My dear one,
I received your message tonight. Thank you for your hard work in the past for the FPMT and for me. Thank you for all your patience. I know you had hard times in the past, especially when I gave teachings and so forth, because of the length of time, and maybe other things. However, you have sincerity and good humor, and are an intelligent person. So thank you.

If your mind leans stronger toward samsaric pleasure and not thinking of liberation, then it is better to return your vows properly to the geshe at your Dharma center. If you give back your vows properly, you will be able to take them again just before dying, so you can die a pure monk.

If your mind is wanting samsaric pleasure, and I tell you to stay a monk, you will feel like you are in a prison. I am not sure how many intelligent babies you are going to make.

Anyway, I am happy you stayed a monk a long time. You will enjoy the benefits for many lifetimes to come. If you did it with bodhicitta, then the benefits you experience will be infinitely more.

Thank you.
With much love and prayer...