Mothers Cherish Their Children
Both Human and Animal Mothers Cherish Their Children
Your first question to me is about how to be a good mother. Generally speaking, we can see how much human mothers cherish their children. They are even willing to sacrifice their lives numberless times for them. But this is something that even animals do. Some time ago I saw a video of a mother hen with her many chicks. The chicks were in a nest that she had made of wool and she kept them hidden under her body. When a snake came to eat the chicks, she used her beak to peck at the snake as there was no other way for her to protect her chicks. She struck it right on its face, near its mouth, and because she hurt the snake, it went away. After that experience, it probably didn’t come back to attack the mother hen and her babies!
Even birds that are smaller than chickens make sacrifices for their babies. For example, on my iPad I saw a video of a bird that, after it makes a nest, pulls out its own small feathers and uses them to line the nest to make it really soft and comfortable for its babies. It is unbelievable how even birds try to protect their children as much as they can. I’m sure there are many other things they do that are also amazing.
Among some kinds of birds, the father bird also catches insects and brings them to the mother bird to feed to their babies. I saw one kind of bird that again and again, all day long, went out to catch insects for its babies and bring them back to the nest. However, since catching and killing the insects was done motivated by strong attachment cherishing its babies, all that time it was creating a huge amount of negative karma.
All Sentient Beings Have Been Our Mother
These kinds of behavior are very common to both human beings and animals. Mothers, in particular, work hard for their children because they cherish and are very attached to them. When you see what kinds of things mothers, including animals, do for their children, you should relate this to yourself by thinking that those sentient beings have been your mother in your many past lives. At that time, they were kind to you, cherished you, and were very attached to you. For example, when you were born to them, they behaved exactly like those mother birds. And that did not happen just one time; you were born to them numberless times, so they did that numberless times for you with many different kinds of bodies. When from your side you think that, even though in this life you don’t know them and they don’t know you and you don’t have any connection with each other, you will feel close to them and hold them in your heart. This will happen if you have a strong good heart and much compassion for others, even if you don’t have a realization of bodhicitta.
One time I was at the airport in San Francisco for some hours while waiting for a flight. There was a young mother there who was taking very good care of her two children, a little boy and girl. She even moved to another spot so that her children would have more space to run around. As I watched them, I suddenly thought that she also took care of me like that in the past. Before I thought that, there was no feeling of being close to her, instead she was far from me, like looking at a mountain in the distance. But after I thought that she took care of me and served me in the same way numberless times when she was my mother and I was her child, I felt close to her and that she was close to me.
The Four Kindnesses of Mothers
There is a meditation on how sentient beings have been our mothers and been kind to us. We can contemplate the many kindnesses of our mother condensed in these four points:
- Our mother gave us a human body
- Our mother protected us from many dangers
- Our mother bore many hardships for us
- Our mother educated us in the ways of the world
1. Our Mother Gave Us a Human Body
Our mother along with our father gave us this human body, which is much better than that of an animal for achieving even temporary happiness. Since human beings are intelligent, we can use this life to find the best way to achieve happiness. This is speaking generally, without talking about the real way to stop suffering and achieve happiness, which is the Dharma way. Because of having this human body, we are able to meet, learn, and practice Dharma.
We can use this human body to purify our negative karma, the cause of the lower realms, and to practice the path by abandoning negative karma and keeping pure morality. By doing this, we can achieve a higher rebirth. On top of that, we can even become free from samsara and achieve the ultimate happiness of nirvana by practicing the three higher trainings, the higher training of morality, the higher training of concentration and the higher training of wisdom.
We can also become free from this lower nirvana and achieve great nirvana, full enlightenment, by practicing the six paramitas with a bodhicitta motivation. Then, by achieving full enlightenment, we can liberate the numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric sufferings. And not only that, we can also bring them all to the peerless happiness of full enlightenment, the total cessation of obscurations and the completion of all realizations. It is really unbelievable what we can do with a human body. Therefore, not only receiving a human body, but also, like us this time, being able to meet the Buddhadharma and have the opportunity to practice it, which is so unbelievable, is all due to the kindness of our mother.
2. Our Mother Protected Us from Many Dangers
Our mother protected our life from hundreds of dangers every day.
3. Our Mother Bore Many Hardships for Us
Our mother also bore many hardships for us. While we were in her womb for nine months, she did her best to take care of us. Based on what she knew, she gave up doing many things so as to not harm us and to make sure that we were comfortable. Then when she gave birth to us, she experienced incredible pain. If our father was there at the time, he too would have shown us how much he loved us.
After we were born, our mother, with much concern, worry and fear for us, sacrificed many years of her life in so many ways for us. Children have constant demands and never give their parents any peace. They want to do this and that and cry when they don’t get what they want. Even during the night, they can be very demanding. It is unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable.
For example, another time when I was waiting for a flight, I watched a father and mother who were taking care of their three children. One wanted this, one wanted that, and the other one wanted something else. They were constantly crying. Wow, wow, wow. After five minutes, I got totally bored watching the children, but the parents had to suffer like this for so many years. Can you imagine it? Their whole life, day and night, they sacrifice themselves and willingly suffer for their children. What parents do is amazing, really amazing.
4. Our Mother Educated Us in the Ways of the World
After giving us a human body, our mother educated us in the ways of the world. When we were born, our body was nothing more than a piece of flesh, kind of like a frog. Then, slowly, slowly our mother turned us into a human being by teaching us how to walk, how to speak and so on.
She also taught us what to do to prevent harm and suffering in our life and at the same time how to achieve happiness. Then she sent us to school and perhaps even on to college or university. To do this, she worked unbelievably hard to save money and then she spent it all to cover the expenses of our education, while all the time being concerned and worried about us. Our father probably also did the same.
That today we can read and write is due to the kindness of our mother. Due to this, we can now learn the Dharma. For example, we can learn about the four noble truths. They describe what suffering is and what the cause of suffering is. They also explain what can be achieved—the everlasting happiness of nirvana, which is the cessation of suffering and its cause. Likewise, they describe the path, in particular, the wisdom directly realizing emptiness, that leads to the cessation of suffering. Wow, wow.
By practicing the Dharma, we can become free forever from the sufferings of samsara, which we have been experiencing from beginningless rebirths. We can become free from the unimaginable sufferings of hell beings—the sufferings of the eight hot hells, the eight cold hells, the neighboring hells and the occasional hells. We can also become free from the sufferings of pretas or hungry ghosts. Pretas experience the sufferings of thirst and hunger, as well as those of heat and cold, for an unbelievable length of time. It is said that they cannot find even a drop of water or a spoonful of food for ten thousand years, no matter how thirsty and hungry they are.
We can also become free from the sufferings of animals. They are extremely foolish, eat one another and suffer from heat and cold. Animals are also used by human beings and made to do very hard work, such as the oxen that even nowadays are used in poor countries to plow the land. We can also become free from the eight types of sufferings of human beings, the sufferings of asuras and the sufferings of suras.
We haven’t experienced these sufferings only one time. Due to being under the control of delusions and karma, the causes of suffering, we have experienced the sufferings of the six realms from beginningless rebirths. But now, having met the Dharma, we can become free forever from all these sufferings. This is even without talking about great nirvana, enlightenment. That we can achieve all this is due to the kindness of our mother.
To Take Care of Some Sentient Beings but Not Others Is Attachment
Tsogdruk Rangdrol, a great non-sectarian lama who taught the lamrim as it was taught by Lama Atisha and Lama Tsongkhapa, said that if we only cherish and pay attention to particular sentient beings, that is attachment. For example, if the reason we cherish someone is because “This person is my mother,” or “my father,” or “my wife,” or “my husband,” or “my child,” that is attachment. Cherishing and helping only particular people, such as our family and those with whom we have a good connection, while ignoring and not helping other sentient beings is attachment; it is not a pure thought of cherishing others. Due to thinking in this way, we renounce and don’t help those who are “not mine.” From that, anger comes and we harm others, especially those who harm us and those who are unrelated to us. For example, I heard that the First World War started gradually from one influential and powerful person thinking, “This is mine,” and being attached to that, and then renouncing what was “not mine” but was “theirs.” That concept was the basis for a war in which many millions of people suffered and many people died. This is an example of the danger that comes from not cherishing all sentient beings.
Even in daily life, when we don’t have a happy mind and constantly think “This is mine” and “This is theirs,” we renounce others and don’t help them. Or we even resort to harming them to get happiness for ourselves and for our family and friends. Then, from that, hundreds of problems arise, one after the other. As a result, we end up living our whole life with difficulties that we ourselves created.
Cherishing the people we like and harming those we don’t like is regarded as good by ordinary ignorant people who don’t know Dharma, and especially by those who don’t know the Mahayana teachings on the kindness of sentient beings and how sentient beings are so precious. This is not the way to be a good mother nor is it the way to take care of one’s children.
The Extensive Kindnesses of Sentient Beings
I like to explain the extensive kindnesses of sentient beings in these three ways.
1. All Our Happiness, Including Enlightenment, Comes from the Kindness of Sentient Beings
I present the first extensive kindness of sentient beings in this way. A sentient being is any being with a mind. When you hear that term, you shouldn’t think only of those beings who have a human mind, but any being in general who has a mind. The definition of mind is “that which is clear and perceives objects.” “Sentient being,” therefore, includes even the smallest organisms that we can’t see with our bare eyes but only through a microscope.
When someone is angry with us, harms us with their body or speech, dislikes us, is cruel to us, says nice things to our face but insults us behind our back, makes us feel disgusted, or belittles us, because we interpret that being as harming us, we think of that person as bad and call them “enemy.” But now, instead of getting angry at them, we should try to see that sentient being as having a suffering obscured mind. From that, great compassion arises. From that great compassion, bodhicitta arises. From that, the numberless bodhisattvas arise. From them, the numberless buddhas arise. From them, the numberless holy actions of the buddhas arise.
The actions of a buddha are called trin lä in Tibetan. Since this is an honorific word for “action,” I translate it into English as “holy action.” There are two kinds of holy actions. One of them exists in the buddhas’ mind and one exists within us sentient beings. The buddhas’ holy actions that exist in us are all our virtuous thoughts. From our virtuous thoughts—the buddhas’ holy actions—come all the happiness we have experienced from beginningless rebirths, all the happiness we are experiencing now, and all the happiness we will experience in the future, including our future enlightenment.
Of course, before we achieve buddhahood, there is our virtuous thought—the buddhas’ holy action—that is the wisdom directly perceiving emptiness, or the ultimate nature of phenomena. This is the true path that is holy Dharma. When we generate that wisdom, we become an arya sangha. Then, when we complete the merits of virtue and merits of wisdom, we achieve their results, the holy body and holy mind of a buddha, the rupakaya and dharmakaya, and become a buddha. After we become a buddha, we cause other sentient beings to generate the true path, the wisdom directly perceiving emptiness, in their minds, at which time they become arya sangha. Also, after we become a buddha, we cause numberless sentient beings to become buddhas.
So, all that and all our three-time happiness come from buddhas. Buddhas come from bodhisattvas. Bodhisattvas come from bodhicitta. Bodhicitta comes from great compassion. Great compassion comes from suffering obscured sentient beings. So, that means great compassion also comes from this specific sentient being who dislikes you, who doesn’t love you, who harms you with their body or speech. So, you can see now, very clearly and logically, that all your past happiness from beginningless rebirths, all your present happiness and all your future happiness, totally, come from this person, the one you call “enemy.”
Also, that you can achieve the Dharma (the absolute Dharma of true paths and true cessations), become a sangha (an arya sangha who has directly realized emptiness), then become a buddha (a fully enlightened being), and then cause numberless sentient beings to achieve the Dharma, become sangha, and then become a buddha, all come from this person who you call “enemy.” Therefore, this person is most unbelievably precious for you. They are precious in the same way that money is considered very important and precious by everyone in the world, whether they are a king, a president or a beggar, because if they have money they can get whatever pleasant things they want.
Another example of something precious is land. Land is regarded as precious because if we have land, we can build a house on it or we can sell it. Because we can do so many things with it to achieve happiness for ourselves and others, land is regarded as very precious. Similarly, this person is most unbelievably precious. In fact, they are beyond precious.
These are just a couple of brief examples that show how this person who you think of as an enemy is precious and kind, but actually their kindness is way beyond these examples. This person is most precious, most dear, most kind and wish-fulfilling because from them you achieve all the temporary happinesses of this and future lives, the ultimate happiness of liberation from samsara and the peerless happiness of the state of omniscience, buddhahood. The kindness of that person, if it were materialized, would fill limitless space. Just as space has no limit, there is no limit to the kindness of that person.
So, the conclusion is that because we receive all our past, present and future happiness, including enlightenment, by the kindness of every hell being, every hungry ghost, every animal, every human being, every asura and every sura, each and every single sentient being, even an ant, a mosquito, or a tiny fly, is most dear, most precious, most kind and wish-fulfilling. That all our happiness, including enlightenment, comes from sentient beings is one of the extensive kindnesses we receive from sentient beings.
2. All Sentient Beings Have Been Our Mother and Been Kind to Us in Four Ways
As I mentioned in detail above, all sentient beings have been our mother and been kind to us in four ways: they gave us a human body (especially a perfect human rebirth with which we are able to meet and practice Dharma), protected us from many dangers, bore hardships for us and educated us in the ways of the world.
3. Shelter, Food and Clothing Come to Us from the Kindness of Sentient Beings
i) Sentient beings suffered in order for us to be able to have shelter
The house we live in, which protects us from the elements, came to us from the suffering of many sentient beings. Many insects, such as ants, and many small animals, such as mice, were harmed and even killed to build the foundation of the house. On top of that, many human beings worked hard and created much negative karma to build it.
ii) Sentient beings suffered in order for us to be able to have food
Our food and drink also come to us from the suffering of many sentient beings. For example, the tiny sentient beings that live in water get killed in order to provide us with water that is safe to drink. The small insects that live on vegetables, fruit, grains and so forth get harmed and killed in the production of food for us human beings. For example, if we think back in time about how even one grain of rice came to us from another grain of rice that came from another grain of rice and so on, we will see that numberless sentient beings suffered even for this single grain of rice, let alone how many suffered for a plate of rice. Also, the people who worked to produce the rice created much negative karma by harming and killing those sentient beings and, due to that, they will suffer and experience much harm in the future. Wow, wow, wow. Numberless sentient beings suffered and worked for our food. Therefore, if we eat it with attachment—just for our own happiness and just for the happiness of this life—that would be terrible. If we eat it only thinking of our own happiness and never think of other sentient beings’ happiness, and, in particular, the happiness of those who suffered and worked for that food, that would be very selfish and cruel.
Therefore, we should eat food for sentient beings, to be able to work for sentient beings with our body, speech and mind in order to free them from suffering and achieve happiness for them. Then, we should eat it not only to free them from the lower realms and bring them to a higher rebirth, but to free them from samsara and bring them to the everlasting happiness of nirvana. And then, not only that, we should eat it to free them even from that lower nirvana and bring them to great nirvana, enlightenment, the total cessation of both the gross and subtle obscurations and the completion of all realizations. This one time that we have received a human rebirth and have met the Mahayana teachings, we have this incredible opportunity to be of benefit to others. We are so fortunate, so fortunate, so fortunate to be able to do this.
iii) Sentient beings suffered in order for us to be able to have clothing
Our clothing also comes to us from the suffering of sentient beings. Of course, there’s no question that clothing made from animal skin or fur comes to us by the killing of animals. Likewise, in the case of silk clothing, many silkworms were killed to make it. Those animals suffered so much for us to have this clothing. Then, on top of that, other human beings killed the animals and in doing so created much negative karma.
As well as clothing that comes from animals, we also wear clothing that comes from plants. It too comes to us from the suffering of animals and people. During its creation, many insects and small animals were killed in the fields, and many human beings worked hard and created negative karma to make it.
In short, if we examine any piece of clothing you wear, we will see that much suffering was involved in the process of making it. Therefore, the pleasure and protection that comes from wearing clothing is the result of many sentient beings experiencing harm and many people creating negative karma. It did not happen without causes and conditions; many sentient beings suffered and were killed for the clothing that we wear. So, there’s no choice—we have to work for sentient beings. We have to stop harming sentient beings and instead do what we can to benefit them. This is the very foundation of Dharma practice.
You must really meditate on this again and again until you feel the kindness of sentient beings ever more deeply. The more you feel their kindness, the more the thought to harm them will naturally stop. You will come to a point where you won’t dare to harm others ever again
All Suffering Comes from Mistreating Others
People Treat Animals Like Dirty Toilet Paper
Each day in the world millions of chickens and pigs are killed. The number of fish killed every day is even more than that; it might be in the trillions. They are uncountable. Then many other kinds of animals are killed every day to feed human beings.1 Lama khyen, lama khyen.2
People use animals like they use toilet paper or tissue paper for cleaning dirty things. Human beings can at least express their suffering but animals can’t. Many people don’t think that animals suffer, even though it can be seen very clearly when they are unhappy, disturbed, or scared. Somehow people don’t know they are suffering or don’t even notice their suffering. People are so ignorant. It is unbelievable. They have skies of ignorance. Wow, wow, wow, what they don’t know.
On top of this ignorance, people even misinterpret the suffering of animals. For example, in Nepal, people commonly sacrifice animals. A long time ago, one of the Kopan cooks, who was called Ram, told me that when he was preparing to kill a goat, he first sprinkled water on it. This made the goat shake its body, which he interpreted to mean that the goat had accepted to be sacrificed and offered to a Hindu god. Then, he would cut its neck with a knife. That is a terrible misunderstanding! If someone were to unexpectedly sprinkle water on your body, you would also shake. You would even scream if you thought it meant that you were going to be killed. People are unbelievably ignorant.
All the Dangers from the Elements Would Come to a Stop If People Were to Stop Harming Animals
All the suffering in the world is entirely due to the karma of the people and animals living here. For example, both people and animals experience much suffering in China. In Wuhan, the place where the coronavirus came from, markets are shown on TV where thousands of animals are killed each day, their bodies lined up waiting to be bought and cooked. The reason why the virus started there is because people caused so much suffering to animals. It is also why there are always terrible floods in Wuhan, with homes and businesses being filled with water and people being carried away by the rushing water. That has happened over and over again.
As well as flooding in China and other places, recently there have been many earthquakes, fires and storms in the world. For example, there have been huge wildfires in the United States, some of which were caused by lightning and some by careless people. For example, sometimes when people make a barbeque to cook meat, a spark jumps out and starts a fire that quickly spreads. These wildfires happen especially in the summer after it has been very dry for months.
All the dangers caused by the four elements—earth, water, fire and wind—come from people’s minds. In particular, it came from the negative mind wishing to harm sentient beings. Because people don’t know that animals are sentient beings, they think that it is fine to kill and eat them. They are convinced that in doing so they are acting purely. However, I think that if the Chinese, who consume the most meat in the world, were to stop eating meat and harming animals, all these dangers from the elements would lessen and even stop completely.
All the Pain We Experience Comes from Harming Others
Lama Atisha was an Indian Buddhist master and scholar who came to Tibet in the eleventh century. He is said to have had 157 gurus, two of whom were his root gurus. One root guru was Lama Serlingpa from whom Lama Atisha received complete teachings on bodhicitta, like pouring the contents of one pot into another pot, over a period of twelve years. The other was Lama Dharmarakshita who composed the thought transformation, or lojong, text called Wheel of Sharp Weapons. This text clearly teaches that all suffering and danger stops when we stop harming others. For example, verse 10 of this text says:
Whenever you have unbearable pain in your body,
It is the sharp weapons of the negative karma turning back upon you
Of having inflicted harm on the bodies of transmigratory beings [in the past].
Now you should take upon yourself every single sickness [of sentient beings].
This means that because you harmed others in the past, now, as a result of that karma, the harm is coming back on or is ripening on you. Therefore, you should imagine taking upon yourself every single sickness of sentient beings. In other words, think that you are experiencing the sickness for them and that they become free from suffering. You can also think that they become enlightened. In this way, you make your experience of suffering most beneficial for other sentient beings. You utilize your suffering in the path to your own happiness and enlightenment and in the path to all sentient beings’ enlightenment, in order to free them from suffering. This is an incredible way of thinking and the most unbelievably profound mind training practice and Dharma practice.
Your Child Has Been Kind to You in Past Lives
Your Child is More Precious than a Wish-Granting Jewel
Just as other sentient beings have been kind to you, so too has your child. Your child is a most incredibly kind sentient being, whose kindness, if materialized, would fill limitless space. Even a buddha, an omniscient one, is never able to finish explaining their kindness. Even gold and diamonds filling the whole sky, no matter how precious they are, are nothing compared to this sentient being who is your child. Your child is even more precious than a wish-granting jewel, which is much rarer than diamonds and sapphires.
It is said that in the past wheel-turning kings and bodhisattvas found wish-granting jewels in the ocean. They would clean the wish-granting jewel in three ways and put it on a banner on top of a house on the fifteenth day of the lunar month. Then whatever temporary enjoyments they prayed for—nowadays however many jet airplanes, helicopters, ships, Ferraris or Lamborghinis, swimming pools and palaces made of gold and diamonds they wanted—would be materialized. This happened because they had an unbelievable amount of merit; the wish-granting jewel was just a condition for the merit to ripen.
But even wish-fulfilling jewels filling the sky is nothing compared to the kindness of your child, this sentient being. Even if you have skies of wish-granting jewels, these alone can’t stop you reincarnating in the lower realms and experiencing suffering. They don’t help you receive a higher rebirth. They don’t help you become free from samsara and achieve the ultimate happiness of liberation from samsara. They don’t help you become free from the lower nirvana and achieve great nirvana, the peerless happiness of enlightenment, which is the cessation of even the subtle obscurations and the completion of all realizations. Skies of wish-granting jewels alone also do not enable you to free the numberless sentient beings from the suffering of samsara. Nor can they enable you to bring the numberless sentient beings to enlightenment. However, your child can cause all that to happen.
Just as All Sentient Beings Are Most Precious, So Too Is Your Child
Every hell being, every hungry ghost, every animal, every human being, every asura, every sura and every intermediate state being has been kind to you. “Every animal,” for example, includes even the sentient beings living in the ocean that are so small that they can only be seen with a microscope. It includes the worms living under the earth, the tiny flies and insects living in bushes and grass, and the invisible microorganisms living in human and animal bodies. It also includes all 13,000 kinds of ants that have been identified by scientists. From every single one of these sentient beings, you receive all your past, present and future happiness, including enlightenment. Therefore, every one of them is most precious, most kind, most dear, and fulfills all your wishes for happiness. So, if you can offer them even a little service or cause them even a little pleasure, it should be the most important thing for you to do and it should make you the most happy. That, in turn, depends on you refraining from harming them.
Now, it is exactly the same with your child. From your child, you receive all your past, present and future happiness. They too are most precious, most kind, most dear, and wish-fulfilling. Therefore, the most important thing to do is to stop harming them, to give them even a small pleasure, and to offer them whatever service you can. This is what is most fulfilling for you and what makes you happiest. You can rejoice in your luck, thinking how fortunate you are to be able to offer service to and benefit this child with your body, speech and mind. You should constantly think how to make your body, speech and mind beneficial for them. That is what you should think every day, morning, afternoon, and evening. Especially when you are exhausted, tired or bored, you should think of the kindness of your child.
This should be your attitude and your way of taking care of your child. With this attitude, you are not taking care of them out of self-cherishing and attachment to your own happiness. You are not doing it out of attachment to I and mine thinking “This is my child,” due to which you renounce other sentient beings, develop attachment and anger toward them, and spend your whole life creating negative karma. Those attitudes only bring suffering, not happiness. Instead, you should always feel that your child is precious and that you are fortunate to have them in your life. Then, with a pure motivation you should serve and take care of them. In this way, you will have happiness and satisfaction all the time.
Notes
1 See, for example, this article on how many animals we eat each year. [Return to text]
2 Lama khyen literally means “Guru, think of me” or “Guru, understand,” but Lama Zopa Rinpoche often uses it as an expression of compassion for suffering sentient beings. [Return to text]
