have the dualistic mind that tells us, “Buddha’s up there; I’m down here, nothing.” Guru yoga closes that gap: Shakyamuni Buddha dissolves into us and we unify with him. By training in this way we destroy the dualistic mind.²⁰

We should be open and honest with ourselves and admit that for countless lives, and even in this one, we have been taking refuge in the external world. What has been the result? Confusion and more attachment. Who has the power to release us from all this? It’s only the Buddha and his knowledge-­wisdom. Through his profound wisdom, he’s the only one who can show us the reality of who and what we are. 

Of course, it’s not only about us; we’re not the ones with the greatest suffering. All mother sentient beings are in the same situation—seeking satisfaction in the external world with the wrong attitude and experiencing misery as a result. Although all they want is happiness, because they use the wrong method, they end up more miserable than ever. So we also need to generate compassion for them. 

Lord Buddha, the ultimate physician, is a perfect object of refuge because he has perfect knowledge. Ordinary, worldly doctors don’t even come close to this. They cannot see our inner nature, the evolution of our delusions or how to attain liberation, so of course they can’t show us all this. Lord Buddha can and does so, clean clear. 

He also has universal compassion and doesn’t discriminate between beings. For example, let’s say my dear wife loves me and I love her . . . we clearly discriminate in such relationships. Lord Buddha’s compassion, however, is nondual; we can completely rely upon his universal compassion, as I mentioned in the example of his equanimity before. We can never rely on somebody who is selfish, unequal or partisan—such a person is obviously not a perfect object of refuge; not completely reliable. Lord Buddha, with his knowledge and universal compassion, shows us the light of Dharma clean clear. This is actually medicine, and through it we can realize the light of wisdom within ourselves. It’s possible.

The Ceremony

So think, 

From now on until I gain perfect and complete enlightenment, I forever take refuge in Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. 

The most profound way of doing this is with great compassion for all universal living beings without partiality for family and friends. This is an incredibly powerful way of destroying the fanatical view of the deluded mind. Therefore, 

From now until I discover complete inner freedom, inner liberation, salvation or enlightenment, my principal, most precious and most trusted refuges from suffering are the preeminent qualities of the Buddha and Dharma wisdom. They are completely reliable, always beneficial and, unlike samsaric objects, will never harm me. 

Material objects sometimes help and sometimes harm, so they are completely unreliable. Our dear friends, for example, are good to us when they are happy and not good to us when they’re not. That’s simple. Dharma wisdom, on the other hand, does not discriminate in that way. Therefore we completely take refuge in Dharma knowledge-­wisdom, in the peerless qualities of the Buddha and in those who have discovered the reality of their own minds, the Sangha, remembering that Sangha can be relative or absolute. Understanding all this and that the Buddha is knowledge-­wisdom consciousness, 

Visualize that out of space, his radiant light body that is consciousness only and possesses not an atom of physical matter suddenly manifests in front of you. 

As you know, Lord Buddha was already enlightened when he appeared on earth, but respecting mother sentient beings’ reality, he manifested taking birth as a baby as we do, even though in all actuality he had already attained everlasting peaceful enlightenment and total wisdom. Nevertheless, he went through the motions of birth from a mother’s womb just for our benefit. So now, simply looking at Lord Buddha in front of you automatically causes all your negative vibrations to disappear, just as a powerful light turned on in a dark room instantly dispels the darkness. In particular, 

Powerful radiant white light comes from his crown chakra to yours, enters your central psychic channel and fills your nervous system with blissful white light, completely purifying your impure body. Powerful radiant red light comes from his throat chakra into yours, purifying all your impurities of speech. And infinite radiant blue light comes from his heart chakra into yours, purifying all your misconceptions and your grasping attitude. At the same time you can also visualize numberless buddhas and bodhisattvas surrounding you throughout infinite space—holy beings who have reached beyond attachment and self-­cherishing thought and are completely living for the benefit of sentient beings—sending you blissful radiant light in the same way.

In terms of benefiting sentient beings, the stories of what Lord Buddha did when he was actualizing the path are incredible. For example, many times he offered his body to other sentient beings. In one of his previous lives on the bodhisattva path he was a celibate monk and there was this woman who was so attached to him that she threatened suicide if he didn’t marry her. So, in order to save her life, he gave up his vow of celibacy and entered that relationship, remaining married to her for twelve years, solely for her sake. After twelve years together she had completely recovered and he was able to resume his ascetic life.

Of course, he wasn’t like us ordinary beings; he was a bodhisattva, and that was an incredible act of compassion, right? Selfishly, we’d say, “Oh, I’m special; I’m a monk. You’re on your own.” We wouldn’t show that level of concern for another being. But that is an excellent example of the bodhisattvas’ way of life. They totally give up their own pleasure and instead concern themselves with lifting others into the everlasting peaceful path to liberation as much as they possibly can. Also, when doing this practice, 

Visualize your mother to your left, your father to your right, your worst enemy—or at least the person who agitates you the most— in front of you, your dearest friend behind you, and all around you all the universal living beings. Then, as above, visualize in space in front of you Lord Buddha’s radiant light body manifesting out of the energy of wisdom consciousness, with an infinite number of buddhas and bodhisattvas filling the entirety of space around you, and they are all sending infinite radiant white, red and blue light from their crown, throat and heart chakras to yours in the same way that Lord Buddha is. 

While visualizing this, generate the great determination that, 

From now until I discover everlasting peaceful enlightenment, I take refuge in the preeminent qualities of the Buddha, the wisdom light of Dharma and the absolute Sangha.

With that motivation, and at the same time visualizing white, red and blue radiant light coming from Lama’s three places into yours, repeat:

[Students follow Lama’s recitation of the refuge ceremony prayers.]

Lob pön, gong su söl, dag [ming di: say you name], she gyi wa, du di nä zung te, ji srid, jang chhub nying po la, chhi kyi bar du, kang nyi nam kyi, chhog, sang gyä la kyab su chhiwo, dö chhag dang, dräl wa nam kyi, chhog, chhö la, kyab su chhiwo, tshhog nam kyi, chhog, ge dun la, kyab su chhiwo.

[Translation; not chanted. Master, please pay attention to me. I [named so and so], from this time until I reach the essence of enlightenment take refuge in Buddha, the best of two legged ones, take refuge in Dharma, best of all things that is free from attachment, take refuge in Sangha best of all assemblies.]

La ma la kyab su chhiwo, sang gyä la kyab su chhiwo, chhö la kyab su chhiwo, ge dun la kyab su chhiwo.
Namo Gurubhya, namo Buddhaya, namo Dharmaya, namo Sanghaya.

[Translation. To the Guru I go for refuge, to the Buddha I go for refuge, to the Dharma I go for refuge, to the Sangha I go for refuge (first in Tibetan, then in Sanskrit).]

At the same time, generate great determination through understanding the qualities of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha’s nature and preeminent qualities. 

[Lama chants, completing ceremony.]

After this purification of your body, speech and mind, all the buddhas and bodhisattvas dissolve into light and sink into Lord Buddha. He sinks into Lama, who also dissolves into light and sinks into your heart through your sushumna, unifying with you. Feel unity, or oneness, and hold that feeling for a while. 

OK, thank you, now we have finished taking refuge. 

From now on, your obligation of having taken refuge is to actualize, or observe, karma as much as you can. What that means is that you should be completely aware your actions, that’s all. 

Very good, dear. Thank you so much, thank you. If any questions arise, you can ask. We still have time. That’s good. Make everything as clear as possible. When you’re clear, you’re much stronger when you get home. If you’re not clear, it can be difficult.

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Notes

19. Google “Gadhimai Festival.” [Return to text]

20. See A Daily Meditation on Shakyamuni Buddha. [Return to text]