Becoming Your Own Therapist
An Introduction to the Buddhist Way of Thought
Lama Thubten Yeshe
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First published in 1998, this booklet contains three
public talks by Lama Yeshe on the general topic of Buddhism.
Each lecture is followed by a question and answer session.
Lama and his audiences always enjoyed the give and take
of these lively exchanges, and pretty much anything
went. Although these talks were called lectures, Lama
would have each of us use them as a mirror for our minds
and look beyond the words, find ourselves, and become
our own psychologist.
See here for more information
about translations of this text.
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Contents
Chapter One - Finding Ourselves
Through Buddhism
When we study Buddhism, we are studying ourselves, the nature
of our own minds. Instead of focusing on some supreme being,
Buddhism emphasizes more practical matters, such as how to
lead our lives, how to integrate our minds and how to keep
our everyday lives peaceful and healthy. In other words, Buddhism
always accentuates experiential knowledge-wisdom rather than
some dogmatic view. In fact, we don’t even consider Buddhism
to be a religion in the usual sense of the term. From the
lamas’ point of view, Buddhist teachings are more in the realm
of philosophy, science or psychology.
The human mind instinctively seeks happiness. East, West—there’s
no difference; everybody’s doing the same thing. But if your
search for happiness is causing you to grasp emotionally at
the sense world, it can be very dangerous. You have no control.
Now, don’t think that control is an Eastern thing, a Buddhist
thing. We all need control, especially those of us caught
up in the materialistic life; psychologically, emotionally,
we’re too involved in objects of attachment. From the Buddhist
point of view, that’s an unhealthy mind; the person is mentally
ill.
Actually, you already know that external, scientific technological
development alone cannot satisfy the desires of your attachment
or solve your other emotional problems. But what Lord Buddha’s
teaching shows you is the characteristic nature of human potential,
the capacity of the human mind. When you study Buddhism, you
learn what you are and how to develop further; instead of
emphasizing some kind of supernatural belief system, Buddhist
methods teach you to develop a deep understanding of yourself
and all other phenomena.
However, whether you are religious or a materialist, a believer
or an atheist, it is crucial that you know how your own mind
works. If you don’t, you’ll go around thinking you’re healthy,
when in reality, the deep root of afflictive emotions, the
true cause of all psychological disease, is there, growing
within you. Because of that, all it takes is some tiny external
thing changing, something insignificant going wrong, and within
a few seconds, you’re completely upset. To me, that shows
you’re mentally ill. Why? Because you’re obsessed with the
sense world, blinded by attachment, and under the control
of the fundamental cause of all problems, not knowing the
nature of your own mind.
It doesn’t matter if you try to refute what I’m saying by
telling me that you don’t believe it. It’s not a question
of belief. No matter how much you say, “I don’t believe I
have a nose,” your nose is still there, right between your
eyes. Your nose is always there, whether you believe it or
not.
I’ve met many people who proudly proclaim, “I’m not a believer.”
They’re so proud of their professed lack of belief in anything.
You check up; this is important to know. In the world today
there are so many contradictions. Scientific materialists
boast, “I don’t believe”; religious people say, “I believe.”
But no matter what you think, you still need to know the characteristic
nature of your own mind. If you don’t, then no matter how
much you talk about the shortcomings of attachment, you have
no idea what attachment actually is or how to control it.
Words are easy. What’s really difficult is to understand the
true nature of attachment.
For example, when people first made cars and planes, their
intention was to be able to do things more quickly so that
they’d have more time for rest. But what’s happened instead
is that people are more restless than ever. Examine your own
everyday life. Because of attachment, you get emotionally
involved in a concrete sense world of your own creation, denying
yourself the space or time to see the reality of your own
mind. To me, that’s the very definition of a difficult life.
You cannot find satisfaction or enjoyment. The truth is that
pleasure and joy actually come from the mind, not from objective
phenomena.
Nevertheless, some intelligent, skeptical people do understand
to a degree that material objects do not guarantee a worthwhile,
enjoyable life and are trying to see if there really is something
else that might offer true satisfaction.
When Lord Buddha spoke about suffering, he wasn’t referring
simply to superficial problems like illness and injury, but
to the fact that the dissatisfied nature of the mind itself
is suffering. No matter how much of something you get, it
never satisfies your desire for better or more. This unceasing
desire is suffering; its nature is emotional frustration.
Buddhist psychology describes six basic emotions that frustrate
the human mind, disturbing its peace, making it restless:
ignorance, attachment, anger, pride, deluded doubt and distorted
views. These are mental attitudes, not external phenomena.
Buddhism emphasizes that to overcome these delusions, the
root of all your suffering, belief and faith are not much
help: you have to understand their nature.
If you do not investigate your own mind with introspective
knowledge-wisdom, you will never see what’s in there. Without
checking, no matter how much you talk about your mind and
your emotions, you’ll never really understand that your basic
emotion is egocentricity and that this is what’s making you
restless.
Now, to overcome your ego you don’t have to give up all
your possessions. Keep your possessions; they’re not what’s
making your life difficult. You’re restless because you are
clinging to your possessions with attachment; ego and attachment
pollute your mind, making it unclear, ignorant and agitated,
and prevent the light of wisdom from growing. The solution
to this problem is meditation.
Meditation does not imply only the development of single
pointed concentration, sitting in some corner doing nothing.
Meditation is an alert state of mind, the opposite of sluggishness;
meditation is wisdom. You should remain aware every moment
of your daily life, fully conscious of what you are doing
and why and how you are doing it.
We do almost everything unconsciously. We eat unconsciously;
we drink unconsciously; we talk unconsciously. Although we
claim to be conscious, we are completely unaware of the afflictions
rampaging through our minds, influencing everything we do.
Check up for yourselves; experiment. I’m not being judgmental
or putting you down. This is how Buddhism works. It gives
you ideas that you can check out in your own experience to
see if they’re true or not. It’s very down-to-earth; I’m not
talking about something way up there in the sky. It’s actually
a very simple thing.
If you don’t know the characteristic nature of attachment
and its objects, how can you generate loving kindness towards
your friends, your parents or your country? From the Buddhist
point of view, it’s impossible. When you hurt your parents
or your friends, it’s your unconscious mind at work. When
acting out his anger, the angry person is completely oblivious
as to what’s happening in his mind. Being unconscious makes
us hurt and disrespect other sentient beings; being unaware
of our own behavior and mental attitude makes us lose our
humanity. That’s all. It’s so simple, isn’t it?
These days, people study and train to become psychologists.
Lord Buddha’s idea is that everybody should become a psychologist.
Each of us should know our own mind; you should become your
own psychologist. This is definitely possible; every human
being has the ability to understand his or her own mind. When
you understand your own mind, control follows naturally.
Don’t think that control is just some Himalayan trip or
that it must be easier for people who don’t have many possessions.
That’s not necessarily true. Next time you are emotionally
upset, check for yourself. Instead of busily doing something
to distract yourself, relax and try to become aware of what
you’re doing. Ask yourself, “Why am I doing this? How am I
doing it? What’s the cause?” You will find this to be a wonderful
experience. Your main problem is a lack of intensive know-ledge-wisdom,
awareness, or consciousness. Therefore, you will discover
that through understanding, you can easily solve your problems.
To feel loving kindness for others, you have to know the
nature of the object. If you don’t, then even though you say,
“I love him; I love her,” it’s just your arrogant mind taking
you on yet another ego trip. Make sure you know how and why.
It is very important that you become your own psychologist.
Then you can treat yourself through the understanding wisdom
of your own mind; you’ll be able to relax with and enjoy your
friends and possessions instead of becoming restless and berserk
and wasting your life.
To become your own psychologist, you don’t have to learn
some big philosophy. All you have to do is examine your own
mind every day. You already examine material things every
day—every morning you check out the food in your kitchen—but
you never investigate your mind. Checking your mind is much
more important.
Nevertheless, most people seem to believe the opposite.
They seem to think that they can simply buy the solution to
whatever problem they’re facing. The materialistic attitude
that money can buy whatever you need to be happy, that you
can purchase a peaceful mind, is obviously not true, but even
though you may not say the words, this is what you’re thinking.
It’s a complete misconception.
Even people who consider themselves religious need to understand
their own minds. Faith alone never stops problems; understanding
knowledge-wisdom always does. Lord Buddha himself said that
belief in Buddha was dangerous; that instead of just believing
in something, people should use their minds to try to discover
their own true nature. Belief based on understanding is fine;
once you realize or are intellectually clear about something,
belief follows automatically. However, if your faith is based
on misconceptions it can easily be destroyed by what others
say.
Unfortunately, even though they consider themselves religious,
many spiritually inclined people are weak. Why? Because they
don’t understand the true nature of their mind. If you really
know what your mind is and how it works, you’ll understand
that it’s mental energy that prevents you from being healthy.
When you understand your own mind’s view, or perception, of
the world, you’ll realize that not only are you constantly
grasping at the sense world, but also that what you’re grasping
at is merely imaginary. You will see that you’re too concerned
with what’s going to happen in a non-existent future and totally
unconscious of the present moment, that you are living for
a mere projection. Don’t you agree that a mind that is unconscious
in the present and constantly grasping at the future is unhealthy?
It is important to be conscious in your everyday life. The
nature of conscious awareness and wisdom is peace and joy.
You don’t need to grasp at some future resultant joy. As long
as you follow the path of right understanding and right action
to the best of your ability, the result will be immediate,
simultaneous with the action. You don’t have to think, “If
I spend my lifetime acting right, perhaps I’ll get some good
result in my next life.” You don’t need to obsess over the
attainment of future realizations. As long as you act in the
present with as much understanding as you possibly can, you’ll
realize everlasting peace in no time at all.
And I think that’s enough from me. Better that we have a
question and answer session, instead of my talking all the
time. Thank you.
Q: When you were talking about meditation, you didn’t
mention visualization. It seems that some people find it relatively
easy to visualize while others find it quite difficult. How
important is it to develop the ability to visualize things
in the mind?
Lama: Many people have trouble visualizing what’s
described to them simply because they have not trained their
minds in it, but for others it’s because they have a poor
imagination; they’re too physical. Perhaps they think that
all there is to their being is their physical body, that there’s
no mind apart from their brain. However, Buddhism has methods
whereby you can train your mind and develop the ability to
visualize in meditation. But in reality, you visualize all
day long. The breakfast you eat in the morning is a visualization.
Whenever you go shopping and think, “This is nice,” or “I
don’t like that,” whatever you’re looking at is a projection
of your own mind. When you get up in the morning and see the
sun shining and think, “Oh, it’s going to be nice today,”
that’s your own mind visualizing. Actually, visualization
is quite well understood. Even shopkeepers and advertising
agents know the importance of visualization, so they create
displays or billboards to attract your attention: “Buy this!”
They know that things you see affect your mind, your visualization.
Visualization is not something supernatural; it’s scientific.
Q: From what you say, I get the impression you’re
somewhat critical of the West, that you laugh at what we do
and the way we try to civilize the uncivilized. I don’t really
have a question, but what future do you see for mankind in
terms of what the so-called progressive West is developing:
bigger planes, bigger houses, bigger supermarkets? What future
do you see for the West?
Lama: I see that Western people are getting busier
and busier, more and more restless. I’m not criticizing material
or technological development as such, but rather the uncontrolled
mind. Because you don’t know who or what you are, you spend
your life blindly grasping at what I call “supermarket goodness.”
You agitate your own life; you make yourself restless. Instead
of integrating your life, you splinter it. Check up for yourself.
I’m not putting you down. In fact, Buddhism doesn’t allow
us to dogmatically put down anybody else’s way of life. All
I’m trying to suggest is that you consider looking at things
another way.
Q: Lama, like yourself, most of the Tibetan teachers
we see are men. I was wondering if there are any female rinpoches
or tulkus?
Lama: Yes, of course. Men and women are completely
equal when it comes to developing higher states of mind. In
Tibet, monks would sometimes take teachings from female rinpoches.
Buddhism teaches that you can’t judge people from the outside;
you can’t say, “He’s nothing; I’m special.” You can never
really tell by outer appearances who’s higher and who’s lower.
Q: Is the role of a Buddhist nun very different from
that of a monk?
Lama: Not really. They study the same things and
teach their students in the same way.
Q: Sometimes it’s hard to find a teacher. Is it dangerous
to try to practice tantra, for example, without a teacher,
just by reading books?
Lama: Yes, very dangerous. Without specific instructions,
you can’t just pick up a book on tantra and think, “Wow, what
fantastic ideas. I want to practice this right now!” This
kind of attitude never brings realizations. You need the guidance
of an experienced teacher. Sure, the ideas are fantastic,
but if you don’t know the method, you can’t put them into
your own experience; you have to have the key. Many Buddhist
books have been translated into English. They’ll tell you,
“Attachment is bad; don’t get angry,” but how do you actually
abandon attachment and anger? The Bible, too, recommends universal
love, but how do you bring universal love into your own experience?
You need the key, and sometimes only a teacher can give you
that.
Q: What should people in the West do when they can’t
find a teacher? Should those who are really searching go to
the East to find one?
Lama: Don’t worry. When the time is right, you’ll
meet your teacher. Buddhism doesn’t believe that you can push
other people: “Everybody should learn to meditate; everybody
should become Buddhists.” That’s stupid. Pushing people is
unwise. When you’re ready, some kind of magnetic energy will
bring you together with your teacher. About going to the East,
it depends on your personal situation. Check up. The important
thing is to search with wisdom and not blind faith. Sometimes,
even if you go to the East, you still can’t find a teacher.
It takes time.
Q: What is the Buddhist attitude towards suicide?
Lama: People who take their own lives have no understanding
of the purpose or value of being born human. They kill themselves
out of ignorance. They can’t find satisfaction, so they think,
“I’m hopeless.”
Q: If a person, out of ignorance perhaps, believes
he has achieved enlightenment, what is his purpose in continuing
to live?
Lama: An ignorant person who thinks he’s enlightened
is completely mentally polluted and is simply compounding
the ignorance he already has. All he has to do is to check
the actions of his uncontrolled mind and he’ll realize he’s
not enlightened. Also, you don’t have to ask others, “Am I
enlightened?” Just check your own experiences. Enlightenment
is a highly personal thing.
Q: I like the way that you stress the importance
of understanding over belief, but I find it difficult to know
how a person brought up in the West or given a scientific
education can understand the concept of reincarnation: past,
present and future lives. How can you prove that they exist?
Lama: If you can realize your own mind’s continuity
from the time you were a tiny embryo in your mother’s womb
up to the present time, then you’ll understand. The continuity
of your mental energy is a bit like the flow of electricity
from a generator through the wires until it lights up a lamp.
From the moment it’s conceived, as your body evolves, mental
energy is constantly running through it—changing, changing,
changing—and if you can realize that, you can more easily
understand your own mind’s previous continuity. As I keep
saying, it’s never simply a question of belief. Of
course, initially it’s difficult to accept the idea of reincarnation
because these days it’s such a new concept for most people,
especially those brought up in the West. They don’t teach
you continuity of consciousness in school; you don’t study
the nature of the mind—who you are, what you are—in college.
So of course, it’s all new to you. But if you think it’s important
to know who and what you are, and you investigate your mind
through meditation, you will easily come to understand the
difference between your body and your mind; you will recognize
the continuity of your own consciousness; from there you will
be able to realize your previous lives. It is not necessary
to accept reincarnation on faith alone.
Q: Could you please explain the relationship between
meditation, enlightenment and supernormal mental powers, such
as seeing the future, reading other people’s minds and seeing
what’s happening in a place that’s far away?
Lama: While it’s definitely possible to achieve clairvoyance
through developing single-pointed concentration, we have a
long way to go. As you slowly, slowly gain a better understanding
of your own mind, you will gradually develop the ability to
see such things. But it’s not that easy, where you meditate
just once and all of a sudden you can see the future or become
enlightened. It takes time.
Q: If you are meditating, working towards enlightenment,
do these powers come with control or just all of a sudden,
with no control at all?
Lama: True powers come with control. They’re not
like the uncontrolled emotional hallucinations you experience
after you’ve taken drugs. Even before you reach enlightenment,
you can develop insight into your past and future lives and
read other people’s minds, but this comes about only through
the controlled and gradual development of wisdom.
Q: Do you yourself have the power to separate your
mind from your body and astral travel or do other things?
Lama: No.
Q: Does His Holiness the Dalai Lama have the power
to do that?
Lama: The Mahayana Buddhism of Tibet certainly does
contain an unbroken oral tradition of teachings on the development
of supernormal powers, which has passed from realized guru
to disciple from the time of the Buddha himself down to the
present, but even though that teaching exists, it doesn’t
mean that I have accomplished it. Furthermore, Tibetan Buddhism
prohibits any lama who does have such realizations from proclaiming
them. Even when you do attain enlightenment, unless there’s
a good reason, you’re not allowed to go around telling everyone
that you’re a buddha. Be careful. Our system is different
from yours. In the West, you hear of people who say, “Last
night God spoke to me in my dreams.” We think it can be dangerous
for people to broadcast details of their mystical experiences,
therefore, we don’t allow it.
Q: Some years ago I read a book called The Third
Eye about a gentleman who had extraordinary powers. Have
many people had their third eye opened?
Lama: What the author of that book, Lobsang Rampa,
says is a literal misconception. The third eye is not a physical
thing but rather a metaphor for wisdom. Your third eye is
the one that sees beyond ordinary sense perception into the
nature of your own mind.
Q: Since Buddhism believes in reincarnation, can
you tell me how long there is between lives?
Lama: It can be anything from a few moments up to
seven weeks. At the moment the consciousness separates from
the body, the subtle body of the intermediate state is already
there, waiting for it. Due to the force of craving for another
physical body, the intermediate state being searches for an
appropriate form, and when it finds one, it takes rebirth.
Q: How does Buddhism explain the population explosion?
If you believe in reincarnation, how is it that the population
is expanding all the time?
Lama: That’s simple. Like modern science, Buddhism
talks about the existence of billions and billions of galaxies.
The consciousness of a person born on earth may have come
from a galaxy far away, drawn here by the force of karma,
which connects that person’s mental energy to this planet.
On the other hand, the consciousness of a person dying on
this earth may at the time of death be karmically directed
to a rebirth in another galaxy, far from here. If more minds
are being drawn to earth, the population increases; if fewer,
it declines. That does not mean that brand new minds are coming
into existence. Each mind taking rebirth here on earth has
come from its previous life—perhaps in another galaxy, perhaps
on earth itself, but not from nowhere—in accordance with the
cyclic nature of worldly existence.
Q: Is Buddhist meditation better than any other form
of meditation or is it simply a case of different forms of
meditation suiting different people?
Lama: I can’t say that Buddhist meditation is better
than that of other religions. It all depends upon the individual.
Q: If someone were already practicing one form of
meditation, say, transcendental meditation, would there be
any point in that person trying Buddhist meditation as well?
Lama: Not necessarily. If you find that your meditation
practice completely awakens your mind and brings you everlasting
peace and satisfaction, why try anything else? But if, despite
your practice, your mind remains polluted and your actions
are still uncontrolled—constantly, instinctively giving harm
to others—I think you have a long way to go, baby. It’s a
very personal thing.
Q: Can a bodhisattva be a Marxist in order to create
social harmony? I mean, is there a place for the bodhisattva
in Marxism or, vice versa, is there a place in Marxism for
the bodhisattva? Could Marxism be a tool in the abolition
of all sentient beings’ suffering?
Lama: Well, it’s pretty hard for someone like me
to comment on a bodhisattva’s actions, but I have my doubts
about a bodhisattva becoming a communist in order to stop
social problems. Problems exist in the minds of individuals.
You have to solve your own problems, no matter what kind of
society you live in, socialist, communist or capitalist. You
must check your own mind. Your problem is not society’s problem,
not my problem. You are responsible for your own problems
just as you’re responsible for your own liberation or enlightenment.
Otherwise you’re going to say, “Supermarkets help people because
they can buy the stuff they need in them. If I work in a supermarket
I’ll really be contributing to society.” Then, after doing
that for a while, you’re going to say, “Maybe supermarkets
don’t help that much after all. I’d be of more help to others
if I took a job in an office.” None of those things solve
social problems. But first of all you have to check where
you got the idea that by becoming a communist, a bodhisattva
could help all mother sentient beings.
Q: I was thinking that many people in the world today
are hungry and deprived of basic needs and that while they’re
preoccupied with hunger and the safety and security of their
family, it’s hard for them to grasp the more subtle aspects
of phenomena, such as the nature of their own minds.
Lama: Yes, I understand what you are saying. But
don’t forget that the starving person preoccupied by hunger
and the obese person obsessing over what else to buy in the
supermarket are basically the same. Don’t just focus on those
who are materially deprived. Mentally, rich and poor are equally
disturbed, and, fundamentally, one is as unhappy as the other.
Q: But Lord Krishna united India in a spiritual war,
the war of Dharma, and as a result, at one time, all the people
of India had the ability to engage in spiritual practice.
Couldn’t we now spread the Dharma amongst all the people on
earth and establish a better global society through a kind
of spiritual socialism?
Lama: First of all, I think that what you’re saying
is potentially very dangerous. Only a few people would understand
what you’re talking about. Generally, you can’t say that actions
that give harm to mother sentient beings are those of a bodhisattva.
Buddhism forbids you to kill other sentient beings, even for
supposedly religious reasons. In Buddhism, there’s no such
thing as a holy war. You have to understand this. And secondly,
it’s impossible to equalize everybody on earth through force.
Until you fully understand the minds of all beings throughout
the universe and have abandoned the minds of self-cherishing
and attachment, you will never make all living beings one.
It’s impossible.
Q: I don’t mean making all people the same, because obviously
there are going to be different mental levels. But we could
establish a universal human society on the basis of socialistic
economic theory.
Lama: I think you shouldn’t worry about that. You’d
be better off worrying about the society of your own mind.
That’s more worthwhile, more realistic than making projections
about what’s happening in the world around you.
Q: But is it not a spiritual practice to strike a
balance between your own self-realization and service to humanity?
Lama: Yes, you can serve society, but you can’t homogenize
all sentient beings’ actions simultaneously, just like that.
Lord Buddha wants all sentient beings to become enlightened
right away, but our negative karma is too strong, so we remain
uncontrolled. You can’t wave a magic wand, “I want everybody
to be equally happy,” and expect it to happen just like that.
Be wise. Only a wise mind can offer equality and peace. You
can’t do it through emotional rationalization. And you have
to know that communist ideas about how best to equalize sentient
beings are very different from those of Lord Buddha. You can’t
mix such different ideas. Don’t fantasize; be realistic.
Q: In conclusion, then, are you saying that it’s
impossible to create one common spiritual society on this
planet?
Lama: Even if you could, it would not stop people’s
problems. Even if you made a single society of all the inhabitants
of the entire universe, there would still be attachment, there
would still be anger, there would still be hunger. Problems
lie within each individual. People are not the same; everybody
is different. Each of us needs different methods according
to our individual psychological makeup, mental attitudes and
personality; each of us needs a different approach in order
to attain enlightenment. That’s why Buddhism completely accepts
the existence of other religions and philosophies. We recognize
that they are all necessary for human development. You can’t
say that any one way of thinking is right for everybody. That’s
just dogma.
Q: What do you say about drugs that expand the consciousness?
Can one experience the bardo under the influence of drugs?
Lama: Yes, it’s possible—take an overdose and soon
enough you’ll experience the bardo. No, I’m just joking. There’s
no way to get the bardo experience through taking drugs.
Q: Can you read people’s auras?
Lama: No, but everybody does have an aura. Aura means
vibration. Each of us has our own mental and physical vibration.
When you are psychologically upset, your physical environment
changes visibly. Everybody goes through that. As science and
Buddhism both assert, all physical matter has its own vibration.
So people’s mental states affect that vibration of their body,
and these changes are reflected in the person’s aura. That’s
the simple explanation of the aura. To gain a deep understanding,
you have to understand your mind. First learn to read your
own mind, then you’ll be able to read the minds of others.
Q: How does meditation remove emotional blockages?
Lama: There are many different ways. One is through
understanding the nature of your emotions. That way, your
emotion is digested into knowledge-wisdom. Digesting your
emotions by wisdom is really worthwhile.
Thank you. Good night. Thank you so much.
Auckland, New Zealand, 7 June 1975
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