Family and Relationships

Lama Zopa Rinpoche receives thousands of letters every year from people seeking guidance on a variety of issues. His advice is made available here, so it may be of benefit to others.

In this section of the Online Advice Book, Rinpoche offers guidance on raising children so that their lives become meaningful. He advises parents to be clear about their purpose for having children and emphasizes the importance of teaching children to cultivate the good heart, loving kindness and compassion.

As well as general advice on bringing up children, there is specific advice for students who are pregnant or wanting to conceive, and for those who have terminated a pregnancy. This section also contains advice on repaying the kindness of our parents by caring for them when they are sick or elderly, and includes practices for family conciliation when there has been disharmony and conflict.

Many students have written to Rinpoche for guidance on relationship problems. Rinpoche advises on marriage and the karma of relationship problems that may lead to separation and divorce. We are reminded that when we find ourselves in a difficult situation, it is important to remember that our past negative karma is the cause for our present situation. Read more about karma here.

Important Note on Context and Personal Safety

This advice was given to specific individuals in particular circumstances and should be understood within its original context. It is provided for informational purposes only and may be applied at your own discretion.

Personal safety and self-care are paramount. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, coercion, or any situation that feels unsafe, please seek support from an appropriate service in your region and, where appropriate, develop a safety plan. 

If engaging with teachings or advice on this website causes distress or brings underlying issues in relation to past abuse to the surface, we recommend that you seek support from a suitably qualified professional or support service.

Nothing on this website should be understood as condoning abusive, coercive or harmful behaviour, or as discouraging individuals from seeking support, establishing appropriate boundaries, or taking steps to ensure their safety and wellbeing.

Find links to all the main topics on the Online Advice Book home page. You can also click on the links listed on the right, or go to our Teachings menu to refine your search.