Wanting to Be Ordained

Wanting to Be Ordained

Date Posted:
November 2005

Rinpoche gave the following advice to a student who had a strong wish to get ordained and also to do long-term retreat, but was in a relationship and was concerned about hurting him by leaving. She had tried to ease the relationship to a close, but this had only caused him to cling to her more. She wrote explaining this situation and asking Rinpoche’s advice about retreat.

Do retreat in Parphing in Nepal if you can find a place. You can become a nun immediately or maybe after five years, in the fifth year. Regarding your partner, maybe his mind will be happier without you. This is one choice.

In any case, pray for your life to become most beneficial for sentient beings, who are so many. That is the way you should pray all the time, and he should do the same. You are just one person. If you are happy, that is nothing compared to the happiness of other sentient beings. Just pray like that. If you are unable to make a decision now, then pray all the time like that. This helps to create the conditions to be able to be most beneficial.

In order for your partner not to get upset, since he needs somebody in his life, you can pray for him to find a companion quickly. Meeting a companion can make his life most meaningful, by making it most beneficial for sentient beings. Pray like that.

You should wish that he finds a partner not just for the comfort and enjoyment of the samsaric mind but to help him to make his life most beneficial. What brings peace, happiness, and fulfillment in a relationship is when couples think of others. The husband thinks of making the wife’s life most beneficial, and the wife of making the husband’s most beneficial. That’s how their attitudes should be. Regarding living together, if you don’t have the attitude of benefiting others, if it’s just for happiness for oneself, just the happiness of this life, many problems can arise: instability, dissatisfaction, depression, and guilt. All those things come from thinking just of this life.