Lama Zopa Rinpoche's Online Advice Book
Family & Relationship :
Your Parents
| Student’s Father | |
| Rinpoche sent the following card, and some books, to a student’s father. | |
My very dear William,
How are you?
I hope you got my cards from your daughter. I am sending you these books. Please enjoy reading them. Maybe you can read them before going to bed. You could also read the books in your dreams.
I met your wife in Portland, in the teachings. I was so surprised to see her and it made me extremely happy that she came all that way for the teachings. I am looking for more surprises like this in the future, unexpected things. Also, maybe liberation and enlightenment might happen in this way, unexpectedly.
With much love and prayers, and big love to mother,
Lama Zopa
PS I hope you enjoy this poster as well, of the holy Mount Kailash.
| Sick Mother | |
| A student, who is a nun, moved back home to take care of her mother, who was very old. Rinpoche wrote these two cards by hand, and sent this picture to the mother. The mother was suffering from multiple afflictions. | |
My very dear mum,
You are not only her mum, you are also my mum. I am very happy that you enjoy mantras very much.
Please enjoy these cards.
You are very lucky that you are being taken care of by your daughter, who is a champion nun, a great one. HA HA HA HA (laughing).
| Making Your Parents Happy | |
| A nun sought advice on how to behave with her parents. They were unbelievably kind to her and she felt overwhelmed by them. She went to visit them from time to time and tried to make them happy. She was also helping at a Dharma center, as well as studying and practicing. Rinpoche’s response was as follows. | |
My suggestion is that you can’t expect to make them happy. This is very difficult to do, and you might lose the chance to do other meaningful things and benefit other sentient beings.
Do what you can. Go to see them from time to time. When you are there, the best way to repay their kindness is to explain the Dharma to them, and encourage and inspire them to practice Dharma. Then, you will cause them to receive a good rebirth, because what they need is liberation from samsara. There is no future in just giving them mundane happiness. It doesn’t help them in the long run. You can try to make them happy, but you can’t expect them to be happy all the time. So, your main concern should be to repay their kindness in this way. Concentrate on putting effort into this for their sake.
| How to Benefit Your Parents | |
| A student was concerned about how to present the Dharma to her parents, and how to benefit them through the Dharma, and sought Rinpoche’s advice. They were in fairly good health, but were advanced in years. This student was specifically asking whether to stay some time longer away from home to take more teachings or to return to spend time with them and to attend her father’s 85th birthday. | |
One thing is for them to see that you have found happiness and satisfaction by meeting the Buddha’s teachings. That may impress them, and cause them to wonder what Buddhism is.
Then, on top of that, as you become more loving and kind to them, this will definitely cause them to take an interest in Buddhism, to read and to learn. Then they might even come to His Holiness the Dalai Lama’s teachings or to other lamas’ teachings.
So, it is good for you to go, in this case, to visit your parents, and along the way you might help them, by explaining Dharma to them. This way you are repaying their kindness in the best way, by engaging their interest and explaining the Dharma to them. Then you will know that you have done what you can. You won’t have any regrets, thinking, “Oh, I didn’t think of them, I didn’t get to help them.”
