My very dear one,
Thank you for your hard work. Regarding your message, this is what I think: According to what the Buddha has said, the way you are thinking is silly. Most people disrobe because they have problems of strong desire or their vows have degenerated, but in your case that heavy problem doesn't exist. Just because you have a lot of work isn't a reason or an excuse to disrobe. In fact, to consider doing something like that in this life is a most foolish thought.

In the lamrim, it is mentioned that one should keep one’s vows at the risk of losing one’s life. You can see what this means. This shows clearly the value of living according to the vows. You can understand from it how important it is to keep one’s vows. It is saying that even if you have to give up your life, that is OK. It is better to give up your life than to give up your vows and to live on. As a person living according to pure vows, even if you have to die, or someone wants to kill you, there is no danger thanks to your living in those pure vows. If you are killed, you take a human rebirth. You take a young body to practice the Dharma and to continue your Dharma training.

It is said by Lama Tsongkhapa that the best practitioner of tantra is a fully ordained person, because keeping the pratimoksa vows is the best base for keeping the bodhisattva vows purely, and therefor the best base for keeping the tantric vows. An analogy is given in the texts that the pratimoksha vows are like the container, the bodhisattva vows are like the water, and tantric vows are like the reflection in the water.

Buddha said in the King of Concentration Sutra that if we compare the merit of someone who with a devotional mind offers food, drink, umbrellas, flags, and garlands of lights equal to the number of grains of sand in the river Ganges and makes that offering to buddhas equaling a million times a thousand million to the merit of someone who keeps one precept for one day and night in a time like now, a time in which the teachings of the One Gone to Bliss (Buddha) have degenerated, the merit of the latter is far greater.

So, now I leave the decision in your hands. So far I only know of one student who disrobed not for reasons of desire but because they were attached to wearing lay clothes. This is not the same as your case, but there is some similarity.

You are able to use your knowledge to help me and His Holiness the Dalai Lama and people in prison, so that is very, very great.

With much love and prayer...