My most dear, most kind, most precious wish-fulfilling one,
If you do prayers to Chenrezig every day, that comes out best. Think Chenrezig is one with His Holiness the Dalai Lama and as you recite OM MANI PADME HUM, this purifies the negative karma and delusions collected by you and by all sentient beings, including your partner, from beginningless rebirths. Make strong prayers to Chenrezig, who is one with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, to change their mind so that they do not cause obstacles to your Dharma practice, which is in order to achieve enlightenment for sentient beings and to benefit every sentient being.

When purifying sentient beings, this also purifies your partner, especially purifying all the wrong views. The heresy is completely purified. Then [pray for] all the realizations to be generated, from correctly following the virtuous friend, up to enlightenment, and in particular having the strongest faith in Buddhadharma, the Buddha’s teachings, reincarnation and karma, so much that they like you to practice Dharma.

Every day, in the morning and evening, make strong prayers and recite Chenrezig mantras, and the different mantras that you know.

I am sending the longest Chenrezig mantra, because this came out most beneficial for you. As you recite the mantra, think Chenrezig sends strong beams of loving kindness and compassion out toward your partner and totally purifies and changes your partner’s mind, as I already mentioned. Generate loving kindness, compassion, bodhicitta for every sentient being, not only for human beings.

You need to recite the longest mantra five times a day, however, if you don’t have time you can recite some in the morning and some in the evening. You can divide like that. If you have children who don’t let you recite the mantra, then get up earlier and recite it before the children wake up. Get up [early] and recite the mantra. You can try this for a few weeks.

Regarding your question [about protection from illness] one way of thinking is that these sicknesses are obstacles to your Dharma practice. Usually when we offer a mandala in the lam-rim preparatory practices, we request at the end of the mandala offering to pacify the obstacles—outer and inner obstacles, and sometimes secret obstacles. Sometimes just outer and inner obstacles.

Outer means being under the control of a king, your parents or somebody else who controls you. So for you, your partner doesn’t let you practice Dharma. Inner obstacles are sicknesses and secret obstacles are the delusions, your own negative mind. When there are outer and inner obstacles, this includes both the inner obstacles of sickness and the delusions.

That’s why it is so important after the mandala offering to make this request to pacify and to actualize the path, from correctly following the virtuous friend up to enlightenment. That means to actualize the entire path, both method and wisdom, and to generate all the realizations, from following the virtuous friend correctly with thought and action, up to enlightenment.

Wrong thoughts include disrespect for the gurus. Wrong thoughts include heresy, anger and so forth, and disrespect—not only with the body, but with speech and mind—from there up to the subtle dual view of white appearance, red increasing near-attainment and the dark vision.

The last one is the final subtle obstacle that needs to be pacified in order to achieve the omniscient mind. The second one is to generate all the realizations up to enlightenment. The third one is to pacify all outer and inner obstacles. So that is very, very important.

One way of thinking is that whenever you practice Dharma something happens. This is a very good sign. This means when you practice Dharma then it becomes real Dharma, not outside-looking Dharma, but real Dharma, from the heart. So it is a sign of purification. Some obstacles coming is a sign of purification. You experience the purification immediately; the obstacles happen immediately, so that is a very positive sign. This means a lot of negative karma from past lives, from beginningless rebirths, gets purified. You have to recognize this and rejoice.

If this doesn’t get purified then after you die you will be reborn in the lower realms, in the hell realms, where there is the heaviest suffering for eons. That’s what happens if the negative karma doesn’t get purified. Therefore it is a very positive sign that whenever you practice Dharma something happens. That way in the future you don’t have to be reborn in the lower realms, in the hell realms, where you experience suffering for eons, therefore it is extremely positive. You can be reborn in a pure land and become enlightened or receive a higher rebirth, like a perfect human rebirth, and meet the Dharma and be able to actualize the path.

Regarding your question—yes, things can change if you pray to His Holiness the Dalai Lama and also to Tara. Regarding a three-year retreat—it is very difficult, but if you do retreat, then maybe do Cittamani Tara.

The most important thing is the preliminary practices to purify and collect merit and to develop guru devotion, correctly following the virtuous friend with thought and action and having realizations of that. Then on that basis practice tantra, renunciation, bodhicitta and emptiness. It is very important for the mind to become closer [to lam-rim], so even to read lam-rim and when you read the text, that itself becomes meditation. When you relate it to yourself—for example, suffering—if you relate it to yourself then you develop renunciation. If you relate it to others, then you develop compassion for numberless sentient beings and from there you go to enlightenment. From there then practice tantra, otherwise there is no correct purpose for your practice of tantra.

I am very happy that fortunately you are always healthy and well.

With much love and prayers...