My very dear one, 
I’m very, very sorry to hear about your sickness and obstacles that have happened since you left your partner, but for us that is the discovery of how samsara is in the nature of suffering. It’s a sign that we are in samsara, not nirvana, not enlightenment. That’s showing a very strong sign that we should [try to] be free as quickly as possible from samsara. If we are not free from samsara this is what happens, things such like this. There are so many heavy sufferings in the human world and this is not talking about the lower realms. Even the entire human suffering, the heaviest one, is great pleasure and peace compared to one tiny suffering of the hell realm.

You are very lucky compared to that, because you are still alive as a precious human being. You have a precious human body that you can use to change your mind from that which causes samsara’s oceans of suffering and particularly the lower realms, into a new mind, which is the cause of happiness. It is the cause of not only the happiness of this life, but also the happiness of all the future lives, and then ultimate happiness, nirvana, liberation from samsara—ultimate happiness, the greatest one, peerless happiness, the state of omniscience, enlightenment, in order to free the numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric suffering and bring them to peerless happiness, the state of omniscience. This is what you can do as a human being by meeting the Dharma. That’s why a human body is so precious, unbelievably, most unbelievably precious.

You can’t explain the Dharma to cats, dogs, mosquitoes and so on. You can’t make them understand. You can’t explain the four noble truths. How long have you been a Buddhist? How many years, months, weeks, hours, have you been a Buddhist? Death didn’t happen yet. That’s the other big problem. At death we can go to the lower realms, particularly the hells, but that didn’t happen yet. So there are many things.

Now where you should turn is to the Guru, Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Usually strong practice is not done and that’s why we don’t remember to take refuge in the Guru, Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. When problems like this happen, now you should turn your life to Medicine Buddha. The prayers you make to Medicine Buddha are so powerful for success, also [prayers] to Most Secret Hayagriva and His Holiness Dalai Lama.

Whenever something happens, turn your life to His Holiness, even when you die, which is the biggest obstacle. For some people it’s the most happiest thing to die. They go to a pure land, or have very high realizations and achieve enlightenment after that. For most people death is a huge suffering. Also many people don’t know about reincarnation and karma, so they prefer death because they are ignorant. It’s like a blind person or a hallucinating person jumping over the cliffs thinking there’s a beautiful road.

Practices 

I am sorry for the delay in replying to you. I checked immediately and I will recite the Diamond Cutter Sutra one time, dedicating it for you. I will do this right now and also the White Umbrella Deity.

You need to have the puja called she-nyin dü-dog done by Sera Je Tsawa Khangtsen. After these pujas, if you are still not better there is the possibility of Shakya Senge—one hundred meat and one hundred dough puja—being done.

You need to wear Hayagriva protection and the protection number which has the shape of steps.

You should recite the mantra Liberating from Bondage. This can be recited or worn, but it has to be blessed. Some people recite it and some wear it. [You can find links to the Dharani Extremely Conquering from Bondage in the FPMT Catalogue.]

I will recite the Thirteen Chakra Prayer mantra for you.

You also need to have Padmasambhava Incense Puja done by Kopan Lama Gyupas, not necessarily all the monks, just one or two monks.  

With much love and prayers...