My most dear, most kind, most precious, wish-fulfilling one,
How are you? I hope you are healthy now. Thank you very much for your kind letter, explaining and confessing all the mistakes.

That’s extremely good, feeling regret. That is the most important thing. The stronger the regret, the stronger the vows you are able to make to not do that again. Regret, which is one of the four opponent powers, is needed to purify the negative karma collected from beginningless rebirths.

The four powers or remedies are:

1. The power of reliance. By relying on and taking refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, the negative karma collected with Buddha, Dharma and Sangha gets purified. And by generating bodhicitta, the negative karma collected with sentient beings is purified.
2. The power of repentance [regret], by reflecting on the shortcomings of negative karma.
3. The power of always enjoying the remedy, by reciting mantras like Vajrasattva or prostrations to the Thirty-five Buddhas, those things.
4. The power of resolve, determining at the end to not repeat that negativity.

From those powers, the power of regret is the most important one. By having strong regret, that itself is purifying. This is the usefulness of regret—regretting the negative karma.

If you regret good karma, of course that probably causes harm and it might create the cause to not experience good karma. But having regret for negative karma is very, very good.

It is said in the teachings of the Buddha:

Anyone who was careless in the past,
Then later they become careful,
By doing that, the result will be like the shining moon without clouds, beautiful.
Like the Joyful One, the One Wearing a Finger Garland,
The One Who Is Seeing and the One Making Happiness.¹

This is what is said in the sutra.

The commentary by Aryadeva says this:

Any capable being who in the past was controlled by delusion or evil friends, who committed nonvirtue and became careless, but in the later life, they meet the Dharma and collect virtue and become careful by voluntarily doing the practices, bearing hardships and giving up the negative karma—abandoning it and practicing virtuous karma—that person is like the shining moon, free from the obscuration of the clouds, so beautiful.

There are examples of four sentient beings [who practiced like this]. The Joyful One is Guru Shakyamuni’s younger brother, Nanda.² He was somebody who had much attachment and he could not be separated from his wife for even one second. Then he met the Buddha, who had come to his home for alms. Nanda thought he would just offer the food in the Buddha’s begging bowl and then the Buddha would leave, but as he was holding the food out to offer it, the Buddha turned and walked away, so Nanda had to follow the Buddha with the food.

He ran after the Buddha carrying the food to offer him, but no matter how much he ran, he could not catch Buddha. Finally, he reached Buddha’s monastery and Buddha asked him to become monk. Then his head was being shaved by Ananda, but he didn’t want it all shaved, so half his head was shaved and half wasn’t. He didn’t want to shave all his head, but finally he shaved it all.

Nanda wanted to go with the Buddha on alms round, but even though there was nobody there stopping him, he could not come out from the monastery. As he tried to open one door, another door closed and when he went to open that one, the door he had just opened closed. It went on and on like this. This is due to the Buddha’s blessing; the Buddha was actually doing this; it was Buddha’s action. Otherwise, Nanda would leave from the monastery and not come back.

One time Nanda was able to leave the monastery and then the Buddha came back when he was out of the monastery. As the Buddha came up, Nanda hid under a tree, but as the Buddha approached him all the branches of the tree stood up, so the Buddha could see him very clearly, even though he was trying to hide. Then after that he was ordained. The conclusion was that by meeting Buddha, he was ordained.

Even after ordination Nanda was still thinking day and night about his wife, so that is not virtue. Then Buddha showed him the dangers of the hell realms [that could result from] lay life, from being attached to his wife and living with her. Buddha directly showed him this and he became so scared. 

Then Buddha let Nanda meditate on the path and he achieved arhatship. As Buddha predicted, Nanda became the supreme one among the disciples of the Lesser Vehicle Path, the hearers, listeners. He was the one who was able to abstain the sense doors from nonvirtue; he was the supreme disciple in that.

There is a story about the One Wearing a Finger Garland [Angulimala]. He was a Brahmin child and a very foolish one. The abbot advised him that if he could kill 1,000 people, then make a garland with all those people’s fingers and wear that, it would become holy Dharma.

So Angulimala got the wrong advice, which is not Dharma. He killed 999 people; there was only one missing, the rest he had killed. There was one missing and he decided to kill his mother, but the Buddha appeared when he was thinking about this. He tried to follow the Buddha, but even though the Buddha was walking slowly, Angulimala could not catch up to him. Then he was subdued by Buddha and he got ordained. He renounced lay life, meditated on the path and achieved arhatship.

There is also the One Who Is Seeing [Ajatashatru, aka Darshaka], who always harmed others.³ He met an evil friend, Devadatta, and then he killed his Buddhist father [King Bimbisara]. He collected many negative karmas like this, but later he became devoted to Buddha and became free from the results of that negative karma. Then the Buddha predicted that among his disciples, the One Who Is Seeing had the most devotion.

The next person is the One Making Happiness [Udayana]. He always went to sleep with other women, and when his mother tried to stop him, he killed her. He recognized that he had created the very heavy negative karma without break, so he took ordination, renouncing the householder’s life. At the monastery where he lived, all the Sangha discovered what he had done and kicked him out of the monastery. Then he went to an outlying place where he built a temple and lived there. By depending on that, he gathered many other bhikshus there and became their leader, guiding them well. They abided in their vows and served him.

After he died, he was born in hell, but it was just like a stone thrown at a rock. Just as a stone touches the rock for a very short time, he was born in hell for that duration. This was due to the ripened aspects of the heavy negative karma without break that he had previously committed. After that, from hell he was reborn in the sura realm and then in front of the Buddha he achieved the result of continually entering (the Lesser Vehicle path of stream-enterer).

These four people had all created very heavy negative karma but in the end they achieved arhatship and they became free from samara, so there was a good result in the end.

Therefore, definitely you can purify. You explained to me the greatest purification. There is also purification from working for the center, working for sentient beings, the teachings of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha.

For example, working for the center is following the guru’s wishes or the guru’s advice. With your whole heart fulfilling the guru’s wishes and advice; with your whole heart working for the center, no matter how difficult it is. That creates purification and it is fulfilling the guru’s wishes and advice. So that is most powerful, most powerful. Whatever pleases the guru is the most powerful thing.

The other thing is doing self-initiation if you have done a Highest Yoga Tantra retreat. Also doing tsog offering is a very powerful way to purify degenerate vows. If you have not done a Highest Yoga Tantra retreat, then doing tsog offering is very powerful purification.

Every day you can do Vajrasattva practice and recite the mantra. Or if you can, do the retreat with 100,000, 200,000, 400,000 or 500,000 recitations of Vajrasattva mantra or whatever is needed. There are also other retreats.

In your everyday life you can do Vajrasattva practice and recite the names of the Thirty-five Buddhas—this is so powerful. By reciting the Thirty-five Buddhas’ names with prostrations, this is great purification. Lama Tsongkhapa recited the names of the Thirty-five Buddhas 700,000 times and then had rainfalls of realizations. So do the Thirty-five Buddhas practice every day, reciting the names and if possible, prostrating. Vajrasattva is also very important, so whatever you can do is very good.

You don’t need to worry; you can enjoy the life with bodhicitta. If you can, read many lamrim books; try to study one lamrim text a few times from beginning to end.

Also try to live your life with a good heart, and, if possible, with bodhicitta. Think, “The purpose of my life is not only to be free from suffering and be happy myself, but to free numberless sentient beings from the oceans of samsaric sufferings and bring them to enlightenment. Therefore I must achieve enlightenment. Therefore I will do this.”

Try to live your life for sentient beings, with bodhicitta, with a good heart. This is so important, then you collect virtue all the time, as much as possible. Then your life becomes so meaningful day and night.

Even sleeping is done for sentient beings—think it is medicine, so it continuously helps the sentient beings. This is how you practice Dharma. There is sleeping yoga and you can get the practice if you want it. You can go to bed while reciting the mantra to recognize the clear light of sleep. Later there will be a book on how to do all your daily actions mindfully with bodhicitta.

When you are close to death you can use the book How to Enjoy Death and practice the five powers near the time of death. You should read that now, to get familiar with it, then you can die with that [understanding] and with bodhicitta, so you can die for sentient beings.

Goodbye and good luck!

With much love and prayers ...

Notes

¹ “Those who formerly were careless / But then took heed are beautiful and fair / As is the moon emerging from the clouds / Like Nanda, Angulimala, Darshaka, Udayana.” – Nagarjuna’s Letter to a Friend, Verse 14, translated by Padmakara Translation Group, Snow Lion Publications, 2005. [Return to text]

² See The Sutra of Nanda’s Going Forth, at 84000.co. [Return to text]

³ See the sutra Eliminating Ajātaśatru’s Remorse, at 84000.co. [Return to text]