Practices for Domestic Violence and Abuse

Practices for Domestic Violence and Abuse

Date of Advice:
June 2017
Date Posted:
August 2020

A student wrote that her husband was angry, abusive and sometimes violent. Rinpoche gave this advice. [Please note: If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic or family violence and abuse, please seek help from a suitable support service in your region.]

My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,

I checked and your husband should recite 400,000 Vajrasattva long mantras. This is according to my observation.

Also, he should recite the Vajra Cutter Sutra fifty times. He should do however many he can and the rest can be done by the Lama Gyupas at Kopan. If fifty monks do the recitation then it’s finished, so it depends on how many monks recite it. He should recite whatever he can.

I will recite su chen mantra four times.

It would be very good for your husband to make a confession to his guru of any bad thought arising to him, anything like that, for him to make confession. This is the most important thing. It is possible the original mistakes maybe started from there. Any mistakes in relation to the guru—even small mistakes—are very heavy. The effect is not only in this life, not only one experience in the hell realm for many eons, but even if we are born as a human being due to other virtuous actions, then so many hundreds, thousands, millions of lifetimes are affected. It causes harm to all those lives—so many problems of body and mind for many thousands and millions of lifetimes, on and on.

Therefore it’s very important while we have this human rebirth—it is only one time we have this life which has all the opportunities—so now we need to confess, to change, to fix the karma. So we need to  confess any bad thoughts arising to the guru. It is so important, then that becomes like the sun shining. The darkness stops, the darkness of life stops and light starts when we confess to the guru.

For you, it comes out to pray very strongly to Six-arm Black Mahakala every day, and to recite at least one time the Praise to Black Mahakala. Pray to Mahakala to change your husband’s mind, to generate realizations from guru devotion up to enlightenment, renunciation, bodhicitta and right view and the two stages of tantra. Pray very strongly to pacify all the harms, all the negative thoughts, all the spirit harms, all the things. Pray every day to Six-arm Mahakala, reciting the mantra and making very strong prayers every day. In my observation, this came out very beneficial.

This is my advice at this time.

With much love and prayers ...