First of all, rejoice. Rejoice in all of your 15 years of service. Not just a little, but huge rejoicing. This is so unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable. How fortunate that you had the karma to bring you together with this great teacher, to have the opportunity for so many years of service to him. You must rejoice. Okay? So many eons of negative karma are purified by your service. You should have incredible joy and happiness over this. So much negative karma is purified! Also, think that all of Geshe-la’s displeasure with you is from your past negative karma that was accumulated in previous lives. So, your focus should be to purify this.

Anytime some bad thing is happening with Geshe-la, then you must think immediately: “To the view of my hallucinatory and mistaken mind, my own mistakes appear in the actions of the guru. Realizing these are my own mistakes, I must abandon them like poison.” This is so very good to think about; it is such strong protection for the mind. Thinking this way will give you confidence and strength. It’s from the Fifth Dalai Lama. Think the Fifth Dalai Lama has instructed you personally and he himself is telling you this. Ha ha ha! (Tibetan: rang sem lokpai trup la shen nang la...?)

Also you must think about the nine attitudes of guru devotion, you know, to have the attitude like an obedient dog, etc. This is very important.

Student: It’s so hard now for my mind to want to develop this attitude of being like an obedient dog. I don’t want to be obedient because I have different opinions about things, and I want to express those.

Rinpoche: No, no, it’s okay. Just think these attitudes [of guru devotion] are for enlightenment, so it’s okay. You can develop these attitudes, because you know that it will lead you towards enlightenment. That’s it. So, no problem. There is one famous Kagyü lama, after Milarepa; I’m not sure of his name right now, but he said: 1) when the guru beats the disciple, this is a great initiation; great blessings come from that beating, and 2) if there is a need for obstacles to be eliminated, then there is wrathful scolding. Just think the wrathful scolding eliminates obstacles, and 3) ...not sure. But that’s enough; just concentrate on these two. That’s enough for you. [See Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, p. 262.]

One of the Buddha’s disciples was a monk who didn’t listen to the Buddha’s instruction. He doubted the Buddha and thought it was not good for his teacher to eat sugar, so he didn’t give him the sugar and the teacher died. I heard something like that. This story is very important. It’s really helpful to think about that meaning again and again. [Note: Rinpoche explains more about this story here.]