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Feeling Pride
A student expressed concerns about feeling pride when she
helped others.
It’s OK to feel happiness when we help. If pride comes,
think, “I am fortunate that I'm able to help.”
Focus on benefiting others. It’s OK if you want them
to like you, so that you can bring them greater benefits,
like teaching the Dharma.
Overwhelmed by Pride
A student in Wisconsin,
USA, wrote the following to Rinpoche: “I
would like advice. My mind becomes overwhelmed with pride
again and again. I would like to prevent it, but I don’t
know how.”
My very dear Janine,
Thank you very much for your kind letter. Regarding your
question on pride, this is my advice.
Each time pride arises, it leaves negative imprints on
the mind. It causes strong delusions to arise, if it is
dependent
on lower objects—poor, ugly, lower forms, all these
different aspects that you see, and from which strong delusion
arises and makes karma. This is very heavy, and interferes
with your achievement of enlightenment, which is the ultimate
goal.
Water cannot stay on the tip of the mountain, and also water
cannot stay on top of an upside-down container, meaning you
can’t receive any qualities or knowledge—not
just intellectual understanding, but also realizations—in
your mental continuum if you have pride. Even in this life,
you won’t get along with others. Many mistakes arise
because of pride, and that is not including the shortcomings
in future lives.
As it says in the thought transformation teachings, examine
yourself and think of all the ignorance that exists in your
mind, and how many subjects you don’t know about. Also,
think of all the phenomena that exist and all the subjects
that you don’t know about. What you know is so little,
hardly anything. There is so much ignorance. In this way,
focus on your shortcomings.
Think that the realizations in your mind are so small. They
are not there, not even the realization of death and impermanence,
or the realization of a precious human rebirth. You do not
have even those realizations.
In this way reflect on your shortcomings, including mistakes
made in the past. Thinking like this immediately makes you
feel lower and helps you feel respect for others.
In the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, it says: “With
my actions, I want to achieve a human body in my next life,
but what I create is only negative karma, so there is only
non-virtue being created.”
If you examine your actions daily and your motivation, you
will see that your main motivation is for this life only.
Most actions are performed out of attachment, not just attachment
seeking happiness in this life, but also attachment clinging
to this life’s happiness. Actually, 24 hours a day
your attitude is attachment. That means even our Dharma actions
are performed with this motivation, with the thought of this
life’s happiness. So that means 24 hours a day, your
life becomes non-virtue, so the ripened result is to be reborn
in the lower realms. This means all your actions are non-virtuous,
including meditation and prayers. All of these also become
non-virtue. That is what the quote means.
When pride arises when you see others who have lower qualities,
an ugly body, less possessions, no realizations, and so forth,
the antidote is to think about the good qualities that they
do have. Even if the person has shortcomings, think on the
side of their good qualities. That is one antidote.
Then, when you see their good qualities, think “How
wonderful,” and rejoice. The nature of sentient beings
is mistaken, but to be able to develop good qualities is
wonderful. Rejoicing is also an antidote to pride.
Then, also think that they appear like they have shortcomings,
but you never know in reality who he or she is, what kind
of good qualities they have, what their realizations are.
It is not for you to judge their mind. You cannot see their
mind, so you can’t know if they are enlightened buddhas
or bodhisattvas. In the past, Buddha was criticized by Hindus
in India. They only saw shortcomings in the Buddha. This
is one example. They did not see the beams of light shining
out from the Buddha’s body. They only saw a deluded
monk. It is very good to think in this way. This is a very
good antidote to pride.
Even with insects, for example, you can think of all the
shortcomings that you have that they don’t, all the
mistaken actions you perform that they don’t. Then
even they become objects of respect. Insects do not create
the heavy negative karma that you create.
These are some methods for you to use. If you cannot practice,
then pride arises and you cannot cherish others. This becomes
an obstacle for you to have realizations, to practice bodhicitta,
and achieve enlightenment, so you can benefit and liberate
all other sentient beings, and bring them to enlightenment.
I hope this is enough advice on pride. Have a good time
and good experience putting this advice into practice.
With much love and prayers,
Lama Zopa |
