You should rejoice more; you need to meditate on the perfect human rebirth, how precious each one is, and how useful, with great meaning. Think of the benefits that you can achieve with a perfect human rebirth. In each second, with a perfect human rebirth, one can achieve any happiness one wishes, because one can create the causes. With bodhicitta, in one second, you can create the causes of enlightenment, and that can also become the cause of achieving liberation along the way, and to have happiness in future lives, as well as happiness in this life. This shows how precious the perfect human rebirth is. It’s the most precious thing. Each second of it is unbelievably precious. Meditate on all these points extensively, such as how difficult it is to find again, and so on.
You should think about how many ants there are in one single field compared to how many people there are in the whole country. The number of people is so small when compared to the field’s ants, not even mentioning the number of ants on a mountain. Compared to that, the number of people in the world is small. So, the number of human beings is very little, and the number who are Buddhist is much smaller even than that, while the number who are not Buddhist is so huge. Then, the number of Buddhists who have met the unmistaken path is very small, and the number who have met the Mahayana teachings is even smaller. The number who have met tantra is the smallest. But you have met all these teachings of the Buddha, so you are the most fortunate one. You have also met the top guru in the world, His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Of course, as for myself, I have no qualities, but you have met so many other great masters, the most qualified in the world, so you are the luckiest one.
In regards to living according to pure vows, even if you broke a branch vow, you haven’t broken any root vow. “Pure” depends on the different levels of definition. What makes one’s life pure is that at the end of the day, you purify negative karma and vices when you go to bed. That makes it pure.
Another example is a fully ordained monk who did not break the four root vows or the 13 residues; that is also living according to pure vows. Compared to one who broke their root vows, those who haven’t broken the root vows are pure.
You must also meditate on the lower realms’ suffering and on karma. That will help you to achieve happiness and a peaceful mind. What you need is contentment, and that comes only by cutting attachment and the dissatisfied mind. For that reason, you should meditate on impermanence, death, the suffering of the lower realms, and karma. That will help cut the expectations of receiving happiness in this life, and will cut all the superstitions. That will make your mind contented, and only this way will you have inner peace and happiness.
You should also read my book The Door to Satisfaction.
You are extremely fortunate to teach Dharma to other sentient beings. Because even for the buddhas, whose highest action is to guide and benefit sentient beings by freeing them from the oceans of sufferings and bring them to enlightenment though eliminating the cause of suffering, this is only done through teaching Dharma. This is what you are doing now, so this is your most precious gift to sentient beings. Dharma is the only thing that cuts the cause of suffering, delusion, and karma, and eliminates the defilements. Only through this can sentient beings be free from all of samsara’s suffering. Only through this can they achieve liberation and enlightenment. Therefore, you should feel very fortunate.