| Making Your Parents Happy |
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| A nun sought advice on how to behave
with her parents. They were unbelievably kind to her and
she felt overwhelmed by them. She went to visit them from
time to time and tried to make them happy. She was also
helping at a Dharma center, as well as studying and practicing.
Rinpoche’s response was as follows. |
My suggestion is that you can’t expect to make them
happy. This is very difficult to do, and you might lose the
chance to do other meaningful things and benefit other sentient
beings.
Do what you can. Go to see them from time to time. When
you are there, the best way to repay their kindness is to
explain the Dharma to them, and encourage and inspire them
to practice Dharma. Then, you will cause them to receive a
good rebirth, because what they need is liberation from samsara.
There is no future in just giving them mundane happiness.
It doesn’t help them in the long run. You can try to
make them happy, but you can’t expect them to be happy
all the time. So, your main concern should be to repay their
kindness in this way. Concentrate on putting effort into this
for their sake.
| How to Benefit Your Parents |
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| A student was concerned about how to
present the Dharma to her parents, and how to benefit
them through the Dharma, and sought Rinpoche’s advice.
They were in fairly good health, but were advanced in
years. This student was specifically asking whether to
stay some time longer away from home to take more teachings
or to return to spend time with them and to attend her
father’s 85th birthday. |
One thing is for them to see that you have found happiness
and satisfaction by meeting the Buddha’s teachings.
That may impress them, and cause them to wonder what Buddhism
is.
Then, on top of that, as you become more loving and kind
to them, this will definitely cause them to take an interest
in Buddhism, to read and to learn. Then they might even come
to His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s teachings or to other
lamas’ teachings.
So, it is good for you to go, in this case, to visit your
parents, and along the way you might help them, by explaining
Dharma to them. This way you are repaying their kindness in
the best way, by engaging their interest and explaining the
Dharma to them. Then you will know that you have done what
you can. You won’t have any regrets, thinking, “Oh,
I didn’t think of them, I didn’t get to help them.”
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