My most dear Emily,
I am very very, very sorry, very, very sorry it took so long to reply to you; it took almost a year to write back.
I checked and if you can, do 100,000 prostrations by reciting the Thirty-five Buddhas and normally every day do 100 prostrations by reciting the Thirty-five Buddhas. Sometimes this may be difficult due to your situation, but do it every day if you can. This is best, but if not then do as much as possible.
Also do Vajrasattva practice at nighttime, to protect the mind. The perfect powerful purification is the remedy of the four powers. Do the purification practice and collect merits, and try to live the life with bodhicitta as much as possible, with a good heart to others.
Every day try to do Lama Tsongkhapa Guru Yoga and the lam-rim prayer, to plant the seed of the whole path to enlightenment. If you can, meditate on the lam-rim every day: guru devotion, the path of the lower capable being, the path of the middle capable being, and the path of the higher capable being, bodhicitta and emptiness.
I am very, very sorry it took a long time to reply to you.
Then also dedicate after you create merit. Dedicate, also dedicate for him to purify, to not be reborn in the lower realms and to achieve enlightenment as quickly as possible.
With much love and prayers...
PS. Sex is for a very, very short time, maybe not even for a full minute, however by meditating, we can achieve samadhi, calm abiding. We achieve physical ecstasy, then extremely refined mental ecstasy. We achieve this bliss through meditation. Of course, even in sutra as we go higher and higher on the path, there is greater and greater bliss and happiness, so it’s incredible, incredible, incredible.
When we achieve arhatship after abandoning delusion, then we achieve the blissful state of peace. Can you imagine? So ordinary sexual pleasure is really only suffering. It lasts for just one or two minutes, even just for one minute, but really even that is only the suffering of change.
Then through the Mahayana five paths and ten bhumis, then wow, wow, then the tantric path, the Six Yogas of Naropa. When we have [practiced] the Six Yogas of Naropa, when we experience the four blisses, so the fourth bliss is being able to keep the kundalini. For a man this means in the penis, without losing. This is what I heard from the meditators living in Dharamsala on the mountains, they say it is 100 times greater bliss or maybe even 1,000 times greater bliss than sex. So, sex is nothing.
The bliss generated in practice goes higher and higher, amazing, amazing. The transcendental wisdom, nondual bliss, is unbelievable, unbelievable, greater, greater. It is like an atomic bomb to cease the delusions, the subtle obscurations. Then that makes to achieve enlightenment, not just in one life—even in lower tantra we can achieve enlightenment in one life, even in the lowest tantra, and in highest tantra within a few years. What does that is the transcendental wisdom, the non-dual bliss and voidness, then we achieve the dharmakaya. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable. Compared to these, even shi-nä or the Six Yogas of Naropa, unbelievable. So sex is nothing, it’s only suffering in nature.
Then one useful thing, we have had this experience so many times before. This is not the first time, this life experience, this sex. We have had it numberless times with every sentient being. Every sentient being has been our wife, our husband, our parents and so forth, so it’s not the first time. This experience of sex is not the first time. We think we never had that experience with that person before, but actually we have had it numberless times in the past, and the result is suffering nature, so we are still in samsara suffering.
[We can achieve] all the great bliss in the Mahayana path, the clear light, the Six Yogas of Naropa, if done with bodhicitta, only for the sake of sentient beings.
Please enjoy my comments and advice.