For the father who committed suicide, I suggest five nyung näs for the family there, to be done as a family group or by one person.
Also dedicate all the extensive merits, the past, present and future merits, dedicate all the merits for the father to be born immediately in Buddha’s pure land where he can achieve full enlightenment or at least have a perfect human rebirth and meet the Mahayana teachings and a perfect teacher who reveals the perfect, completed path, the unmistaken path, in order to achieve full enlightenment.
The family, or some of the family, can recite OM MANI PADME HUM 200,000 times. Visualize the father and all sentient beings in the heart. Think that they are totally purified of all the obscurations and negative karmas collected from beginningless rebirths. Visualize that nectar beams, like sunbeams, are emitted from Guru Chenrezig. Recite the last prayer from the nyung nä text, that we recite after many prostrations, when kneeling. Recite that prayer for the father and the whole family.
Please tell the family whose father committed suicide that all those in the West don’t know it is spirit harm. The spirits occupied or possessed the mind of that person. You can see this, for example, when someone hangs themselves with rope, but it can happen in many different ways. In Japan there was a man standing at a train station and his mind was possessed by a spirit, so he heard a voice telling him to push the next person. Then he pushed the other person and they fell down, then the train came and that person was killed under the train. So it happens in all kinds of ways.
At Lawudo when I started the first monastery, which is now Kopan Monastery, at that time there were mostly young boys. One small boy monk heard his mother calling from outside, down below the window of the house. It was at night and everybody was asleep; it seems the calling was done by spirits. So he dressed up and went outside. It looked like there was a wide road and way down in the valley, called Mende, there was an old-style stupa, from where the road came up.
The monk saw that there was a very rich man coming up the road, riding on a horse which was well-decorated. Then suddenly there was a black man, I think the spirit, which suddenly ran away to the left side. The white man was coming up, so this is the country deva. There is huge rocky mountain on the left side of the cave and this is where the country deva resides. He was protecting the monk. Then the monk became conscious, and he arrived in the early morning outside the house where they slept.
The reasons to kill yourself, there is no essence, such a tiny reason, but the spirit makes you believe it’s very important.
Therefore, it is very important to always examine what thought comes. If something does not make much sense, by checking, then you can know a spirit possessed your mind, used your mind.
Normally we need strong refuge; we need to rely on Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, and of course, our basic practice is to stop creating negative karma and to practice good karma. If we have some problem, such as strong attachment or something, then related to that, they harm us, but if our practice is stronger, then they can’t harm us. Even if the spirit wants to, they can’t harm us. Anyway, the best protection is bodhicitta.
Millions of maras tried to harm the Buddha—one million maras tried to harm him in so many hundreds of ways—but he became enlightened the next early morning, so then they couldn’t harm him. They tried to harm him, but the Buddha’s mind was living in loving kindness, so all the million maras were completely defeated and he was enlightened completely.
For the boy, please explain the whole story—to the family and to the boy as well. He should get the Most Secret Hayagriva torma initiation and practice this every day and recite the mantra. He needs to totally rely on that enlightened being and to be compassionate like the ocean toward every sentient being, and to complete all the realizations, all the understanding.
Why is the deity wrathful? It is wrathful toward our selfish mind and ignorance, which is the source of all the obstacles and all the suffering of samsara. This precious human life is short and we can die at any time, but cheating is harmful. We believe we are always going to live for a very long time, therefore we need to practice the holy Dharma correctly. So we should study the holy Dharma. That is most important. We have a short life and we have to make it most useful.
For limitless number sentient beings, then our life naturally becomes meaningful.
Please tell the family this.