In Search of the Self
Geshe Ngawang Dhargyey
|
|
|
This teaching was given at Tushita
Mahayana Meditation Centre on January 2, 1980. Edited
from an oral translation by Robert Thurman. First published
in Teachings at Tushita, edited by Nicholas Ribush
with Glenn H. Mullin, Mahayana Publications, New Delhi,
1981. Now appears in the 2005 LYWA publication Teachings
From Tibet.
|
We
all suffer; many sentient beings experience almost constant
misery. However, at present we have the time, space and ability
to think about how to get rid of all suffering—not get
over just one problem or become a little more peaceful, but
completely finish with suffering altogether.
We humans have many methods of finding happiness at our disposal
but even though we live in beautiful houses crammed full of
all kinds of stuff we are still not satisfied. That’s
because there is only one thing that can really eradicate
dissatisfaction and bring true happiness: the practice of
Dharma.
If we check within ourselves we will discover that all our
misery comes from either attachment or hatred. These, in turn,
come from an incorrect view of the self. Even at this moment
we hold the “I” to be true. In the Madhyamakavatara,
Chandrakirti stated that all emotional afflictions arise from
ignorance—misapprehension of the nature of the self.
This is the root. In order to get rid of all the branches
of suffering and prevent them from ever arising again, we
need to sever this root. In that way we can put an end to
all misery, even birth, sickness, aging and death.
The Buddha’s main teachings on eradicating ignorance
by understanding and realizing the wisdom of non-self-existence
are found in his Perfection of Wisdom (Prajnaparamita)
Sutras, and these texts are the main scriptural source for
the great sage Nagarjuna’s Six-fold Canon of Reasoning,
especially his Root Verses on Wisdom (Mulamadhyamakakarika).
Other teachings on the wisdom realizing emptiness may be found
in Aryadeva’s Four Hundred Verses; Buddhapalita’s
famous Commentary on [Nagarjuna’s] Treatise on the
Middle Way (Buddhapalita-Mulamamadhyamakavrtti);
Chandrakirti’s Clear Phrases (Prasannapada);
and the ninth chapter of Shantideva’s Guide to the
Bodhisattva’s Way of Life.
The essence of all the techniques found in these and other
scriptures for developing an understanding of the emptiness
of self-existence is the method called the “Four Essential
Points,” or the “Four Keys.” These provide
a very effective approach to emptiness. We begin by applying
these four methods of analysis to gain an understanding of
the selflessness of persons and then use them to gain an understanding
of the selflessness of phenomena.
The first essential point
The first of the four keys is called “the essential
point of ascertaining the object to be eliminated.”
We cannot realize emptiness without first knowing what it
is that things are empty of; emptiness is not just a vague
nothingness. This first point helps us understand how the
false self—the object to be refuted and eliminated—exists.
We need to recognize how we view the “I” as inherently
existent, as if it were independent of the aggregates of body
and mind. The “I” appears to be substantially
established, existent in its own right, and this mode of existence
does not appear to be imposed by our own mental projection.
The way we hold and believe the “I” to exist becomes
particularly clear when we’re angry or afraid. At such
times we should analyze how the self appears to our mind;
how our mind apprehends it. We can provoke these emotions
in meditation and, while maintaining them, use a subtle part
of our consciousness to recognize how we conceive our “I.”
In order to catch a thief we have to know who the person is
and what he or she looks like. The greatest thief of all is
our mistaken sense of self—the conception that not only
ourselves but all other phenomena as well are truly existent.
We believe that things really exist the way they appear to
our senses, as objectively established, as existing from their
own side. This, then, is what we have to know in order to
catch this great thief, who steals all our happiness and peace
of mind.
If we do not recognize this wrong conception and simply walk
around saying, “Emptiness! Emptiness!” we are
likely to fall into one of the two extremes of eternalism
or nihilism—believing either that things are inherently
existent or that nothing exists at all, thus exaggerating
or denying conventional reality.
Therefore, we must recognize the false self, the object of
refutation, before we can start actually refuting, or eliminating,
it. This is the initial step in developing an understanding
of emptiness and the foundation of realizing it. First we
must look for the false self, not selflessness. This requires
a great deal of meditation.
For our meditation on emptiness to be effective, we need
to prepare our mind by purifying negativities and accumulating
merit. The essence of purification and creation of merit is
the practice of the seven limbs of prostration, offering,
confessing, rejoicing, beseeching, requesting and dedicating.
We can also engage in preliminaries such as making 100,000
mandala offerings, Vajrasattva mantra recitations and so forth.
When we start observing how the false self—the self
we have habitually assumed to exist in persons and objects—manifests,
we soon discover that it does not exist at all. Before we
begin cultivating this awareness, our “I” seems
to really be there, very solidly, but as soon as we start
checking, we cannot find it. It disappears. If the “I”
truly did exist, the more we searched for it the more concrete
it should become…we should at least be able to find
it. If it can’t be found, how can it exist?
The second essential point
The inherently existent “I” must exist as either
one with the body and mind—that is, identical with them—or
separate from them. There is no third way in which it can
exist. This is the second of the four keys, ascertaining the
logical pervasion of the two possibilities of sameness or
difference.
We have to watch for the self-existent “I,” which
appears to be established independently, as if it were not
created by the mind. If the self does not exist as it appears,
we should not believe in it. Perhaps we think it’s someplace
else—that it will show up when we meet our guru or that
it’s floating around outside the window somewhere. But
we need to understand that there’s no third alternative.
Therefore, we have to meditate on the second key with awareness
that if this apparent “I” is neither identical
with nor separate from the five aggregates of body and mind,
there’s no way it can exist. At this point it becomes
easy for us to understand the general character of emptiness.
The third essential point
The third key is ascertaining the absence of true sameness
of the “I” and the five aggregates. Once we have
ascertained the object of refutation by meditating on emptiness
and seen how it cannot exist in a way other than as one with
the five aggregates or separate from them, we concentrate
on whether or not the self-existent “I” can
exist as one with the five aggregates.
If the “I” is the same as the aggregates, then
because there are five aggregates, there must be five continuums
of the “I” or, because the “I” is
one, the five aggregates must be an indivisible whole. We
therefore examine each aggregate to see if it is the same
as the self. We ask, “Are my self and my body the same?”
“Are my self and my feelings the same?” “Are
my self and my discriminating awareness the same?” And
so forth.
There are many different analytical procedures to show that
the concept of the self as one with the psychophysical aggregates
is wrong. I can deal with them only briefly here. For example,
if the self were a permanent entity, as self-existence implies,
destroying it would be impossible. Then, if the “I”
were the same as the body, the body could never die and the
corpse could never be burned, because this would destroy the
self. This is obviously nonsensical.
Also, the mind and body would be unchanging, because that
is the nature of a substantial self. Furthermore, if there
were a self-existent “I” identical with the body
and the mind, it would be one indistinguishable entity and
the individual designations of “my body” and “my
mind” would be incorrect.
Thus, there are many different ways we can reason and meditate
upon to arrive at the conclusion that reality and our habitual
way of perceiving things are completely different. We are
not fixed, permanent entities.
The fourth essential point
Having ascertained, as above, that the self and the aggregates
are not a true unity, we then consider whether or not our
self-existent “I” is different from and unrelated
to the aggregates. This is the fourth key, ascertaining the
absence of any true difference between the self and the aggregates.
For example, if you have a sheep, a goat and an ox, you can
find the ox by taking away the sheep and the goat. Similarly,
if the “I” existed separately from the body and
the mind, when we eliminated the body and the mind we would
be left with a third entity to represent the “I.”
But when we search outside of our body, feelings, consciousness
etc., we come up with nothing. Generations of yogis have found
that there is nothing to be found beyond the aggregates.
Once more, there are many different ways to reason when contemplating
the possibility that the self is separate from the aggregates.
If they were truly different, there would be no connection
between them. When we said, for example, “My head aches,”
the “my” would refer to something other than the
“head” (the form aggregate) and “ache”
(the feeling aggregate); it would be something that existed
somewhere else. The aggregate would hurt, not me. If the self
were truly a different thing, a true polarity apart from the
aggregates, it would be absurd to say, “My head hurts,”
“My hand hurts,” etc., as though the pain somehow
affected the self.
By performing different kinds of analysis we cultivate the
certainty that the self and the aggregates are not truly different.
Meditation on emptiness
Since these four keys contain the essential points of Nagarjuna’s
main treatises on the Middle Way, they make it easy to meditate
on emptiness.
If we meditate with the four keys to search for the self in
our body, from the top of our head to the tips of our toes,
and our aggregates of mind as well, we won’t find anything.
Thus, we will come to the realization that a fixed, unchanging
self does not exist. It’s like looking for a cow in
a certain field. We walk all around: up the hills, down the
valleys, through the trees, everywhere. Having searched the
entire area and found nothing, we arrive at the certainty
that the cow simply isn’t there. Similarly, when we
investigate the aggregates of body and mind and find nothing,
we arrive at the certainty that the self-existent “I”
simply isn’t there either. This is the understanding
of emptiness.
We then concentrate single-pointedly on the experience of
the absence of the self that we had always presumed to exist.
Whenever this certainty begins to weaken or lose clarity,
we return to our analytical meditation and again check through
the four keys. Once more a sharpness of certainty arises and
we return to concentrating on it single-pointedly. In this
way we cultivate two things: the certainty of finding nothing
there and the subjective experience of how this appears. By
keeping these two together and not allowing our mind to wander
we reach what is called the single-pointed concentration of
balanced space-like absorption, wherein everything appears
non-dual. Subject and object merge like water poured into
water.
We also have to learn what to do when we arise from meditation—in
the post-meditation period we have to view everything that
appears as illusory. Even though things appear to be self-existent,
they are simply the sport of emptiness, like a magician’s
creations. This state is called the samadhi of illusory manifestations.
Our practice should alternate in this way between the samadhi
of space-like absorption and that of illusory manifestation,
thus avoiding the extremes of absolutism and nihilism. This
activates the mental factor called ecstasy and we experience
intense physical and mental ease. Our meditation just seems
to take off on its own without requiring any effort. Once
this ecstasy is activated, the power of our meditation increases
one hundred times and we achieve penetrative insight into
emptiness.
We should spend a great deal of time meditating on the four
keys. It may be difficult but it is the most powerful and
beneficial form of meditation for counteracting delusions.
As Aryadeva said, “Even doubting the validity of emptiness
rips samsara to shreds.”
Meditation on emptiness is the most powerful way to purify
negative karma. During Guru Shakyamuni Buddha’s time
there was a king who had killed his own father. He was terrified
that this evil act would cause him to be reborn in hell and
asked the Buddha for advice. The Buddha instructed him to
meditate on emptiness. The king devoted himself to this practice
and was able to purify that negative karma from his mindstream.
After Lama Tsong Khapa attained enlightenment he wrote the
poem In Praise of the Buddha’s Teaching on Dependent
Arising, in which he stated that although all of the
Buddha’s teachings are beneficial and undeceiving, the
most beneficial and undeceiving, the most miraculously wonderful,
is his teaching on emptiness, because by meditating on it
sentient beings can cut the root of samsara and attain liberation
from all suffering. In awe and amazement, Lama Tsong Khapa
thus praised the Buddha’s uncanny perceptiveness and
reliability of knowledge as both a scientist and philosopher.
When we understand that the Buddha really did know and describe
the true nature of reality by means of his teachings on emptiness,
firm faith arises within us. This faith is not based upon
stories or fantasy but upon the experience that arises by
practicing and realizing the situation for ourselves. We find
that reality exists exactly the way the Buddha described it.
Furthermore, he discovered this reality a long, long time
ago, without the need of so-called scientific instruments.
|