Student: About 15 years ago, I did the lam-rim course at Kopan Monastery and took some lay vows from you. A couple of years after that, I decided that these lay vows were not the right thing for me and I asked you to take them back. At the time you refused and told me to try harder, and that if I still wanted to give them back later, then you would accept. I have tried this for 15 years and I really think they are not the right thing for me. Rules just make me more neurotic. I can make better decisions by focusing on motivation and the characteristics of the situation rather than trying to blindly follow a set of rules. I know these vows work for your students, but that is not my path. Please take these vows back, I really don't want them.

Rinpoche's Response

My dear Michael,
It’s unbelievable that you tried this long to keep the vows. This means you are a very good student. You tried very seriously and I highly appreciate that, thank you. I should take you to the moon for a vacation in appreciation of the effort you made.

I understand what you are saying. Of course, looking for the highest happiness, long-lasting happiness, is looking for the happiness of every sentient being. The best life is living with the thought to benefit others, then you have a good future.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Lama Zopa

PS. Whether I have put you in prison or not depends on your understanding of Dharma. It depends mainly on your motivation. Having a samsaric motivation, seeking happiness for this life and then taking the vows may not even be virtue.