A student had been regularly visiting a man in hospital who was severely depressed. She asked Rinpoche whether she should continue or not, as she thought that it had become hopeless.
When nothing works, and you don’t have the necessary power, you must rely on higher beings: Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Make strong prayers to the Twenty-One Taras and visualize light rays, which are the essence of great bliss and cause the depressed person to generate the whole path, are emitted from the heart of the Twenty-One Taras. Each atom of the person is filled with bliss. Then think that he generates the whole path—compassion, bodhicitta and wisdom realizing emptiness.
Rinpoche gave the following advice to a young girl who wrote to him saying she was depressed and felt her life did not have much meaning.
My very dear Katie,
Thank you very much for your kind letter. I am sorry for the long delay in replying.
If your depression comes without reason, just happens, at certain times of the day, morning or evening, and it’s not dependent on something, then you need to have a deeper perspective on it, like having a clear capacity to see beyond this life. Maybe it is something that you cannot remember, even with clairvoyance—which has different levels. With the highest level, an omniscient mind without any error, you can see directly all the past, present, and future. This comes from purifying in this life all the negative actions you have committed in the past.
For example, there is a story in the Buddha’s teachings of someone who felt depressed when night came and this was the result of sexual misconduct in a past life. It may not be the only cause, there may be others, and because they have not been purified in the past then there are the four suffering results:
The ripened aspect result—rebirth in the lower realms, means as a hell being, hungry ghost, or animal. Also, it can mean rebirth as a human, but where the environment is very harmful, with many insects, people trying to kill you, where you get sick a lot, etc.
Even depression that comes from reasons—such as your partner leaves you or gives you up, or somebody hurts you, or you lose your job or your business, whatever the reason, you can still transform depression into happiness. How? Because when you put a negative label on a situation, you label it bad, then it appears as bad. Actually, what you see is the label. So, you can see how it is all up to your mind. Something appears bad—then you see it as bad and you believe in that. You can see how the badness actually comes from your mind, when you label the situation as bad. Even if you experience suffering, if you can understand that this is the result of past negative karma, and your mind labels it as positive, then it actually appears as positive and pleasure. You see it as positive; you see it as a happy thing. So, whatever situation happens in life, whether it disturbs your mind or makes you happy, all of it totally depends on your mind, whether you look at it as good or bad—what label you put on the situation.
The secret of your life’s happiness, the key to being happy and to stop depression, to stop undesirable, unpleasant things, unhappiness and unpleasant appearances, sounds, etc. and to experience happiness, to feel good, to have pleasant appearances and sounds etc., all depends on your mind labeling things as positive. Suffering is the result of past negative karma, but if you look at your current situation as positive, as good, then it appears as a good, positive, pleasant feeling, instead of as an undesirable feeling.
Then, whatever problem one experiences, one can think about the benefit of problems and how they are beneficial for one’s life, to develop one’s mind in compassion, to develop loving kindness, patience, wisdom, and all the positive qualities for the path to liberation. By thinking in this positive way, immediately, in that second, it makes your life happy, peaceful, and brings you liberation forever from all the sufferings of the hell beings, hungry ghosts, animals, human beings, sura beings, and asura beings. It stops the cycle of birth and death and all the suffering of old age, sickness, and all the stages inbetween of birth and decay.
Not only does it stop all suffering, but also one achieves peerless happiness, the cessation of all gross and subtle minds, and the completion of all the realizations. With that, one can have perfect understanding, perfect compassion, perfect power, and perfect wisdom. One is able to do perfect work spontaneously to liberate countless sentient beings from all sufferings and their causes, and to bring them to full enlightenment—the peerless happiness.
By thinking of the benefits of problems, one develops this precious quality, this most healthy, positive way of thinking, which brings happiness, stops you from harming yourself, and stops you from giving harm to your family and to all living beings. Thinking in this way benefits you, your family, and all living beings. It brings so many sentient beings not only temporary happiness but ultimate happiness, liberation from all sufferings and their causes, and brings them to full enlightenment. It brings so much joy and happiness into your life, your mind, and good physical health, so that you have a long life.
With this positive thought you are able make problems, obstacles, and undesirable things become so meaningful and beneficial. Thinking in this way brings you inner happiness and satisfaction. This wish-fulfilling thought is an incredibly precious gift that brings all the positive qualities of mind and all the realizations, inner happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment.
Even a billion dollars or all the wealth of this earth cannot buy this experience. But if you generate these peerless positive thoughts, then whatever problem happens—somebody gets angry at you, abuses you, something fails, your friend changes his mind and doesn’t like or love you any more—these situations become so precious, become wish-fulfilling, causing happiness. By having trained your mind in this practice, your mind is positive all the time. Then you are able to bring so much peace and happiness to the world, to your family, your neighbors, to your country, and to the whole world. Like this, your life is like the sun shining—one sun dispelling all darkness and giving all warmth and light to every corner of the world so that everyone can enjoy it. That is incredible! If you are able to think in this way, then there is no better life than this, this is the best life, the most satisfying life. If you think like this then it doesn’t matter when death comes because your mind is totally happy and satisfied, and when death comes it is no problem at all, you have no regrets, and you are so joyful and full of bliss.
It is very important, even if you are depressed for no reason, that you think that this is good, because this helps you to look for the cause of your depression. Of course, the causes are delusion, ignorance, and the self-cherishing thought, and in relation to those, anger and attachment arise. The action of these delusions is karma. So, this helps you to learn about your depression. It is very important to look for the cause, to know that depression comes from the self-cherishing thought, and then look for a method to completely eliminate this—that is the practice.
The way to eliminate the self-cherishing thought is with bodhicitta, by training the mind in happiness. This is most fulfilling and brings all temporary happiness and ultimate happiness to every living being, liberation from samsara and from all sufferings and their causes, and brings peace, happiness, and enlightenment. This fulfills all the wishes of so many sentient beings, every single hell being, hungry ghost, animal, human, sura being, asura being, and intermediate state being, fulfilling all their happiness and every single wish up to enlightenment.
The bodhicitta thought is letting go of the “I,” from which all sufferings come, and cherishing others, from where all happiness comes. All one’s past, present, and future happiness comes from cherishing others. This is the most precious thought. Training the mind in this completely illuminates the whole path explained by Buddha. The self-cherishing thought causes depression and all the problems, delusions, attachment, anger, and the root of all sufferings—ignorance—which is not knowing the ultimate nature of the “I” and the ultimate nature of aggregates.
Buddha taught the Four Noble Truths, which are the fundamental teachings of Buddhism:
By actualizing the true path, one is able to cease the cause of suffering and liberate oneself from all sufferings—to achieve the true cessation of all sufferings and to achieve all happiness.
The Four Noble Truths include the whole path and the solution to end any suffering in samsara, not only depression, such as the suffering of birth and death and all the sufferings inbetween. The path to overcome all sufferings is by ceasing the cause of suffering. Understanding the logic that clearly explains what is suffering, and then discovering the cause of suffering, one comes to know how to cease suffering by looking for the method—this is called the true path. This path is possible to achieve because the Buddha has shown us how. Also, so many sentient beings have achieved the cessation of all suffering in the past and even now beings are still achieving this path. This is through the Buddha’s teachings.
The reason I am giving you this advice on thought transformation is so that your life can be happy. Another way to have happiness is to be kind. It is very important to practice kindness toward others every day, toward your family, everyone you meet, animals, etc. Whatever you do, with every small thing, try to practice kindness. This becomes a source of happiness—when you make others happy then that makes you happy. Please put effort into this. By being kind, in this life and future lives, everyone will be kind to you. Kindness to others looks simple but the results are huge.
Whenever good things happen to other people, for instance, someone finds a good job, a car, motorbike, house, a boyfriend, husband, has a good education, or is rich or beautiful, practice rejoicing in his or her happiness. Think how wonderful it is. Why? Because when you think like this, then you also have happiness. As we don’t want suffering and we want happiness, this is a very easy way to have happiness. Each time that you rejoice, you collect merit. By planting a small seed, a huge tree follows. Like this, rejoicing becomes the means for success. Also rejoicing, having a positive mind when you see others’ happiness and success, is medicine for the jealous mind. It is the jealous mind that harms us and makes us sick. Rejoicing is like medicine causing a positive, healthy, happy mind.
If you want to have success in your life, a very simple way is to do spiritual practice, Dharma practice. Practicing kindness to others every day immediately causes others to be happy. This helps you become kind in this life and in future lives. In this life, others help you more, and are kind to you more.
Also, each time you are kind to others, at that time there is no thought about your own happiness, instead you are thinking about others’ happiness more. When you are only thinking about your own happiness, thinking that is the most important thing, you are actually being dictated to by your ego.
Also, practicing tolerance every day is a source of peace and happiness, to always keep your life happy. Practicing forgiveness for those who have hurt you or harmed you is a very important way to cause your mind to be happy. This brings happiness to others, so it is very important for you, not just for the other person. These are very easy ways to collect merit.
So, please think about this and try to learn more Dharma, study more, and try to meditate. This is very, very important, not only for your own temporary happiness but for your ultimate happiness. Even more important is that you have the responsibility to free living beings from all suffering and its causes and bring them to peerless happiness. That is the meaning and purpose of your life.
I hope this is helpful for you and also for your mother. Thank you very much.
With much love and prayers...
A student came to see Rinpoche at Vajrapani Buddhist Center in California, with depression problems. She had not seen a psychiatrist. Rinpoche asked the student whether she was depressed regularly, every month or according to some cycle. She said it was very irregular and it came for a few days and then went, but it had been at a low level for the past year. She cried for no particular reason, without knowing why, and she was angry with herself for that. She thought she just had to sit still at those times. The first part of Rinpoche’s response is below. The remainder of Rinpoche's advice is posted as part of a compilation of advice on depression which you can read here.
That is good! That is very good, otherwise you might waste your time and instead of being helped, there is more harm. These days there is another kind of psychology, a new kind. Some of our students are studying this now, and it is like a bridge to the Dharma. This is very good, especially for non-Buddhists.
From other psychologists, there may be a lot of harm, danger to one’s life and a lot of negative thoughts get created. At first, you didn’t have negative thoughts toward a certain person, then by going to the psychologist, you come to blame that person, especially your parents. They become the root of your life’s problems. That is terrible. That makes you have a grudge against your parents for your whole life and that grudge makes your mind negative toward them. I don’t know what the parents’ solution would be, who they are going to blame. It’s very strange.
The new psychology is very close to Dharma and there is no harm created, nothing that makes your mind negative toward anybody. It doesn’t involve that. It is presented in a very skillful way.
Read the second part of Rinpoche's advice here
Rinpoche wrote this letter to a person who had suffered from a low-grade depression for a long time.
It is very understandable that it is difficult to live in the West, where all the objects that give rise to desire are advertised constantly, in a society that puts particular effort into advertising those objects. When you are living in the family-life environment, also, you must expect hardships. This involves always fighting with the enemy, your own delusions, and having to defeat them. You have to do that as much as possible, for your own benefit, your own good rebirth and liberation, and, most importantly, in order to bring about all sentient beings’ happiness now, in future lives, and up to liberation and enlightenment. One has to try as much as possible. It doesn’t mean you must succeed all the time. It’s as if you are living in the nest of a poisonous snake. Such an environment is not like the places where the ancient Tibetan, Nepali, and Indian yogis lived as hermits, in caves. For example, when you go sightseeing in Tibet, all you go to see is caves and statues. There’s nothing other than that. So, of course, the overall environment is different, with much less distraction. Nowadays, there is more distraction in Tibet, since the communist Chinese brought in movies and other entertainments.
It is very important, too, to have a stable morning and evening practice. This is extremely important for stabilizing your life. It helps always to purify and collect merit, and if you are doing lam-rim meditation, this brings you closer every day to enlightenment, for yourself and for all sentient beings.
Please read the book called the Wheel of Sharp Weapons. This explains where problems like yours come from. Any problem you have, including depression, you can read about in this book, which explains how to use the problem to cut through the ego and self-cherishing thoughts. Self-cherishing is the main enemy to bodhicitta, which is what you need to achieve enlightenment and to enlighten all sentient beings. This is the best technique for you to heal your depression.
Try to always have deep in your heart, in your mind, an awareness of impermanence and death. Death can happen at any time. If you are able to keep this awareness, it will help you continue to practice, and will remind you to practice. It will also help stop a strong desire and clinging to this life, which lead to all the distractions and interruptions to your practice, to your mind, and to your life, and prevent you from putting an end not only to samsaric sufferings, but particularly to the sufferings of the lower realms. These sufferings are the result of desire. Detachment—renunciation—brings liberation, which helps to develop bodhicitta, which leads to enlightenment.
After getting up in the morning, rejoice that you did not die in the night. Rejoice in your perfect human rebirth, and at having met the Dharma. This human rebirth gives you the opportunity to create the cause of happiness, unbelievable happiness. Then rejoice at having met Mahayana teachings, which makes it possible to achieve enlightenment, and at having met tantra, which allows you to achieve enlightenment quickly, using every second of your perfect human rebirth—your one precious rebirth, which is like a whole sky filled with wish-granting jewels. Without a human body, however much wealth you have, you cannot achieve enlightenment in this life and cannot stop rebirth in the lower realms.
Rejoice. This gives you a strong determination to practice, to live your life in bodhicitta. Think, “I must practice and live in bodhicitta, no matter how much unhappiness I have, and no matter how many problems or ups and downs I have with anybody, in any circumstance or any place.”
The most important thing is to make efforts to develop bodhicitta. No matter how easy or how hard it is, keep in mind the thought of benefiting others and achieving enlightenment for others. That is the best attitude to have, toward your family and toward all others. As much as possible, perform all your other activities with that attitude.
Even if you are just going to the beach, go with that thought, wishing to benefit others. You might not succeed all the time, but you must try, since you want happiness and others’ happiness and to eliminate suffering. This is the most important thing.
If possible, recite OM MANI PADME HUM while meditating on bodhicitta, the shortcomings of self-cherishing, and the benefits of cherishing others.
Make sure you set your motivation strongly before going to work. Make sure your motivation for all the activities in daily life is the enlightenment of all sentient beings. The important thing is bodhicitta. Set your motivation so that many actions become Dharma, the purest cause of enlightenment. And try to control anger by practicing compassion and patience.
With bodhicitta, you can change your life.
Rinpoche spoke with a student who explained that difficulties with depression and mental illness ran in her family.
We need to see self-cherishing as the enemy. Everything we do should go toward defeating this inner enemy, and reducing the amount of self-cherishing. This then gives space for bodhicitta to grow.
Anything that happens today, positive or negative, if we look at it all as positive then we don't see the negative. There is no room for the negative, and then we get happiness. The root is our own mind. When we are mistreated, we are purifying past negative karma, and it helps teach us compassion, which leads us straight to enlightenment. Anything that hurts our self-cherishing mind can help us to actualize the path. When you are patient with sentient beings, they receive no harm from you. So, if you put a positive label on all occurrences, the rest becomes easy.
Bodhisattvas have no thought that arises for themselves. They only think of others, with their whole heart: all sentient beings.
If it were a simple thing to remove all the sufferings from a being, then all beings would be enlightened. Therefore, even though there are numberless buddhas and bodhisattvas, there are still numberless sentient beings. This means it is not easy to help others. Buddha's job is to show us the path, to explain it.
Rinpoche heard that an old student, who had been battling depression intermittently for some time, had recently lapsed into a severe depression. Rinpoche wrote him the following letter, unsolicited.
My very dear one,
Hi! I heard you went to another realm these days.
Remember many times in a day that if things can be mended, what is the need to be unhappy? Even if some things cannot be mended, what is the benefit of feeling dislike and being unhappy?
Change your attitude in life. Instead of cherishing the “I,” cherish others. For one day, just think of others. Think only of their needs, their happiness, their liberation, and their enlightenment. Take that as your object of concentration for that day. Then try again the next day. Continue like that. Then eating, sleeping, whatever you do, try to do that for others.
The next thing is, any negative thought you have—“This is bad, that is bad”—try to put it positively, thinking of it on the positive side. For example, when you think of samsara, think that you can be liberated from it and others can be liberated from it, because of emptiness. The main reason why you can be liberated, even from the sufferings of samsara, and others can be liberated is because things are empty and because of dependent arising. Those are the main reasons.
If you think of your past negative karma, do the same thing. Think that it can be purified. Even the unhappiness that you experience, your depression, through this you are finishing your past negative karma that otherwise would have to be experienced as unbearable suffering in the lower realms for eons.
Not only that, because you made prayers so many times when doing Guru Puja to be able to experience others’ suffering, praying for those sufferings to ripen on yourself when doing tong-len, you can think, “Now I have succeeded! Now I’m experiencing depression on behalf of other sentient beings, who are numberless. Each time I experience this unhappiness for sentient beings, I collect merit as vast as the sky and it becomes unbelievable purification of so many lifetimes of negative karma. I will experience this strongly on behalf of others.”
Think: “Each time I experience depression or unhappiness for others, I become closer to enlightenment. That means each time I experience depression and unhappiness, I become closer to being able to bring others to enlightenment and free them from suffering.”
What else is there more enjoyable to experience than this? What else besides experiencing problems or unhappiness for other sentient beings?
Bodhicitta is the source of all your happiness and success, and your bodhicitta is the source of the happiness of numberless sentient beings.
Each time you perform this practice, you develop bodhicitta. Therefore enjoy your life. Have a good time and good luck.
With much love and prayer...
More talks by Lama Zopa on this topic:
Transforming Depression
See the Transforming Problems topic in the Practice Advice chapter of the Advice Book.
