My dearest one,
How are you? I received your letter and read it well. It seems it is a problem not only for you but countless beings. I will check on this more, but it might help to cut down on sugar and sweets. Try this for three months and see if it changes. If the depression occurs only from time to time it will be difficult to tell, but if the depression comes quite often then it seems that reducing sugar and sweets for three months will help.

The best method is to use your depression. There are many meditations on thought transformation but the key thing is to use depression like a weapon, a bomb, against your self-cherishing thought. You performed non-virtuous actions in the past and depression is the result. The enemy, the self-cherishing thought, likes to harm you with depression. So, now you use the depression that the self-cherishing thought has given you in the same way—you hit back at the self-cherishing thought, which so far hasn’t allowed you to achieve enlightenment, not even liberation from samsara, or to have any realizations. It has only made you to suffer in beginningless rebirths up to now.

As long as the ego dwells in your heart, it will be the same; it will hook so many problems to you, especially obstacles to practicing Dharma. It won’t allow you to have any attainments in the future: liberation or enlightenment. It will continuously make you suffer torture in samsara, keeping you in samsaric problems.

When depression comes use it against the ego, the self-cherishing thought, which has given you the depression. Then rejoice, “How wonderful it is to have depression, in that it can destroy the ego.” Rather than the ego defeating you, you defeat the ego. Rejoice how it’s wonderful to have depression. It means you have succeeded in the prayers you made in the past to experience all the sufferings of other sentient beings, especially the important one, the depression of all sentient beings. Think, “I am experiencing this for all sentient beings who are experiencing depression now and who will experience it in the future.” By experiencing this for others, for countless sentient beings, depression becomes the path for you to achieve enlightenment. That means it becomes the path to enlighten all sentient beings and the cause of happiness for all sentient beings. So, this should be your top meditation, the best one.

Therefore, depression becomes like a wish-granting jewel, the most precious one, fulfilling your own wishes and those of all sentient beings for happiness: the hell beings, hungry ghosts, animals, human beings, asuras, suras, and intermediate state beings. So, look at it as positive. Use depression to destroy the ego, and experience depression for all sentient beings. In both ways, you use depression to generate and develop bodhicitta. In this way, it makes your life more meaningful than not having depression. If you did not have depression, your life would be filled with distractions and you wouldn’t practice Dharma sincerely, experiencing suffering for all sentient beings. Your depression gives you the opportunity to do that all the time.

Each time you experience suffering for all sentient beings you collect vast amounts of merit and purify your negative karma. It brings you closer to enlightenment each time you think, “I’m experiencing this depression on behalf of all sentient beings.” Depression makes you recognize other sentient beings’ suffering. When depression comes think, “This is the depression of all sentient beings.” Experience it for them. This is the best purification practice for you. Doing this every day, as depression arises, can become like many years of Vajrasattva retreat. If you do Vajrasattva retreat with worldly concern, it doesn’t even become Dharma. It may be difficult to be on the path to enlightenment and the generation of bodhicitta could be artificial and shallow. But here, with your depression, you see how much other sentient beings are suffering with depression, so you generate compassion for all living beings. If you use your depression for bodhicitta practice, experiencing suffering for others, many eons of negative karma are purified. In this sense, you are unbelievably lucky to have depression, as it’s bringing you closer to enlightenment.

Tibetan medicine might also help. Take 37 Aids to Enlightenment pills, three each week, for seven weeks.

I haven’t found any other mantras or meditations yet that might help.

With much love and prayer...