As it says in the prayer: “May I be able to eliminate ordinary thinking and perception of the self.“ Ordinary perception and ordinary clinging are the two things explaining why we are in samsara. Visualizing ourselves as the deity eliminates this. Now we see people, ourselves, the place as ordinary. We perceive, cling, grasp at things as ordinary. We grasp at things with ordinary perception, which sees an impure place. We not only see it as ordinary, but we also cling to it and believe it. Even the guru or buddha manifests as ordinary, we perceive them as ordinary and we believe they are ordinary sentient beings. We see the guru and the buddha as ordinary sentient beings, although they are buddha. We not only see them as ordinary, but we cling to this thought and believe it.
We must try to purify our ordinary perception and clinging and perceive the real guru and buddha. If we don’t try to purify, then when delusion arises, because of this we create karma, seeing and believing the guru as an ordinary sentient being and seeing shortcomings in them. Because of seeing shortcomings, delusion arises, and hatred, attachment and ignorance result. We see the environment as impure, ourselves as impure, and we perceive and cling to that. Because of this, conceptions of delusion arise. If we don’t try to purify this by tantric realizations, if we can’t purify these two, then we can’t stop the preconception of delusion. If we can’t do this, then there’s no way to achieve high tantric realizations or enlightenment in one life. To obliterate our ordinary perception and clinging, we should cultivate the tantric practice, like Kriya Tantra.
First we generate ourselves as Chenrezig and believe it, having clarity and divine pride. By trying to see oneself as Chenrezig with clarity, it helps to purify ordinary perception. Not only seeing oneself clearly as Chenrezig, but also having divine pride that “I am Chenrezig” is the remedy to purify ordinary clinging that “I am this combination of flesh and bones. I am really that.”
By receiving three-colored light from the deity in front of us, we purify this ordinary body. It transforms into clear rays and then turns into voidness. This is the voidness of the self and we believe it is also the voidness of the deity. This is called meditation on the deity of emptiness. This is the first process.
Last time, I tried to discuss the nature of mind and voidness. By hearing the word “emptiness” we receive great benefit, especially for purifying obscurations. Taking steps toward a secluded area with the intention of meditating on emptiness or trying to turn all sentient beings to the ten virtuous actions both create the same merit. In the sutras it is said that to meditate on emptiness for one instant is more beneficial and creates more merit than giving our life for all sentient beings of the three realms. Meditation on emptiness for one instant accrues much more merit and purifies obscurations. Just remembering voidness for an instant tears samsara into pieces, just as when someone shells a building, smashing it into pieces. In the same way, in order to destroy samsara, which is full of suffering, the best weapon is profound voidness. By thinking of voidness for a while, it shakes the root of samsara. Like in an earth tremor, all the mountains shake. Similarly, thinking of voidness for an instant shakes the root of samsara. In the sutras, lots of benefits are told. Merely hearing a few words about voidness creates a strong karmic imprint for realization, even if we can’t have realizations now. There are many texts and sutras and treatises by Nagarjuna and others on this.
We must feel the ultimate existence or the emptiness of the self, and then feel that it is the ultimate existence or the emptiness of Chenrezig. First we must realize the voidness of the mind. Now we feel the “I” as concrete, existing on its own. We not only see it like this, but we cling to it and grasp it. We believe that “I” is solid, concrete, existing from its own accord. We not only perceive, but also cling and grasp it as inherently existing. But the existence of I as solid, inherently existing of its own accord, doesn’t exist at all. The non-existence of this I is itself the emptiness of the self.
The Ultimate Deity
The great compassion of all the buddhas appearing in the form of a deity with one thousand arms and a white complexion is Chenrezig. There is not any other Chenrezig; other than this there is no Chenrezig. There is no Chenrezig which inherently exists independent of the label and the basis of the label on which Chenrezig is imputed. The non-existence of Chenrezig other than this imputation, that is the voidness of Chenrezig. Now we have two objects—the relative Chenrezig and the ultimate Chenrezig. Thinking, meditating on that is called the meditation on the ultimate deity. This is believing that the voidness of the self and the voidness of Chenrezig are inseparable, just as water and milk can’t be separate when they’re mixed together; they are one taste.
When it says in the sadhana “Now it transforms into voidness, the body transforms into voidness,” that doesn’t mean your body disappears, or that the “I” doesn’t exist. That is not meditation on voidness. To think that the I which experiences suffering, which practices the path and achieves enlightenment does not exist is not meditation on voidness. Even if we do a lot of study on voidness, if we don’t know how to meditate or what is empty of what, our understanding is lacking. Some may think, “If my hands aren’t I and my body isn’t I, therefore, I don’t exist.” Some might feel “Since I can’t find my I, I’m getting closer to the realization of voidness.” This is not at all meditation on voidness. This way of meditation is perverted because it annihilates the conventional I which receives enlightenment and the conventional aggregates. This person isn’t trying to understand what is nonexistence, the false I, what is to be refuted, what doesn’t exist at all. They don’t understand what is to be refuted and so they refute what does exist. That meditator annihilates what really does exist, the conventional I. They might think they are meditating on voidness, but they aren’t at all. This meditation is nihilistic because it annihilates what really does exist.
This view doesn’t get us out of samsara, but causes rebirth in hell for a long time. Aryadeva said that for those who are nihilistic, believing the I doesn’t exist at all, the negative karma of that view is equal to killing one hundred million human beings. Even if a monk loses their bhikshu vows completely, it doesn’t cause as much harm as believing a nihilistic view. Losing one’s vows totally causes rebirth as a naga and isn’t as heavy as holding nihilistic views.
Innate Grasping at I
What we should be empty of is the innate grasping at I. From the moment we’re born in the womb, we have this concrete, solid grasping at I. It’s the same when we get up in the morning, we think, "I have to go somewhere.” A very strong feeling of I is there. “Although I’m cold, I have to get up.” The I appears concrete, really existing of its own accord and we grasp at it. If someone says “You’re ridiculous, you’re too self-centered,” or “You’re a thief,” automatically, spontaneously, from the depths of the heart arises this I, which exists of its own accord. If we take precepts, we think, “I’m hungry.” A very solid I is hungry. We have this belief. If someone bashes our body, anger automatically comes up, a heavy I comes up from our heart automatically.
This strong feeling of I as concretely existing has existed since birth. We haven’t been taught by our parents or at school; we have it even in the bardo. The innate I-grasping, believing in an inherently existing I of its own accord, swells up especially when we’re mistreated, abused or influenced by attachment. At those times, it goes rampant. What we have to annihilate is the object which our innate I-grasping hooks onto. It’s important to know what type of I that innate grasping at I hooks onto. It’s important to recognize which type of I that grasping believes in.
The basis of I, what I is labeled on, is the aggregates, of which there are only two: body and mind. Whether we make a big thing of I or not, it’s very simple, there are only two, body and mind. The root of samsara is ignorance of the voidness of the self, the grasping at self. What type of I does it grasp? What type of I does it hook onto? That is upon the mind and body, grasping onto some kind of I which concretely exists of its own accord. This is the object which the grasping at I hooks onto. It grasps at an I, which on the basis of the label, the body and mind, exists of its own accord without being dependent. If we’re starving, then we say, “I’m hungry.” A real I feels hungry, something black. Our grasping at I assumes a real I is suffering from starvation. If we check up and analyze this I, we find it is made up of the body, which is the combination of sperm and egg, and the consciousness, which comes from the previous birth. On the collection of these two, the term “I” is imputed.
If someone is ignorant of what a candle is, and they are told “This is a candle,” then they think “This is a candle.” The candle is a product of the word and material, termed “candle.” Candle is an imputation on wax and wick. Like this, the body is not I; it is just a collection of egg and sperm from the parents. If it were I, then the parents’ bodies should be I. Actually, neither the body nor the mind is I. The abidance of mind in this body is the basis of the label. This is imputed as I. This is I. Without our imputing mind, there is no I which exists of its own accord on the body and mind. There is no I which exists of its own accord without depending on the term imputed by our mind.
When we’ve eaten food and later the stomach is empty, the empty feeling is termed hungry. For this feeling, we say, “I’m hungry.” We impute “I’m hungry” on the feeling. If we check up, there’s no real I which is hungry. There’s no I which is hungry at that moment which doesn’t depend on the body and mind or on the imputation. If we try to find the I which doesn’t depend on the body and mind and on the imputation, there’s no way we’ll find it. When there’s contentment of the mind and stomach, on this basis we say “I’m full.” If we have worms and feel sick, then because of the body which is sick, the body which is the basis for the label I, we say, “I’m sick.” But there’s no real I which is sick at that moment.
What is real is the existing conventional I—the mere existence of I which is imputed by the mind on the body and mind which is the basis of the label. It’s clear that I depends on the term which is imputed on the body and mind. Depending on the basis of the label, the mind and body, can I exist? How is I dependent? I is dependent arising. How I has been arising is because it’s dependent on the basis of the label, body and mind, and on the mind which imputes the term and concept. Depending on these two, it arises—on the basis of the label, the mind and body, and on the term and concept which imputes it. Thus, it is dependent arising, it is void of inherent existence. As “I” is dependent arising, it is void of inherent existence.
If we have a good understanding of dependent arising, then thinking that I is dependent arising can induce an understanding of the non-inherent existence of I. If we have a good understanding of dependent arising and think I is dependent arising, this can stop the grasping at inherent existence of I. It stops the object of the grasping at inherent existence. Even if we don’t have a good intellectual understanding of the logic which establishes dependent arising, but if we do have a good understanding of what dependent arising means, just this will tear the object of grasping at inherent existence into pieces.
If you can’t study voidness extensively, you can study the mahamudra text by the First Panchen Lama, The Great Seal of Voidness. This contains examples from his own perception and there are ways to meditate explained at the end of the text.
“The objects of the six consciousnesses, whatever appears to the six consciousnesses, to recognize those objects relies on the right view of voidness.” These two lines contain the key to all meditation on voidness, it’s a composite of methods. To realize voidness, we have to know what things are empty of. We say the realization of voidness is difficult. That is because we can’t recognize what is to be refuted regarding the objects of the six senses. Because we can’t recognize what the objects appearing to the six consciousnesses are empty of, we say the realization of voidness is difficult. Whatever objects appear to the six consciousnesses, to know what exists and what doesn’t, to know what is to be refuted, is the most important factor. The essence or importance of voidness relies on recognizing how the objects of the six consciousnesses appear. This is the secret of the realization of voidness. Of the things which appear to the consciousnesses, what is to be refuted is very small, but it’s so important, like the secret key to a treasure. If we can’t recognize it, then there’s no way to realize voidness. To unknot the thread which has many knots, we must know where to start in order to loosen them. To say “Let’s burn it” is ridiculous. We must unknot it.
The most important factor is the ability to recognize what is to be refuted. This recognition is extremely difficult. To recognize this we need the background of extensive collection of merits from guru yoga and guru devotion. Without the support of extensive merits, there’s no way to recognize this. If we can properly collect merits and purify, [by practicing] guru yoga and guru devotion, then if we don’t know, there is also extensive reasoning, as explained in the texts.
Try to check up how the object of innate grasping of I appears to you. When you find it, feel I is something concrete, existing of its own accord without depending on the basis of the label, the mind and body, don’t lose it. Rather, contemplate it, thinking, “This is the false I which doesn’t exist.” Sometimes there comes a vision that you are losing. When the I that appears to you is lost, you feel the subject, yourself, is getting lost and you experience that there’s nothing to hold onto, to grasp onto. Those who are intelligent won’t be terrified of voidness, but will experience immense bliss. Those who are not intelligent, will be terrified.
After recognizing the false I, when we have the experience of voidness, we feel then that before we were ridiculous, we were stuck on something worthless. Before, we were stuck on something which seemed big, but it is worthless. When we recognize what is to be refuted, at that time all things which appear to us appear fresh, like something we’ve not seen before. It’s a different perception of things, like reaching a new country.
Lama Tsongkhapa said that to realize voidness, we should concentrate on three things:
- Collecting merits and doing purification,
- Guru yoga, seeing Manjushri and the guru as inseparable, and
- Studying texts such as mahamudra and lamrim. This includes studying by ourselves and receiving teachings.
By doing these three, we can realize voidness. If we do guru yoga, collect merits, and purify extensively, then we’ll get realizations quickly; realizations that before we thought were impossible even in a hundred years. Our receptivity to realization is almost solely dependent on faith in the guru. Without this, if we try to meditate, we can’t think, or if we hear words, they don’t have much effect. Without strong faith, more explanations are like adding butter to the leather used to wrap butter—that leather is already saturated. But if we have strong faith, even though we may not know much, it will be very beneficial and will soak into the mind, just as new leather is softened by applying just a little butter.
Before we think that the voidness of self is inseparable from the voidness of Chenrezig, try to see how the I appears to us. When it appears to exist as concrete on the body and mind, existing from its own accord, think, “That I, as it appears, doesn’t exist; not in name or term or even in the smallest atom does it exist.” Then think, “That itself is the voidness of Chenrezig.” Automatically we will start thinking that our mind is Chenrezig’s mind.
The voidness of self and the voidness of Chenrezig—that voidness itself appears as the euphony of the long mantra, like the sound of thunder in empty space. This is called meditation on the deity of sound.
Then, on a multi-petaled lotus is a moon disc, with gold sand like mercury applied on the surface. HRIH is at the center and the letters of the mantra, twinkling like sun rays, encircle the HRIH. Before, there was just the sound of the mantra. Now, it’s formed in letters that we can see, silver letters clustered in rays on the gold sand on the moon disc. In reality it is ourself and Chenrezig, although it appears as letters. This is the deity of letter.
[End of discourse]
