Perhaps some people has difficult. The force energy of ego is coming gross levels, and better we do, perhaps three times, mantra of Lord Buddha. That time the mantra is inner sound, therefore we do also reciting, and at the same time the mantra sound is vibrating into your heart; you feel. So the force energy is digested, and control. The connotation of this mantra what we are going to do is “Control, great control, greatest control.” We going say three times, but after the three times we stop, and the same time you listening that inner sound into you heart.
TADYATHA OM MUNÉ MUNÉ MAHAMUNAYÉ SOHA
TADYATHA OM MUNÉ MUNÉ MAHAMUNAYÉ SOHA
TADYATHA OM MUNÉ MUNÉ MAHAMUNAYÉ SOHA [silence]
When you realize powerful force energy of ego coming and going, with your own experience, you can realize besides this physical body, another character mind is existent. You realize. [silence]
It is so good, instead of running with fear, when the force energy of ego is coming, instead of fear, with wise mind can face ego’s problems. It’s so wise. The weak wisdom, the narrow weak mind, don’t like face, when the psychological ego’s problems comes. [silence]
Through your own experience, introspective knowledge-wisdom investigating how the ego functioning, then ego disappear. That produce encouragement, and powerfully possibility to discover egolessness nature, human basic nature of human mind. You can see possibility, although you didn’t receive that realization experience real, but there is small experience. Through this logic, you can see possibility. And you can see, you have intelligent wisdom ability, rather than your nature is hopeless nature. You can see, isn’t it ? So, so worthwhile. Our mind is normally, basically weak; we couldn’t see possibility, you can reach such eternal peaceful realization. Even you couldn’t think about. But the small, your own experience this time, that is so logical; with your own experience you can see possibility, have brave mind and with encouragement, how the human possibility is. It is not the Lama’s power or wisdom; it is your wisdom, your mind power. It is small experience.
Normally often we use words of “ego, ego,” but we don’t realize psychological aspect mental attitude of ego. Although we use still, say “ego, ego,” we don’t realize. We interpreted ego is sort of physical thing. So necessary real discover is the mental thing. It’s so worthwhile. Such short time, one time, to looking realization, egolessness. That attitude makes you distinguished from the animal.
Otherwise, what difference? Animal enjoy sense world and doing things his ability, and he knows who gives food and he likes, he love; and he beat him, he don’t like, and same thing as we are. Isn’t it? What different? So you realize. Maybe you think, “Ho, I can do, have, sort of intellectual thinking and writing, and I make money and live life.” Something like that. And, perhaps, to enjoyment, to looking themselves their attachment ego, and, even the rats, mouse they can do. They collect, they collect their food, bigger than themselves.
Look at the hon [bee], he makes honey. Honey is bigger, he collecting, than him. His collection honey is, if he can eat, maybe, almost one year his collection is maybe, a couple years, maybe five hundred years he can last. But his life is too short, still. You can see, isn’t it? Isn’t it? So, what difference, hon, the animal hon, who make honey, and such we are human being having intelligence, if the mind, the attitude, it is not different, only for living sense pleasure, it is the same thing. Perhaps hon is more intelligent. They make their life is short, and they make collection their pleasure such powerful. They make long time, although they die soon.
So, such precious human body, having intelligence, and intelligent sense perception and everything together, have ability and searching inner nature, and to release all the mental defilement problem which is come from ego, it’s so worthwhile, it’s so important. Since we born, up to now, we did so many things by the ego. And action is so transitory, so small pleasure. If you compare.
So therefore, do not think, “My mind is so much ego’s functioning, I am too bad.” Do not think, do not put yourself down. Happy; realize such things.
Realizing mind is only solution to release ego, with your own effort, so worthwhile. So many years, years, ages, ages, only build up ego. And with hallucinated ego’s projection sense world, and running, running, running, running, running. And with lost mind. And the one time recognize, just flash; so worthwhile. And putting effort, energy, is so worthwhile, so worthwhile. Do not think without your own effort, without your own wisdom functioning, can stop the schizophrenic mental problems, which is the force energy of ego; is impossible. Mind (?) is hopeless. You know…
Lama don’t believe Lama can stop your problems without your own effort, action. Dreaming. One who has that attitude is misbelieving, misconception. “God do for me everything. Buddha do everything for me. I just wait.” That’s not true! “I do nothing.” That’s not true! You did everything, so that comes now experience, powerfully. You can see now, isn’t it? One session, you can see. With your own experience.
What Lama want is, Lama want wise human being, wise human being, wise human being, rather than too sensitive ego’s force energy occupying. Lama want, end of the meditation, “This is my own meditation course, given by my own wisdom.” If you feel that way, so worthwhile. Otherwise, “Tibetan lama give meditation course; I went.” Ego trip. That also ego trip. What purpose? Your old habit, schizophrenic mind attitude not changing still. Then what meditation? Lord Buddha enlightened already, with his own effort, with his own wisdom, he liberated from the schizophrenic mind. But still we are agitated condition. So you can see, the realization is so individual, according individual mind, effort and wisdom. So therefore, realization is so personal. From this morning up to now, you people, everybody has different experience, although try (you explain) you meditate as Lama explains. The different experience is the individual level of the individual mind.
If you think you have so many things to do in your house, and friends, family, “Oh, so much to do,” therefore difficult to sitting, that means you caught, your mind, with that. Since you were born up to now, this way finished, and you going die now, from now; and that way end up with nothingness, isn’t it! How you finishing, that is? The materialistic life, and work is accumulated, and coming after, after another, another, another, another. There no thing you finished, “OK, now I’m OK, I meditate, I sit,” there no time.
You can see, the occupied ego’s energy in your mind is like somebody is injection, every minute, giving injection in your body. Such so uncomfortably, isn’t it? It’s the same thing; same thing. Just like that. So you realize. So therefore, so important to release attachment ego. When you release that, you gaining everlastingly joyful realization, inner freedom, inner liberation, or nirvana—doesn’t matter words.
By realize such agitated condition, ego’s department, or office, Milarepa, he escaped on the mountain. And he eat only grass and stay on the mountain, like animal. His mind is much more happy, much more pleasure. We eat today three meals, still we think, “Oh, I try today too much ascetic life!” [Lama laughs] He putting we such ascetic life as he did, “That not fair,” you think, maybe; ego think, “That’s not fair; that is his trip. We don’t want that kind of, because all supermarket is so much food. Who going eat?” Maybe you worry. Don’t worry supermarket! Even you stay on the mountain, supermarket comes near you [laughter].
If one is searching, seeking, investigating reality inner nature, when the problem comes, helpful; instead of hurt, helpful. It becomes wisdom. It gives more energy; it gives more realization. Negative, it becomes wisdom. And when the negative comes, learning; truly learning. It’s helpful.
Like Milarepa, Milarepa. When he studied with his guru, Marpa, long time, long time, many, many years stay with his teacher. After the teacher Marpa sent back him, “Go such, such place, mountain, to see your home,” and explained “Such, such things going happen,” and he went, and he come back wherever he born place. Wherever he born place, house is, no one living. Inside the house is animal house; birds, things like that. For him, seems, first time maybe he shocked, maybe. For him, that all becomes real teaching. That is so natural, so natural. And around family, no one can go, they afraid Milarepa’s family house. Even mother dead, no one can go, because very famous, Milarepa, when he make black magic. Everybody thinks if they go, Milarepa make black magic and they destroy, they think. So no one did go. Even when coming back home, he ask somebody, “Oh, something heard,” something like that, and they told, “There is such, such, such house, but house is something, something, and no one live now, and there is Milarepa, such, such man, and he is there and he make black magic, and now all the neighbors is cannot go to this place; and everybody afraid.” But that is him! No one knows he is.
When he heard that all, he learning that time. He sees more reality. Then slowly, slowly he went his house. And so empty. No-one touch. All things is there as mummy had, because cannot touch, because they afraid with Milarepa. He make black magic. No-one touch his things. And although everybody, the mummy died long time, and then go in his house and some mud, and mud with a little bit bones, and he pick up, and that was his mummy’s bones. He only see mummy’s bone. And for him, that is great teaching, by seeing nature. He really see impermanent nature, clearly. He don’t need somebody say “impermanent nature” to show him. He clearly understand.
You see now. The ego’s interpretation and this sense-world is always, we think, without observing, we think solidity. Sort of self existent, hard thing, we see. But one who know impermanent nature, one can see, even minute, hundred times changing, changing, changing, automatically. As you experience when you watching your mind, your mind feeling and sensation, expression is automatically changing. You can see, isn’t it? That same thing, internal world, the mind changing, changing, that expression or reality is similarity impermanent levels, same thing even outside world.
So, actually, watching internal world is more interesting, more worthwhile, than movie. Movie you see one time, second time you boring your mind, isn’t it? If your mind is skillfully, the mindful wisdom watching in your mind, then no boring. All the time, all the time, every minute, it’s a new experience. It’s constantly movement. So remarkable experience. [silence]
So, you can see, the ego’s concepts each moment contacting with the object, making different imprint in your mind, and that imprint is reacting again, again, again, that is we call karma. Imprinting is cause, effect is reaction. That is karma. Therefore, we say, karma is so powerful. Why? Because impression imprint of previous experience, ego’s activity, is so powerful. So strong.
The energy of ego, ego’s energy, ego’s force, is walk into your mind without your permission, although you don’t want. If somebody is walk in your house without knock, comes rushly, and you going freak out, isn’t it? Isn’t it? You going freak out with that man. “Even you don’t knock, why you come? What is?” you going to say. Even your closest friend comes without knock, something, open, rushly comes, and you think, “Oh!…,” you know what you say. You know; I don’t need to tell you. But isn’t so silly, such ego’s force energy, sort of negative force energy, walk in your mind or in your brain, instead of freak out, you think, maybe, “You welcome!” You going to say, “How are you ego? Please welcome. Have cup of tea; have chocolate!” [Pause.]
So, making ego pleasing, you pray to the ego, same time. So, giving tea, and chocolate, and pray, every energy is you dedicated to the ego. What ego give you? What ego give you is all pollution in your mind. And you cannot breathe in your mind, with so bad smell in your mind.
So since now, instead of ego force energy welcome, as I told you, first session today, that you’re like police guard, and pointing mindful and wisdom, and penetratedly watching, waiting for ego coming. And when come, instead of welcome, looking big, big, big eye, wisdom eye, bigger than your head, you watching. When you watching wisdom big eye, ego itself disappear, remember?
So, you check up. The today mind is how to related yesterday experience of the ego’s game. Checking, observing: how linked? And same thing, last week; same thing, last month, you go through; and same thing, last year. Through your age, all through your life, you check up, how attachment ego identified, the big eye (”I”?), how identify, such different age, and perceiving different view, which is projection of ego mind.
If your mind is no connected with last year ego, there no reason uncontrollably coming memory experience. Therefore, you check up how the relate mind continuity. Even small, when you was child in mother’s womb, you check up. Forgetting previous experience and clinging too much in future is, is not realistic. Forgetting past and present and so much clinging, clinging in the future, is not realistic. At least, unless you have telepathic power, next year you definitely live life, who knows? You cannot make insurance future. How? Car insurance! Maybe you think, “Oh! we have car insurance! And we have insurance aeroplane fly!” How can they guarantee your life is safe? Impossible. I’m sure you know, that’s so superficial guarantee. Isn’t it? And dying people, does not necessarily something sick. You know. Minute well, and minute drink cup of tea and life is disappear. You know; we all know, isn’t it. We are not young baby. We all know. We see. We experience.
You can see, enough checking, when you enough checking, you can see, even you was mother’s womb, tiny, so much experience ego and attachment. So you check up that also. Not come itself. It need another matter. There is no self-existent without dependent another matter, existent, such conscious or mind or ego or soul. There’s no permanent soul, or ego and attachment or mind or you or physically or mentally, impossible! Wrong conception. Some Hindus religions think, and also, soul is permanent. And some Christian religions think also, soul is permanent. It’s wrong conception. Misconception. No understanding, characteristic nature of soul. “Impermanent” meaning or connotation is changing, changing. That’s all. How can you explain, without changing, the permanent soul? Impossible, there is. If you accept permanent soul, then permanent human being. Impossible, permanent human being. Who is permanent human being?
So, tonight I would like you check up all the your experience, mind perceiving sense world, from your mother’s womb up to now, different interpretation, different feeling. You check up. It’s so much helpful to integrate life rather than disorder. Mind, too. So, but first beginning is you concentrate; concentrate on breathing movement and feeling. One-pointedness. First beginning, anytime, first beginning is the checking. First beginning, you putting your mind, this is checking. But when you putting one-pointedness, sort of, sticking, or mind putting in one object picking, sort of, and concentrating, that, perhaps we call Sanskrit “samadhi.” Maybe English call one-pointedness. Stay there. When the point somehow you reach, one point, stay there as much possible. When the mind beginning distracted, another thought comes, then you checking through all the way.
I think this time OK, I think better stop. And next session you meditate. Perhaps next session, short time maybe, some question-answer, I think good. I think Dr. Nick going maybe question-answer. It’s very good. You just open. Whatever you think, you just say; what I’m thinking, just say. No expectation. Just say. Don’t worry, “Perhaps I give bad question.” Don’t worry. “Perhaps Dr. Nick, he freak out, he don’t like my question.” Don’t worry. That I can guarantee, he don’t worry about. You understand. He learned that already. You understand. So whatever you want say, you just say. Or you agree or you disagree, or you say, just say. So good, open. Worthwhile dear. Nothing. Worthwhile. We discussing is, we not for creating something material trip. Not material trip. We searching, you understand, which is the best thing for the human mind. And we searching not for yourself; for everybody. So, and sometimes also necessary, when you discuss, sometimes we know, we think we know, and when the discussing each other, coming different expression, makes so much helpful. This is sort of, this discussion is psychotherapy OK? Psychotherapy. So, we working together and we trying to solve the problem and help each other. That’s why very useful, each other compassion. OK? Your giving question to Nick is you have compassion to Nick. His misconception is destroy. So worthwhile. Very good. Yeah, sure. Of course, I mean, we expecting we have misconception, you understand. So therefore, you don’t worry. Good. Very good. Thank you so much. OK. Thank you. OK. Thank you.