Virtue and Reality
Lama Zopa Rinpoche
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Based on a four-day course given at Tilopa Center, Decatur, Illinois, USA in
August, 1997
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Index
Chapter Three: Patience and the Compassionate Heart
Guru Shakyamuni Buddha said,
Do not engage in any harmful actions;
Perform only those that are good;
Subdue your own mind—
This is the teaching of the Buddha.
What did he mean? The above verse encapsulates the entire teaching of the kind, compassionate
Buddha. In it, he is telling us sentient beings, who want only happiness and do not
want suffering, how to achieve our aims.
Where do happiness and suffering come from?
Happiness and suffering do not come from outside but from actions motivated by our
own minds, our own thoughts. Happiness comes from positive actions. Problems come
from mistaken, or unskillful, actions. Positive actions, pure actions, are motivated
by a positive, virtuous attitude, the pure mind, the healthy mind, the peaceful mind.
All happiness—the transient happiness of our everyday lives, and ultimate happiness,
both liberation and enlightenment—comes from each being’s positive attitude and virtuous
actions; from the pure mind. Liberation is the complete cessation of all suffering,
including rebirth, aging, sickness and death, and its cause. Enlightenment, the great
liberation, which is even higher than this, is the cessation of even the subtle defilements
of mind and the completion of all realizations. Each and every sentient being has
the potential to experience all this. It comes from positive motivation and good karma.
All suffering comes from each being’s negative attitude and non-virtuous actions.
In your life, until your mind labels something as a problem, before you have the
concept of problem, you don’t have any problems. Before your mind fabricates the label,
“problem,” you don’t see problems in your life. What do I mean by concept here? It’s
where your thought interprets a certain situation as a problem. In other words, your
mind creates the designation “problem” for this particular situation. Before that
happens, you don’t see any problem with the situation, but the moment your mind creates
the label, “problem,” and believes in it, that is the moment that the concept of problem
has been created. You have created the concept of life problem.
This is just a simple example of how problems come from your own mind, how problems
depend upon your own concepts, how problems depend upon the very concept of problem.
The problems in your life depend upon your having the concept of problem—having the
thought, creating the label and believing in it. This is just a very simple example
of how your problems depend upon your own mind. It shows how your problems depend
upon the thought, or concept, you have at that moment—that hour, that minute, that
second—how this hour’s problem, this minute’s problem is related to, or comes from,
the way you are thinking at the time. The present moment’s problem comes from the
present moment’s thought, or concept, which creates the label and believes in it.
Anger is another example of this. If you don’t create the mental factor, or thought,
of anger, there are no enemies in your life; you can’t find any enemies. If you don’t
form the thought of anger, wherever you go, wherever in the world you travel, wherever
you live, whoever you’re with, you never see a single enemy. If you don’t create anger
within, you have no enemy outside.
Don’t be yourself
If you do not practice compassion, loving kindness and patience towards others, if
you do not cultivate these healthy minds, these positive, beneficial thoughts for
the sake of yourself and all other sentient beings, if you don’t make an effort to
develop these positive attitudes, you are just being yourself; you are allowing yourself
to be your old self. Your old self follows your ego and self-centered mind and thinks
only of your own happiness and nothing else. From beginningless time, in every rebirth,
your old self has been under the influence of ego and self-centeredness, the unhealthy,
uptight, unpeaceful mind. Your old self’s heart is closed, not open. Your old self
works only for your own happiness and cares nothing for the needs of others. Your
old self does not think that you are responsible for the happiness of others, that
your happiness comes from others and that their happiness depends upon you. Your old,
self-centered mind thinks only of your own happiness and nothing other than that.
So “being yourself” means just this—being your old self. Instead of practicing those
positive minds, you do just the opposite. You follow disturbing thoughts such as attachment
and anger, which offer your mind no peace, no rest, no realization—only agitation,
trouble and unhappiness. There’s no holiday for your mind. Even if you take your body
on vacation, there’s no vacation for your mind, no rest and relaxation for your mental
continuum. The result of continually following your old self—ego, attachment and anger—is
that you never find satisfaction. These thoughts can never bring you satisfaction,
no matter for how many eons you follow them. This is simply the nature of attachment.
As Guru Shakyamuni Buddha said, “As long as you follow desire you will never be
satisfied.” It’s like sitting in a fire. As long as you sit in a fire you will never
experience the pleasure of not being burnt. If you long to be comfortable and cool,
you have to get out. In just the same way, as that is logical, so is it logical that
as long as you follow attachment you will not find inner peace, true satisfaction,
real rest. There’s no vacation for your heart. That’s the old self at work. When the
Rolling Stones sang, “Well, I tried and I tried, I tried and I tried—I can’t get no,
satisfaction,” they were actually giving a lam-rim teaching; a lam-rim teaching with
guitar accompaniment. They were teaching meditation.
If you don’t have a good heart, if you have no satisfaction—which can be experienced
only by not following the painful minds of desire and attachment—if you don’t develop
loving kindness and compassion, then even if you do take a break from your job and
take your body to the beach, there’s no rest for your mind. There’s no peace within
your mental continuum because you have taken with you your attachment and anger and
the constant problems they create. Because you lack a good heart and cannot dedicate
yourself to others, there’s no fulfillment in your heart. Because of the disturbing
emotional thoughts of attachment and anger, you get no satisfaction and experience
constant problems.
Your emotional thoughts are the foundation of all problems. They themselves are
the main problem. Because of them, you have no inner peace and cannot enjoy your life.
Even though externally it might look as if you’re enjoying yourself, as if you’re
experiencing excitement and pleasure, when you look into your heart, you know that
there’s always something missing. Only by giving up— cutting, freeing yourself from—disturbing
emotional thoughts, such as the painful mind of attachment, can you find satisfaction
in your heart, in your inner life.
If you can stop being your old self, if you can stop following the beginningless
discriminating thoughts of attachment and anger, stop forming the thought of anger,
stop transforming the mind that was not angry into one that wants to harm others,
you will never have enemies. Wherever you go, you will never find an enemy trying
to harm you.
Eliminating enemies
What do you do when you encounter someone who doesn’t love you, who’s angry at you?
You practice patience. Instead of interpreting that person’s actions as negative,
or harmful, you interpret them as positive, or beneficial. Instead of thinking how
harmful it is that the person is angry at you, doesn’t love you, think how beneficial,
how necessary, how useful it is. Just as you feel it important to have in your life
someone who loves you, feel it just as necessary to have someone who doesn’t love
you. Think how much you need the person who is angry at you. Feel that the person
who dislikes you is just as precious as the one who has compassion for you. Instead
of seeing it as negative, see it as positive, beneficial.
If right at that moment, instead of telling yourself how harmful it is, you practice
patience by thinking how useful it is, if instead of thinking how useless it is, you
think how necessary it is, you will immediately experience peace and tranquillity
in your mind. Instead of being troubled, you’ll be happy, then and there. Moreover,
you won’t be impelled to retaliate and will therefore refrain from harming others.
In this way you will avoid creating the negative karma of injuring others with body,
speech and mind.
If out of anger you give harm to others, you leave negative imprints on your own
mental continuum. These then manifest as problems in this life, future lives or both—problems
such as sickness, ill-treatment at the hands of others, premature death and so forth.
These are called “karmic results similar to the cause in experience,” and we create
them ourselves by responding negatively to those who are angry at us.
Therefore, by practicing patience, you don’t harm others and thus don’t harm yourself.
If you don’t practice patience, you do harm others and therefore harm yourself. Furthermore,
when you practice patience and refrain from harming others, you protect them from
retaliating in response to your harm, thereby saving them from creating extra negative
karma, the cause of suffering—you protect others from having to experience the karmic
results of giving you harm. Thus, by practicing patience, besides creating the cause
of happiness for yourself in this and future lives, you help others to experience
happiness in this and future lives.
As a result of your practicing patience and not harming the person who’s angry at
you, that other person doesn’t give you further harm. Not only is there peace and
happiness for yourself and the other person in this and future lives, but you are
also training your mind to be patient with others. This person is helping you do that.
You are learning to be patient with the rest of your family, the rest of your colleagues,
all other human beings and all sentient beings in general. The person who is angry
with you is helping you train your mind to be patient and positive instead of angry
and negative.
As you eradicate anger from your mental continuum and replace it with patience,
the rest of the sentient beings receive no harm from you, the individual whose mind
has been transformed into patience. The absence of harm, their not receiving harm
from you, is peace. What they receive from you is happiness.
The benefits of patience
Historically, you can see how, at different times and in different places in the
world, one influential person who did not practice patience caused millions of people
to die. As a result, many millions of people underwent extraordinary suffering by
being imprisoned, tortured and killed—during the Hitler era, in China, in Tibet, in
Cambodia, in the West and in many other countries as well. Even now, because they
do not practice patience, certain individuals are killing many people. They lack the
qualities that make a person good.
Now, consider yourself in light of the above. As an individual practicing patience,
learning to be patient, by freeing your mind of anger, you can offer great peace and
happiness to numberless other sentient beings, not only in this life, but in many
future lives to come. Since there’s no anger, you don’t harm others. Therefore, many
people, animals, fish and insects, for example, receive much peace and happiness from
you. Thus, life to life, with patience towards all sentient beings, you bring significant
peace and happiness to the world. By practicing patience you give peace to the world—to
your parents, the rest of your family, your friends, the people you work with and,
on the grand scale, all sentient beings.
Leaving aside other realizations of the path, if those powerful people had only
been educated in, possessed and practiced the good human quality of patience, the
good heart, each could have given so much happiness to the world. Many millions of
people would have had happiness, enjoyment and long lives instead of just the opposite.
One person could have made so much difference had he only been patient instead of
angry. Put yourself into this situation. This could happen to you. If you don’t practice
patience in this or future lives, you, too, could be reborn as someone who harms millions
of people. Therefore, you definitely need to practice patience. You should consider
it a responsibility. It is extremely important that you educate yourself in patience
and practice it. It is perhaps the most important meditation you can do.
If you practice patience, you eliminate anger. That means there’s no enemy to bodhicitta
in your mind. In other words, it makes it much easier to achieve bodhicitta, the ultimate
good heart, the altruistic mind set on attaining enlightenment for the sake of all
sentient beings. Bodhicitta is the gateway to the Mahayana path, the root of the path
to enlightenment and the source of all happiness for both yourself and others.
By actualizing the perfection of patience, you can attain full enlightenment, the
great liberation, the cessation of all mental errors and the completion of all realizations.
Once you have attained enlightenment, you are free to work perfectly for the welfare
of all sentient beings in order to liberate them from all suffering and its cause
and bring them to buddhahood as well. This is the long term benefit of practicing
patience in your daily life right now, a benefit as measureless as space itself.
Practicing patience today will allow you to become the perfect guide and bring all
happiness to numberless sentient beings. Therefore, when somebody treats you badly
or when someone gets angry at you, these are the benefits of not getting upset. You
can look at it differently. You can see how responding with patience is the source
of all happiness—not only your own immediate happiness but also that of your future
lives; not only your own happiness, but that of numberless others. You can make it
all happen. It comes from your patience.
Patience has many other benefits as well. For example, practicing patience is the
cause of receiving a beautiful body in future lives—a beautiful human body or the
divine body of a deva. If your body is attractive, it is easier to benefit others.
It is also the cause of many of the special qualities of a buddha’s holy body. There
are many more benefits of patience.
If you do not practice patience, you will get angry. One of the results of anger
is to receive ugly bodies in future lives. If you look ugly, people won’t want to
see or hear you, won’t want to help you and won’t pay attention to what you say. Worse
than that, you will have to experience the unbearably heavy sufferings of rebirth
in hell. And even when, after that, you’re reborn human, there will be many other
problems as a result of anger. Anger has many, many drawbacks, but by practicing patience
you can avoid them all.
In short, practicing patience on a daily basis has infinite benefit. It brings peace,
happiness and success for yourself and others in this and many future lives. Ultimately,
you attain enlightenment, and bring all happiness to all sentient beings as you lead
them to enlightenment.
How to practice patience
Where does your daily practice of patience that brings all this benefit come from?
How did you learn to be patient?
Ask yourself, “Where did I learn this patience that I practice? I learned it from
those who have been angry at me. By depending on the angry person I have been able
to practice, to realize patience. Therefore, all the peace and happiness that I enjoy
in this and future lives as a result of my practice of patience has come from the
angry person. It is through the kindness of the angry person, who gave me the opportunity
to practice patience, that I am able to offer peace and happiness to all sentient
beings as a result. Because of this person I am able to accomplish the perfection
of patience, the other perfections, and thereby complete the bodhisattva’s path and
attain full enlightenment. Through this person’s kindness I can eradicate all errors
of mind and gain all realizations. It is the angry person who has given me this opportunity.
This person is actually giving me enlightenment. Through the kindness of this person
I can also offer all peace and happiness to all sentient beings. How kind this person
is! How much benefit this person has given me! This is the most precious person in
my life! Even if someone were to give me billions and trillions of dollars, I could
never buy the peace of mind that I get through the practice of patience. Therefore,
the angry person who gives me the opportunity to practice patience is of much greater
value than trillions of dollars, mountains of diamonds, acres of gold.”
The angry person is even more precious than trillions of wish- fulfilling jewels.
The most precious material object we can think of in these examples is the wish-fulfilling
jewel. Legend has it that by praying to this mythical gem, you get whatever sense
enjoyment you desire. Nevertheless, the angry person with whom you practice patience
is far more valuable than trillions of these wish-granting gems. No amount of material
wealth can bring you the inner peace that you can achieve by practicing patience with
an angry person. That’s why such people are so precious.
The only reason the person is so kind and precious is because he is angry at you.
There’s no reason other than that. This is what makes this person so unbelievably
kind. Therefore, even though his anger is so destructive for him, for you it is invaluable.
It is of the utmost need in your life. Having somebody angry at you is very, very
important.
Say there were a cure for cancer or AIDS. We would regard that medicine as incredibly
precious, extremely important, especially if we were suffering from one of those diseases.
But even though such remedies could cure those fatal illnesses, it doesn’t mean that
they could purify your negative karma. They couldn’t stop you from being reborn in
the suffering lower realms—the hell, hungry ghost or animal realms. Practicing patience,
however, does offer that kind of benefit. For example, the practice of patience makes
for a happy, peaceful death, a death free from fear and worry. Practicing patience
purifies, or counteracts, negative karma. When you practice patience, you don’t create
negative karma. That means you are not creating the cause for a lower rebirth—patience
protects you from that. In fact, the practice of patience creates only positive karma,
the cause of good rebirths.
Anyway, in order to practice patience, you need an angry person. As the great bodhisattva
Shantideva pointed out in his teaching, the Bodhicharyavatara, the Buddha isn’t angry
with you, so you can’t practice patience with him. And a doctor’s only thought is
to help you, so there’s no opportunity there either. Similarly, your friends aren’t
angry with you, so there’s no chance to practice patience with them. Therefore, if
there’s nobody angry at you, there’s no opportunity to put into practice the teachings
you’ve received from the Buddha and your gurus. That’s why the angry person is most
kind, precious and indispensable in your life, and much more important than medicine
for cancer or AIDS. We think those medicines are so valuable, but when you think about
it this way, you can see how much more precious the angry person is. The benefits
of practicing patience are infinite.
We always want in our life someone who loves us. We feel that this is important
for our happiness. But you can see now that it’s much more important to have in our
life someone who doesn’t love us, who’s angry at us, so that we can practice training
our minds. As I mentioned before, if you don’t have such a person, if you don’t train
your mind, then even if you do find a friend, there’s the danger that through lack
of patience, you’ll turn your friend into an enemy.
Therefore, to maintain harmonious relationships with others, to keep your friends,
you have to practice patience. To lead a happy and successful life, you almost have
to train yourself like a soldier preparing for battle. Soldiers train before marching
off to war. You need to do the same. Training your mind by practicing meditation on
patience is the way to prepare yourself for the battles of daily life. Leaving aside
the happiness of future lives or that of other sentient beings, even for the happiness
of this life, you have to practice patience.
The power of positive thinking
So now, going back to what I was saying before, look at the indescribable benefits
of seeing in a positive light those who don’t love you, those who are angry at you.
Look at the profits you can reap—every happiness all the way up to enlightenment and
the ability to bring every happiness to all sentient beings. The more clearly you
understand this, the easier it will be to look positively at someone who is angry
with you. In this way, your own anger does not arise and you generate a happy, peaceful,
patient mind instead.
No matter how angry at you the other person gets, no matter how much the other person
whines and complains, your patient mind never sees that person as an enemy, as someone
to avoid, as someone to get away from, as irritating. Rather, you see that person
as kind, precious. You feel, “She’s purifying my negative karma. All this criticism
of me helps purify my negative karma of having criticized and harmed others. How kind
she is to help me in this way.”
By transforming your mind into patience like this, you get this immediate peace
and happiness—that day, that minute, that second—and the long-term benefits as well.
All this is due to the kindness of that angry person. If you do not practice patience,
if you interpret what the angry person is doing with her body, speech and mind as
negative, as harmful to yourself—your mind applies a negative label to the situation
and you believe in that—your own anger will arise. That anger will make you see the
angry person as negative, undesirable, someone you want to neither see nor help, someone
you want to lash out at and hurt. When your mind is angry you see the other person
in a completely different light, opposite to the way in which your patience perceives
that person. Your anger makes her look repulsive.
The happiness and difficulties we experience every day come from our mind. Whatever
we’re experiencing at any given moment is dependent upon the way we think, our concepts,
our attitude. Our attitude determines how we feel.
For example, once in Tibet there were a couple of monks who returned to their monastery
after a long and tiring journey. To welcome them back, their teacher offered them
cold tea. One of the disciples thought, “How kind our teacher is. He knew we were
hot and thirsty so he intentionally gave us tea that was cold.” The other thought,
“How mean and lazy. He couldn’t even give us hot tea,” and got upset and angry. So,
he destroyed himself. There was no benefit from the way he thought to either himself
or his teacher. But, by having a positive view, the first student made himself and
his teacher happy, made his mind peaceful and, since the tea had been offered by his
guru, created much merit. The action—offering cold tea—was the same. What was different
was the students’ interpretation of that action. One labeled it positive and was happy.
The other labeled it negative and created a problem for himself.
I started this talk with a quotation from Guru Shakyamuni Buddha:
Do not engage in any harmful actions;
Perform only those that are good;
Subdue your own mind—
This is the teaching of the Buddha.
The first line refers to the cause of suffering, the second the cause of happiness.
The discussion of the importance and benefits of patience evolved from that. Everything
comes from your mind, everything depends upon the way you think, your moment to moment
concepts. Do you label things negatively or positively? The heaviest suffering, what
we call hell, comes from your own mind; the greatest happiness, what we call enlightenment,
comes from your own mind.
Therefore, the Buddha is saying that the way to never have negative thoughts, the
cause of suffering, and to have only a positive mind, which results in only happiness,
is to subdue, or take care of, your own mind. Watch your mind all the time. Practice
mindfulness. Guard your mind, protect it from disturbing thoughts and eradicate your
delusions. How is all that done? Through actualizing the five paths. In the case of
the Mahayana, by actualizing bodhicitta and developing the wisdom realizing emptiness.
Through the wisdom directly perceiving emptiness, you can completely remove the two
types of defilement and attain full enlightenment.
Therefore, subduing the mind is the teaching of the Buddha. That’s the key. Your
own mind is the door to happiness; your own mind is the door to suffering. It all
depends upon how you use it. It’s like the remote control that controls the channels
on your TV. Click it this way, it goes up; click it that way, it goes down. The way
you think determines whether you’ll experience happiness or suffering.
What creates the labels?
Before I finish, I’ll make one more point. Like the monks in the story above, our
minds are constantly making up labels that affect our lives. Depending upon the label,
we experience different feelings—pleasant, unpleasant or neutral—and that’s how our
life goes, twenty-four hours a day. So, what is it that causes our mind to create
these different labels? People who apply positive labels experience happiness. People
who apply negative labels experience suffering. What is it, then, that causes us to
label things positive or negative? What’s the force behind all this?
It’s karma. Because of past karma, some people are able to label things positively
while others have to label them negatively. The underlying cause is karma. Therefore,
you can see how crucial it is to purify past negative karma and not to create any
more—in other words, how essential it is to practice Dharma. Only the practice of
Dharma can remove or prevent the negative karma that forces us to label things negatively,
thereby creating our own suffering. Dharma is the solution to all life’s problems,
whatever they are, and, more importantly, the sole means of preventing them from arising
in the first place.
By practicing Dharma now we can avoid creating the causes for the heaviest sufferings
of samsara, those of the lower realms—the hell, hungry ghost and animal realms—and
the sufferings we go through in the upper realms, even as humans—illnesses such as
cancer and AIDS, aging, death, everything—and thus avoid having to experience them.
By practicing Dharma now we can purify the already created karma of such results.
Here is where the whole answer to our problems lies—purify the negative karma already
created; do not create any more. This is the reason we take precepts such as the refuge
vow, the five lay precepts, not to mention the ordination vows taken by monks and
nuns. You don’t even have to take all five precepts. You can take one, two, three
or four—whatever you can manage. Of course, there are countless negative karmas, but
at least you can vow not to create certain kinds.
By practicing Dharma today we also create the causes for our own happiness—the happiness
of this life, future lives, liberation and enlightenment. This is something we can
do right now. Therefore, it is essential to create as much good karma as possible,
while we have the chance. We should take every opportunity to create even the tiniest
merit. Since we want even smallest comfort, we have to create its cause. Similarly,
since we don’t want to experience even the smallest suffering or inconvenience, we
have to avoid creating even the tiniest non-virtue. As it says in the Vinaya teaching,
Dulwa lung, “Small drops fill a big pot.” Therefore, we shouldn’t think that small
merits are useless. Try to collect as many as possible. It also says, “A tiny spark
can ignite a huge forest.” Therefore, don’t think that small negative karmas won’t
bring results. Avoid them too. Here is where we must direct all our effort. This is
the Buddha’s fundamental advice.
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