My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
Thank you very much for your kind emails and updates. I was very happy to receive them.
You asked which deity you have the strongest connection with. The purpose of practicing Highest Yoga Tantra is to achieve enlightenment as quickly as possible in order to liberate sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric sufferings and bring them to enlightenment in the shortest possible time. When your mind is ready, you can take the initiations when available and train your mind in the practice of the generation stage.
The reason for taking Highest Yoga Tantra initiations and doing the practice is that this is the quickest way to achieve enlightenment in this life for yourself and then to be able to free the numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric suffering and bring them to enlightenment quickest.
According to my observation your main deities are Tara Cittamani and Most Secret Hayagriva.
Whichever deity you have the strongest feeling toward is your main deity, but you can take both initiations and do both retreats if you want to. Choose one deity to be in oneness with day and night in order to quickly achieve enlightenment, to enlighten sentient beings, to free the numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric sufferings and bring them to buddhahood.
Regarding the obstacles you have been experiencing, one thing I am wondering is whether your bed is facing the toilet door. If it is facing like that, then you can change it; you shouldn’t stretch out toward it. There was one student whose bed was stretched toward the toilet, his legs stretched toward the bathroom door, then he had a lot of obstacles and lost everything, his whole business.
It seems feng shui is quite proven, so at least it should be considered. It seems to me there is a little bit to do with your house, the situation, so if you know someone who can do correct feng shui, they can check it. But not just anyone, someone good. This is just a suggestion.
It comes out very good if you can read the Golden Light Sutra with bodhicitta motivation for the benefit of all beings and then by the way it benefits you. Whatever you can do, you should do that. You can read a little each day and just continue going through the text in that way.
You need to wear the protection amulet called Liberation from Bondage of Body, Speech and Mind. I can send this to you.
There is one practice you should do called Eliminating Vices [or Removing All Defilements] or in Tibetan Nyepa Kunsel. Do that as much as you can.
You need two pujas to be done:
- She nyin dü dog
- Mamo trü kang
These two pujas need to be done by the monastery in Boudha that has the special Milarepa statue in it. The statue was made by Rechungpa and the monastery .is called Chokor Milarepa temple. Request this monastery to do both pujas for you.
If you can, contact Kopan Monastery and explain that I am advising these two pujas and for them to be done specifically at that monastery. You need to give your name so they can dedicate for you—for the obstacles to be removed and for you to quickly actualize bodhicitta and become enlightened as quickly as possible for all sentient beings.
This is very, very, very important: are you doing the daily motivation I put together? [The Method to Transform a Suffering Life into Happiness (Including Enlightenment)] If not, please start now.
As much as possible try to use the sufferings, obstacles and difficulties on the path to enlightenment. Any problem that we have, we can think like this, as Kadampa Geshe Khamlungpa, one ancient meditator, said:
This present experience of suffering
(You can relate this to the obstacles you are experiencing)
Finishes our past negative karma.
This is the advantage and in the future there will be great happiness.
Therefore, meditate and rejoice in this suffering.
This is using our suffering in the path to enlightenment, with bodhicitta, so then our life will be like the sun shining in the world. From the sun shining, human beings enjoy, animals enjoy, insects enjoy, plants grow, etc. So like that, we have more and more happiness, greater and greater, then we go to enlightenment.
The great yogi Gotsangpa said:
By my experiencing this sickness
(He said sickness, but it can be any problem)
May all the sentient beings be free from sickness collected from beginningless rebirths
(Or you can say sickness, pain, spirit possession, negative karma and all the defilements)
And may they achieve enlightenment immediately.
You can recite this verse in the same way that you recite OM MANI PADME HUM, like on a mala. You can recite this over and over, like this. That means whatever problems you are experiencing you use for the benefit of all sentient beings, for all sentient beings to cease their suffering quickly and achieve enlightenment.
Then it is fantastic. This much you can do, then you collect skies of merit each time you think this. It is unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable.
Please try this as much as you can. I am also making prayers. As much as possible live your life with the thought of benefiting all sentient beings in every action you do—walking, eating, sitting, sleeping, etc. This makes your life most meaningful.
With much love and prayers ...