Relationship Break-Up

Relationship Break-Up

Date Posted:
August 2009

Rinpoche asked his assistant about a student who created beautiful prayer wheels and wanted to send that person a gift. Rinpoche asked whether the student would make any more prayer wheels, and was told that it might take a while, because the student was in the middle of a relationship break-up and had no access to his tools. Rinpoche then sent the following letter. Rinpoche's letter and the student’s response are below.

My very dear one,
Hi, I think you are having a great realization of life. May I tell you little bit about this, how it is a great realization, a discovery—actually you are on the discovery channel. This helps you to realize how samsara is in the nature of suffering, the three types of suffering and the six types of suffering. There is nothing definite in samsara and you can never get satisfaction from samsaric pleasures, perfections, enjoyments, materials, or friends.

This realization becomes the cause for generating renunciation; it becomes the basis for generating great compassion; it becomes the basis for bodhicitta and for achieving the entire Mahayana path. Because this higher path has skies of qualities, you can achieve enlightenment, then you can enlighten all suffering beings, and before that you can liberate them from samsaric suffering.

Now you can see how all sentient beings’ happiness, including great enlightenment, comes from this root that you are discovering. WOW! I was saying how it is so positive, it is incredible. It is an extremely important discovery in your life. It is a very important education, something very precious that you need, that we need. Now there is only great joy. You can see how she is most incredibly kind, giving you enlightenment.

OK, I must stop here, right?

With big love and prayer,
Lama Zopa

Student's Response

Dearest Rinpoche,
Thank you for sending me the best “I-hear-you’re-going-through-a-bad-break-up” card ever written. The gifts you sent and your encouragement have been such perfect medicine. Looking at the two sweetheart skeletons on the card you sent gives me great relief, somehow, and they are my new reminders of everything you said about this break-up being the precious root of the great realization discovery! You reminded me of my friend’s incredible kindness in helping me toward renunciation and the entire Mahayana path. I really wish for this break-up to be the cause for the very same in her, too.

Even though it’s been a very painful time, I know that there was no other way for my prayers to be answered. My prayer is that everything supports my mind in turning toward benefiting others.

Rinpoche, please live a very long time. I ask for your blessing that I may come to know very soon what it means to rely on the guru in every moment, and that all these distractions transform into meaningful activity.

With so much love and thanks.