My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
Thank you very much for your kind email, I was very happy to receive it.
In regard to your request about which deity you have the strongest connection with, the purpose of practicing Highest Yoga Tantra is to achieve enlightenment as quickly as possible in order to liberate sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric sufferings and bring them to enlightenment in the shortest possible time. When your mind is ready, take the initiations when available and train your mind in the practice of the generation stage.
The reason to take Highest Yoga Tantra initiations and do the practice is that this is the quickest way to achieve enlightenment in this life for yourself, and then to be able to free the numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric suffering and bring them to enlightenment the quickest.
According to my observation the deities that you have strongest connection with are Guhyasamaja, Kalachakra and Chenrezig Gyalwa Gyatso. Whichever one you have strongest feeling toward is your main deity, but you can take both initiations and do both retreats if you want. You can choose one to be oneness with day and night to quickly achieve enlightenment, to enlighten sentient beings, to free the numberless sentient beings from the numberless oceans of samsaric sufferings and to bring them to buddhahood
Because of your Dharma connection, you worked in the office, so this means you worked for me, also for His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Lama Yeshe. Therefore your work for the last ten years, whatever you have done has been the greatest purification and it becomes the greatest, biggest way to collect the most extensive merits. That is such a quick way to achieve enlightenment. You should know this and rejoice in every second.
It is said in the Essence of Ksitigarbha Sutra:
Working for guru is to achieve enlightenment.
I am sorry I don’t remember the quotation completely clearly, but this is essence.
Then as Sakya Pandita said:
The merit you collect by making charity of your limbs for a thousand eons, giving away your head, legs and so forth, and even dedicating that merit to sentient beings, can all be achieved in one second by the guru’s path.
Sakya Pandita also said:
As fire burns wood and turns it into ashes in one second, like that if the glorified guru is pleased, the negative karmas are burned in one second.
Thank you very much. Thank you for the practice you have done and are doing. Please remember what makes your life most meaningful is meditation on the lamrim, and living your life with bodhicitta motivation. This is the best.
With much love and prayers ...