Transforming Depression
by Lama Zopa Rinpoche
|
|
|
Edited by T. Wongmo, Buddhist Nun
|
The best solution to purify the karma of having depression is to do the purification
practice of Vajrasattva. As long as the karma isn't purified, you'll continue to suffer
from depression again in future lives.
Maybe you wake up in the morning feeling depressed for no particular reason. If
you can't solve this problem through meditation it might help to just go to sleep,
or go somewhere to rest, or take a nice drive somewhere. Otherwise you'll get upset,
disturbing the people around you as well. When you're angry, all sorts of bad, uncontrolled
thoughts can come into your mind.
If you're depressed due to a certain situation then you can apply the meditation
techniques that relate to that particular set of conditions. But if you just feel
sad for no particular reason, it's best to practice bodhicitta.
You can recite the verse from the Guru Puja, "Please bless me to realize that the
disease of the self cherishing thought is the door to unwanted suffering." Blame the
demon, the self-cherishing thought, for your problem of depression. Then recite the
next verse, 'Bless me to realize that cherishing others, bodhicitta, the attitude
that leads all mother living beings to happiness, is the door to every excellent quality."
Another quote from Guru Puja is, "Even if all living beings become my enemy, may
I cherish them more than my life." It's very good if you can recite these verses daily,
especially when you feel depressed. Then you'll be using your depression to practice
the meaning of these two verses; that all problems and suffering come from cherishing
the 'I', therefore the I is the object to be renounced, to be given up. All your own
and others' happiness, including all the realizations up to enlightenment- all perfections
and happiness come from cherishing others- bodhicitta.
Because all these good things come from the attitude of cherishing others, they
depend on other living beings. Therefore living beings are to be cherished forever.
You need to repay the kindness of all these precious beings, to help them however
you can. How best to do this? They've been millionaires countless times, they've even
been universal kings but none of this power or wealth has freed them from the sufferings
of samsara. The best way to repay their kindness is to practice Lamrim, to transform
the mind from ignorance, attachment and self-cherishing into wholesome, pure thoughts.
By actualizing the path to enlightenment you can easily liberate other beings. Therefore
the best way to repay their kindness is to meditate on and develop bodhicitta in your
own mind.
Taking
Every living being is the source of all your past, present, future happiness. Generate
compassion by thinking, "I'll take all their suffering and its causes (afflictive
emotions and negative karmic imprints) including the fires of the hot hells, the ice
of the cold hells and the unpleasant, unhealthy, ugly, unpeaceful and polluted environments
of human beings into my heart." This eliminates the self-cherishing attitude. Once
the self-cherishing attitude has been destroyed do a short meditate on emptiness.
Giving
After the self-cherishing has been destroyed, generate love by giving your own happiness,
your merit, all the good things you have, including your body, wealth and possessions.
All their wishes are fulfilled as if they had a wish-granting jewel. By giving them
all these things you create unbelievable amounts of merit. You can recite mantra while
they're receiving everything they want and need. Actually they don't know they really
need. What they need is to meet the dharma. But if they don't understand the benefits
of the dharma, they want something other than dharma.
Receiving all these good things causes them to actualize the spiritual path, to
purify the two obscurations (to liberation and enlightenment). They achieve the rupakaya
(the form bodies of a buddha) and become enlightened. Think, "How wonderful it is
that I can do all this for others! I've died many times in past lives while working
for my own happiness, but it didn't accomplish anything. I'm still in samsara. I've
never died while working for others. Even if I have to die for the benefit of others,
for them to stop creating negative karma, to not be reborn in the lower realms and
for their minds to become the dharmakaya and rupakaya and enlightened, it would be
immensely worthwhile.
Mediate on the extensive kindness and precious of all beings. "Every living being
is the source of all my past, present, future hap. My own future buddha, dharma and
sangha come from purifying my negative karma enabling me to attain all the realizations
and to achieve enlightenment. All this happens on the basis of other beings. Therefore
every sentient being is the most precious thing in my life. Anything other than working
for living beings is totally meaningless." This includes experiencing depression for
them. There's nothing to work for other than sentient beings. Anything else is totally
meaningless. Experience depression on their behalf by thinking this isn't my
depression but the depression of numberless beings, this is their depression,
their suffering. To give them every happiness; including freedom all the sufferings
of cyclic existence and the bliss of full enlightenment is fantastic!
Feel the joy of it! This is their depression, so the most wonderful thing
would be to experience it for them and allow all those suffering from depression to
have every happiness. Then rejoice that you have this opportunity to experience this
problem of depression on their behalf. "How fantastic it is that I'm experiencing
this depression on behalf of all beings!"
Do this practice of tonglen (taking and giving) in the morning, afternoon
and evening.
Think again and again, 'How lucky I am that I can experience this depression for
them. I've made many prayers to take others' suffering onto myself, so now those prayers
are being actualized. How fantastic this is! It makes my life so rich, so meaningful!
How fortunate I am to experience this depression on behalf of all living beings."
Think about the meaning of your life, a psychological method that makes a huge difference
because much of the problem comes from your exaggerated concept of pain. It's possible
to reduce or completely eliminate pain with the mind. "The purpose of my life isn't
just to be healthy, wealthy, to have a good reputation, to be popular and have lots
of friends. Even if I had all these things, it isn't the actual purpose of my life.
Even if I live for 1,000 years or am perfectly healthy for eons, if I don't have love
and compassion in my heart my life it's meaningless and useless because my life isn't
benefiting others. Leading such a life would be empty. Therefore it doesn't matter
what happens; if in my life there's health or no health; depression or no depression;
cancer or no cancer, wealth or no wealth. The real purpose of my life is to make my
death beneficial for others. Even if I have cancer, I'll make that experience beneficial
for all beings by using it to develop compassion and bodhicitta, to achieve realizations
and enlightenment." In this way the cancer becomes the cause of happiness. Depression
can also be used to achieve enlightenment to benefit all beings in this and future
lives, especially all those who suffer from depression- just like using snake venom
to produce it's own anti-venom.
You're using your depression to achieve enlightenment. In this way it becomes the
cause of happiness for all sentient beings experiencing depression. Think, "The main
purpose of life is to benefit all living beings, to free them from suffering and bring
them happiness in this and future lives. Even if I have cancer, aids, depression or
whatever, the purpose of my life is to bring happiness to all sentient beings by experiencing
these problems on their behalf. " In this way depression becomes a quick way to achieve
enlightenment. The same with cancer. Use it to quickly achieve enlightenment. If it's
experienced for the benefit of others it becomes the quick path to enlightenment because
experiencing suffering for others is incredible, unbelievable purification. This is
excellent!
There was one monk in Thailand who was walking around the country. He came across
a big river. On the banks of the river was a woman with leprosy, with pus oozing out
of her sores. She begged the monk to carry her across the river. He refused, on the
basis that his monk's vows prevented him from touching women. After some time one
of the monk's disciples came along and when he saw the poor woman, unbelievable compassion
arose in his mind. Without hesitation he picked her up and carried her across the
river, even though her body was covered with open wounds. When he reached the middle
of the river the woman transformed into Vajra Yogini and took him not just
his consciousness, but also his body, to Vajra Yogini's pure land. This means that
by now this monk has attained full enlightenment, because anyone who goes to Vajra
Yogini's pure land is enlightened there. Being in a pure land is a quick way to achieve
enlightenment if it hasn't yet happened in your present life. In this case Vajra Yogini
took the aspect of an ordinary, pitiful woman with leprosy in order to stimulate compassion
in the disciple's mind. This compassion quickly purified the heavy negative karma
blocking him from seeing Vajra Yogini.
In the case of the great Tibetan yogi, Milarepa, the karmic blocks preventing him
to see Vajrayogini were purified by his pure service to his holy guru, Marpa.
It's the same for you. If on the basis of feeling strong compassion you experience
depression on behalf of all beings, this meditation of taking and experiencing the
suffering for others is a quick path to enlightenment, just like the example of the
monk. It's a quick way to achieve enlightenment because experiencing cancer, depression
or any suffering for the benefit of living beings is unbelievably purifying.
Suffering from depression can be a good thing because it allows you to easily see
the pain of other people. By using your own experience of depression you can clearly
feel the unbearable pain of many, many other people. There are so many people who
are depressed and many others creating karma for future bouts of depression. Experiencing
depression on their behalf might be even more powerful than practising tantra because
if tantra isn't done correctly, on the basis of the three principal paths, it's not
a quick path to enlightenment.
When feeling depressed you can think, "I'm exhausting so much of my negative karma
to have depression that I've accumulated throughout countless past lives." Rejoice!
You should feel great joy about finishing the karma instead of seeing the depression
as something bad.
As it's said in Guru Puja, living beings and their environments are filled with
unbelievable problems and sufferings, coming one after another like rainfall, sufferings
that are the results of negative karma. "Please grant me blessings to see my depression
as exhausting the results of my negative karmic imprints, and bless me to be able
to always transform bad conditions into the path to enlightenment." You can recite
mantra while doing this meditation.
For example when you wash a dirty piece of cloth, the water becomes black with dirt.
You don't see the black dirt as a negative thing since it means the cloth is getting
clean. In the same way, when you practice dharma negative karmas can ripen causing
you to get sick because you're purifying so much negative karma by practising dharma.
So you should rejoice when you get depressed!
Depression happens in the first place due to being under the control of the ego,
self-cherishing, attachment, anger, broken vows and pledges and having disturbed the
minds of holy beings and your spiritual teachers in past lives. This depression is
caused by the ego, the self-cherishing attitude and the self-existent "I". So rather
than accepting the depression, give it back to the self-cherishing attitude. Use the
depression like a bomb to destroy the wrong conception of the I. Then meditate on
the emptiness of the self-existent I.
These are some ways to use depression to achieve enlightenment as quickly as possible.
By using it to develop compassion and bodhicitta you collect merit as vast as limitless
space and purify unbelievable amounts of negative karma. It's being used like a powerful
bomb to destroy the wrong conception of the inherently existent I, the thing that
caused the depression in the first place. It's the demon that has prevented your enlightenment,
your liberation from samsara, all the realizations, and is the door to all your problems.
You can also do some preliminary practices such as Vajrasattva to purify the negative
karma that causes depression.
|