Caring for One’s Mother

Caring for One’s Mother

Date Posted:
July 2012

A student was doing hundreds of nyung näs, but his mother got sick and he asked Rinpoche for advice on what to do.

My dear one,
Thank you very much for your letter. In my observation it came out best for you to join the 108 nyung näs at Vajra Yogini Institute led by Ven. Charles. I said I will sponsor ten of these people who are doing 100 nyung-näs. It came out much better for you to do the nyung näs than to stay where you are now. But if your mother has a big problem and needs your help very much, then of course you can go to help.

You are thinking only about this life’s mother, but she has been your mother numberless times since beginningless rebirth, as well as for every other sentient being.

Helping the mother, serving the mother, collects a lot of merit, good karma. In the lam-rim there are four outlines mentioned to collect merits: the power of attitude, the power of the body living in the vows/ordination, the power of the object and the power of the causative phenomena. So therefore the power of the object starts with the parents of this life. From there, after that, Sangha are a more powerful object with whom one collects much great merit, then arhats. After numberless arhats, then serving one bodhisattva collects unbelievable merit. After numberless bodhisattvas, then serving one buddha collects much greater merit. After numberless buddhas, then just serving one guru even one time, whatever it is, collects much greater merit. So, serving the mother collects unbelievable merits.

My guru, His Holiness Zong Rinpoche, was ex-abbot of Ganden Shartse monastery in Tibet, that had many thousands of monks. He was like Nagarjuna and Asanga, like those great pandits of the past. When his parents came to Lhasa from Kham and he was with them. That time I’m not sure whether he was abbot or not, but he was a great lama— extremely knowledgeable and highly respected by all the great monasteries. He knew, of course, how important it is to serve the parents, who are so kind. His purpose for service was more the kindness of the parents than the merit. He was a great lama, but he wanted even to clean his parents’ house and to do everything for them, but of course he couldn’t do everything. He said in the teachings that he wanted to clean their rooms and everything.

It’s the same with this present incarnation of His Holiness Zong Rinpoche. When his mother got sick in America, he left the monastery and came to take care of her until she died. He was with her day and night, always thinking of her and how he could help. He knew when she was in pain and would stand at her bedside and rub her hand.

With much love and prayer...