student's letter

You asked me to read an article about how to transform depression into the path and also to concentrate on purification practices like confession to the Thirty-five Buddhas. I did not faithfully do them every day. However, I would like to thank you as you told me my depression and sufferings are a result of purification, of me trying to do something about Dharma.

Since I took refuge, everything in my life has gone wrong: my relationships, my health and my ability to work. I woke up each day and was fearful, wondering how I could cope with another day. However, while all these problems were manifesting, I had incredible opportunities to do retreat and to meet with a lot of holy beings who guided me personally. I also had, and still have, the opportunity to study Dharma. The most important thing, I feel, is that I am glad that I did not give up my lama.

Now after all these years of things going wrong, I suddenly realized that I am happy all these things have happened. It became so clear that everything—friends, relatives, this world and even my body—are all sufferings. I don’t think this is renunciation, but at least now I am recovered from depression and have started to reclaim my life: to eat right, to sleep right, and to start to have the energy and mind to take care of my personal household matters and work hard. Anyway, I just want to thank you and tell you that I truly am happy that I had all of these sufferings. They groomed me for who I am now.

rinpoche's response

My very dear, precious, kind, wish-fulfilling one,
Thank you very much for your kind letter and I’m so happy that you realized all the difficulties you have been through are positive.

Generally, the whole lam-rim is thought transformation, but there is thought transformation separate from the lam-rim. That thought transformation is when you utilize obstacles to practicing Dharma on the path to enlightenment—then you don’t have obstacles to practice Dharma. You use any difficulties like this for sentient beings to achieve enlightenment, not just temporary happiness and for yourself to achieve enlightenment. It’s unbelievable, most unbelievable and makes your life, and even your death, most beneficial for sentient beings. This is what we really should practice.

The Kadampa Geshe Khamlungpa said among his advices: “This present small suffering being experienced purifies past negative karma (collected from beginningless past lives.) Therefore, there will be happiness in the future. Therefore, rejoice in the suffering.” This means that experiencing suffering is very good, positive—that’s what he is saying. This is Kadampa Geshe Khamlungpa’s advice. So, all the usual complaints against you then are very positive.

Any praise, any good things are a cause for delusion to arise, so that’s no good and the opposite to renunciation. The bodhisattva Thogme Zangpo has advised that whether you experience good or whether you experience bad, it’s all to use for enlightenment. It all depends on which label you chose to give. If you give a bad label to everything, everything becomes bad, becomes lung. So it’s very, very, very good that you took everything, that you understood everything as a way to achieve enlightenment. The way you think helps the mind to be more satisfied; everything brings peace of mind; everything becomes Dharma. That’s very wise; that’s real wise. Even for top political people in the world, I don’t think they know this. Take it as positive.

Thank you very much. Have a good life.

With much love and prayers...